PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Barack Obaminator (ranked 218 p4p, 294 weight class) and Clubber Lang (ranked 22 p4p, 30 weight class). Obaminator comes into the arena with Gil Scott-Herron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised blaring out of the sound system. Barack Obaminator has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Obaminator
vs
Lang

186 cm
34
185
37 - 18 - 0

185 cm
31
190
24 - 14 - 0

BJJ Red Belt
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

NARCOS
Conviction

Shadow Realm Apparel
Bondi MMA 🏝️

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 37 - 18 - 0, fighting out of New York, Barack Obaminator!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 24 - 14 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Clubber Lang!
The judges for this bout are Mauricio Rocha, Thiago Cunha and Felipe Paraventi.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Lang jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Obaminator looks to land a left hand but Lang moved out of range nicely.

Lang has managed to clinch.
Obaminator blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Lang lands a hook that snaps the head of Obaminator backwards.
Obaminator misses with a punch on the inside.
Obaminator lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Lang keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Obaminator's efforts to push away.
Obaminator misses with a hook to the ribs.
Lang lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Obaminator struggles to land a body shot inside as Lang controls his hands.
Obaminator throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Obaminator is trying to force a seperation but Lang has the dominant position.
A frustrated look appears on Obaminator's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Obaminator is trying to break the clinch but Lang is controlling him.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Obaminator is trying to break free.
Lang can't find room to land a body shot as Obaminator controls the action.
Lang blocks a body shot from Obaminator.
Obaminator lands a nice shot to the body.
Lang misses with a punch on the inside.
Lang misses with a punch to the body.
Obaminator blocks an uppercut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Obaminator is trying to break the clinch but Lang has him pressed against the cage.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Lang.
Lang lands a nice shot to the body.
Lang working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Lang swings wildly with an uppercut but Obaminator uses good head movement to avoid it.

Obaminator pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
A lazy left from Lang finds it's target.

Lang closes the distance and clinches.
A nice right hand lands inside from Obaminator.
Obaminator has had enough of the clinch but Lang keeps him there for the moment.
Obaminator is trying to force a seperation but Lang has the dominant position.

Obaminator breaks the clinch.
Lang with a jab.
Obaminator throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
It seemed like Lang was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Nice defenses there by Lang.
Lang misses with a body shot.
Lang ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Obaminator moves away.

Lang moves into the clinch.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Lang tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Obaminator's elbow.
Obaminator prevents a body shot from Lang.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
Obaminator prevents a body shot from Lang.
Obaminator tries to circle away but Lang has him pinned against the cage.
Lang has a couple of punches blocked by Obaminator.
Lang lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Obaminator tries to throw a body punch but Lang avoids it by throwing Obaminator back against the cage.
Obaminator blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Lang can't find room to land a body shot as Obaminator controls the action.
Obaminator working hard to break the clinch.
Obaminator tries to break free but Lang pushes him back against the cage.
Lang lands a body shot in the clinch.

Obaminator manages to break the clinch.
Lang takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Obaminator misses with an uppercut. Lang saw that one coming.
Lang replies with a solid counter kick to the body but Obaminator blocks it well.
Obaminator punishes Lang's body with a nice straight punch.
Obaminator misses with a body punch
enabling Lang to counter with a crisp jab.
Lang scoring well with a low kick there.
Obaminator takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Lang has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Obaminator.
Lang scores with a hook to the body. Obaminator takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
A big left from Obaminator misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A punch combination from Obaminator misses.
Obaminator looks to throw a body kick
letting Lang counter with a right hand.
Obaminator walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Lang checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Lang wants to counter with a clinch but Obaminator pushes him away.
Obaminator misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Lang.
Lang appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Obaminator slips a straight right by Lang.
Obaminator throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
A chopping leg kick lands by Obaminator.
Lang works Obaminator's body with a nice hook.
Obaminator slips a straight right by Lang.
Lang scores with a leg kick.
Lang works the jab nicely.
Lang throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Obaminator swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Lang uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Obaminator.
Obaminator misses with a hook.
Obaminator wants to land a leg kick but Lang is out of range.
Lang throws a hook to the side of Obaminator's head but Obaminator sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Obaminator lands a leg kick that knocks Lang off balance momentarily.
Obaminator tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Obaminator misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Lang.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lang misses with a low kick.
Obaminator thinks about countering with a body kick.
Lang slips a jab from Obaminator.
Lang is clearly trying to counter these attacks from Obaminator with a body shot.
Obaminator scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Obaminator fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Lang has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Obaminator will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Obaminator looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
An inside leg kick lands from Obaminator.

Obaminator gets tackled into the cage by Lang. Lang maintains the clinch.
Lang throws a head punch that misses.
Obaminator is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Lang lands a left hand.

Obaminator pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Lang tries to clinch up.
Lang uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Obaminator.
Lang moves forwards but Obaminator connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Lang takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Lang keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Obaminator.

Lang rushes Obaminator and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Lang.
Lang digs a right hand into Obaminator's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Obaminator's gas tank.
Obaminator misses with the head strike.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Clubber Lang dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Lang slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Obaminator pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Lang throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Obaminator takes one on the button.
Lang tries to clinch but Obaminator moves out of range.
Obaminator throws a head kick that misses.
Barack Obaminator is winning the standup battle so far.
Lang misses with a body kick.
Obaminator uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Lang.
Obaminator keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Obaminator misses with a hook. Lang ducked under it nicely.
Obaminator throws an overhand right that lands on Lang's shoulder, as Lang tries to avoid the shot.
Lang with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Lang bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Lang digs a good hook to Obaminator's body.
Obaminator throws a head kick but Lang moves out of range.
Barack Obaminator seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Lang takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Lang has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A big left from Lang misses.
Obaminator cracks a nice hook into Lang's ribs.
Lang throws a head kick that half lands.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A cross from Obaminator lands.
Obaminator lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Lang looks to land a body kick but Obaminator moved away.
Lang loads up on a big right hand but Obaminator slips the punch.
Lang feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Obaminators jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Obaminator uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Lang.
Obaminator swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Lang fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Obaminator manages to avoid it.
Lang takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Lang misses with a looping right.
Lang misses with a low kick.
Obaminator delivers a nice body kick.
Lang misses with a low kick.
Lang slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Lang misses with an uppercut. Obaminator saw that one coming.
It looked like Obaminator wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Obaminator scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Lang doesn't seem bothered though.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Lang moves out of range as Obaminator strikes.
Obaminator swings and misses with a shot to the body
and Lang counters with a low kick, right behind Obaminator 's knee.
Obaminator bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Lang misses with a low kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Obaminator will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Obaminator misses with a wild body shot.
Lang takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
Lang misses with a looping left.
Lang missing with a left hand there. Obaminator was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Lang uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Obaminator.
Obaminator paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Lang takes a jab right on the kisser.
Lang misses with a hook. Obaminator ducked under it nicely.
Obaminator moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Lang uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Obaminator.
A punch lands to the side of Lang 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Obaminator keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Lang.
Lang connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Obaminator momentarily.
A jab from Lang finds it's way through Obaminator's defenses.
Lang fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Obaminator manages to avoid it.
Some bone on bone action there as Lang checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Lang takes a shot to the body in his stride.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Some bone on bone action there as Obaminator checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Lang takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Lang thumps Obaminator with a low kick.
A big left from Obaminator misses.
Obaminator listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Lang avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Jab by Lang.
Obaminator chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Lang can pounce on him.
Obaminator ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Lang looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
That kick from Lang tenderised Obaminator's leg. Obaminator is trying to keep his angry face on.
Obaminator tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Lang was well out of range. Poor timing from Obaminator.
Lang connects with a leg kick.
Obaminator bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Lang avoids the body shot from Obaminator.
Obaminator is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Obaminator throws a quick inside leg kick.
Obaminator throws a wild body kick that Lang sees coming a mile off.
Lang blocks a jab.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Obaminator misses the shot to the body.
Obaminator listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Obaminator catches Lang with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Obaminator pivots, looking for a leg kick but Lang is out of range and Obaminator settles back down.
Obaminator with a nice calf kick.
Obaminator thuds a left hand into Lang's body.
Obaminator scores with a jab.
Obaminator throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Lang throws out a counter right but Obaminator avoids it with no problem.
Lang pushes Obaminator away with a front kick.

Lang fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Obaminator, pushing him back against the cage.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Lang tries a body shot but Obaminator blocks it.
Lang's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Obaminator tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Lang.
Lang lands a nice uppercut.
Clubber Lang seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Lang lands with a short head shot on the inside.

Obaminator pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Lang tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Obaminator is able to avoid easily.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Barack Obaminator will probably get the nod.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! This is the final round!

The fighters circling - Obaminator throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Lang pushes Obaminator away with a front kick.
Obaminator scores with a crisp jab that stopped Lang in his tracks.
Lang is looking to clinch.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Obaminator, as that shot connected.
Lang misses with a looping right.
Lang ducks under a wild hook from Obaminator.
Lang is trying to counter with his kicks.
Lang delivers a nice body kick.
Obaminator misses with a body shot
letting Lang counter with a right hand.
Lang fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Obaminator is out of range.
Obaminator checks the leg kick.
Obaminator connects with a body shot.
Lang doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Obaminator swings for the body but Lang moves out of range.
Lang takes one on the button.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Obaminator with a jab.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Obaminator lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Lang has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Lang and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Lang was about to counter that last move with a leg kick but changes his mind.
Obaminator throws an overhand right that lands on Lang's shoulder, as Lang tries to avoid the shot.
Lang misses with a looping right.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lang takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Obaminator avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Lang takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Lang uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Obaminator.
Obaminator sets himself, and Lang steps forward looking for the clinch! Obaminator avoids it this time.
Obaminator throws a body shot but no joy.
Obaminator lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Obaminator bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Obaminator blocks the body kick.
Obaminator throws a low kick but Lang moves out of range easily.
Obaminator swats away the attempt to clinch by Lang.
Lang misses the jab.
Lang misses with a straight right.
Obaminator lands a lovely overhand right.
Lang misses with a hook.
Lang looking to land some kicks to the body here.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Lang checks a leg kick.
Obaminator throws a half hearted mid kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lang scores with a nice head shot.
Obaminator lands with an overhand left.
Obaminator connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Obaminator rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
letting Lang counter with a right hand.
Lang throws a jab but it's blocked by Obaminator.
Obaminator throws a hook to the side of Lang's head but Lang sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Lang takes a swing at Obaminator's ribcage but misses.
Obaminator swings for the body but Lang moves out of range.
Obaminator misses with an uppercut.
Lang scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Obaminator misses with a shot to the body
letting Lang counter with a right hand.
Obaminator is looking to score with low kicks.
Lang feints and then cracks Obaminator's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Obaminator down.
Lang avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Obaminator throws the left hand but Lang avoids the punch easily.
Obaminator throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Lang fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Obaminator checks it well.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Obaminator connects with a leg kick.
Obaminator bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Lang's head.

Lang has closed the distance and engaged Obaminator in a clinch.
Lang lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Obaminator misses with a hook to the ribs.
Obaminator is trying to push Lang away but Lang has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Lang scores with a nice hook to the head.
Lang tries to throw a body punch but Obaminator avoids it by throwing Lang back against the cage.
Lang works on Obaminator's body with a couple of short punches.
Lang swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Lang struggles to land a body shot inside as Obaminator controls his hands.
Lang lands a body punch.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Lang scores with a shot to the side of Obaminator's head.
Obaminator tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Lang blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Lang presses Obaminator against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Lang digs a right hand underneath Obaminator's ribcage. Obaminator let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Lang lands a nice uppercut.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
A body shot lands from Lang.
Lang tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lang scores with a nice hook to the head.
Obaminator blocks a body shot from Lang.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Lang creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Lang has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Obaminator goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Lang doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
A body shot lands from Lang.
A right hook to the body lands for Lang.
Lang tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Lang softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Lang lands with a right to the head.
Obaminator is trying to break the clinch but Lang has him pressed against the cage.
Nice body punch from Lang.
Nice body punch from Lang.
Good body shot from Lang.
Lang lands a right hand.
A right hook to the body lands for Lang.
Lang struggles to land a body shot inside as Obaminator controls his hands.
Lang lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Lang works on Obaminator's body with a couple of short punches.
Lang misses with a shot to the kidneys.

And that's the end of the fight!
Clubber Lang comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Lang has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Mauricio Rocha scores the fight 27:30
Judge Thiago Cunha scores the fight 27:30
Judge Felipe Paraventi scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Clubber Lang!
A relieved looking Clubber Lang thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
Barack Obaminator spoke after the fight, saying 'I'll be black'.