PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dick Offenhard (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Lorenzo Von Matterhorn (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Offenhard kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Ghostface Killah - Daytona 500. Von Matterhorn has chosen Barney Stinson is Awesome as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. Man, I cannot wait for this one!

Offenhard
vs
Von Matterhorn

186 cm
27
205 lbs
21 - 6 - 2

182 cm
31
207 lbs
16 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Olympic wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Good gas tank

TFP Graphics - Pit Inc
Conviction

160! - Sale!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 21 - 6 - 2, fighting out of New York, Dick Offenhard!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 16 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Lorenzo Von Matterhorn!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Timothy Bukovac and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Von Matterhorn takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
The fighters circling - Von Matterhorn throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Von Matterhorn tries to clinch there but Offenhard circles away.
Von Matterhorn checks a leg kick.
Offenhard swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Offenhard tries to land a leg kick but Von Matterhorn saw it coming and moves away.
Von Matterhorn tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Offenhard is able to avoid easily.
Von Matterhorn fails with the takedown
and Offenhard makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Nice body punch from Offenhard.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Offenhard.
Von Matterhorn looks gassed!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Von Matterhorn blocks a leg kick.
An inside leg kick lands from Offenhard.
Offenhard with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
A slapping leg kick lands for Offenhard.
Offenhard connects with a high kick.
Von Matterhorn takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Offenhard, right into the meat.
Offenhard misses with a head kick.
Offenhard dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Von Matterhorn. That did some damage!
Offenhard lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Offenhard thumps Von Matterhorn with a low kick.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Good leg kick by Offenhard there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Offenhard lands with a kick to the temple. Von Matterhorn shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Offenhard throws a nice outside leg kick.

Offenhard has closed the distance and engaged Von Matterhorn in a clinch.
Offenhard landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Offenhard landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Offenhard trying to land knees to the body.
Offenhard lands an elbow inside that Von Matterhorn shrugs off.
Von Matterhorn's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Offenhard lands a nice elbow.
Offenhard tries to land knees in the clinch but Von Matterhorn avoids the damage to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Knees to the body from Offenhard.
Offenhard scores with a hook to the body.
Offenhard misses with a hook to the ribs.
Offenhard unloads a knee to the mid-section. Von Matterhorn lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Offenhard.
Offenhard landing knees to the body.
Nice body punch from Offenhard - that landed with a thud.
Offenhard scores a nice knee to the body.
Offenhard landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Von Matterhorn blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Offenhard tries a body shot but Von Matterhorn blocks it.
Offenhard dictating the pace here, as the fighters clinch against the cage.
Offenhard lands a body punch.
Von Matterhorn takes a shot to the head.
Offenhard tries to land knees in the clinch but Von Matterhorn avoids the damage to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Offenhard creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Von Matterhorn's defenses.
Offenhard missing with knees to the body.
Offenhard trying to land knees to the body.
Offenhard trying to land knees to the body.
Von Matterhorn goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Offenhard trying to land knees to the body.
Von Matterhorn misses with a hook to the ribs.
Offenhard lands an elbow inside.
Offenhard scores a nice knee to the body.
Offenhard lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Offenhard landing some nice looking knees to the body.
Offenhard has Von Matterhorn pressed against the cage.
Offenhard is trying to wear down his opponent with knees to the body.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Von Matterhorn takes an elbow to the temple.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Offenhard works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Von Matterhorn prevents a body shot from Offenhard.
Offenhard tries a body shot but Von Matterhorn blocks it.
Offenhard softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Von Matterhorn blocks an elbow strike from Offenhard.
Von Matterhorn avoiding damage as Offenhard throws knees to the body.
Offenhard tries a body shot but Von Matterhorn blocks it.
Knees to the body from Offenhard.
Von Matterhorn dodges an elbow strike from Offenhard.
Offenhard landing knees to the body.
Offenhard looking to throw knees to the head but Von Matterhorn is blocking nicely.
Offenhard lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Von Matterhorn.
Nice body punch from Offenhard.
Offenhard lands a good knee to the midsection. Von Matterhorn won't want to take too many of those.
Offenhard misses with a hook to the ribs.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dick Offenhard dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Offenhard swings for the body but Von Matterhorn moves out of range.
Offenhard lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Offenhard is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Von Matterhorn can do to turn this around?
Offenhard misses with an uppercut
and Von Matterhorn counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Von Matterhorn blocks a leg kick.
Offenhard misses with a leg kick.
Von Matterhorn ducks under a wild hook from Offenhard.
Offenhard lands a jab to the head.
Offenhard checks the leg kick.
Von Matterhorn ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Offenhard moves away.
Offenhard lands with a thumping leg kick.
Von Matterhorn takes a body punch but keeps moving.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
That kick from Offenhard tenderised Von Matterhorn's leg. Von Matterhorn is trying to keep his angry face on.
An inside leg kick lands from Offenhard.
Von Matterhorn is breathing heavily.
Offenhard throws a quick inside leg kick.
Dick Offenhard is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Offenhard cracks the inside of Von Matterhorn's front leg.
Offenhard throws a nice outside leg kick.
Good leg kick by Offenhard there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Nice body kick there by Offenhard.
A nice leg kick lands there from Offenhard.
Offenhard tries to clinch but Von Matterhorn is having none of it.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Offenhard lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Offenhard dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Von Matterhorn. That did some damage!
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Offenhard blocks a leg kick.
Von Matterhorn walks into a jab.
Von Matterhorn takes a body kick right on the floating rib. Ouchie.
Offenhard fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Offenhard buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Offenhard scores with a leg kick.
Offenhard tries a head kick but it misses.
Offenhard throws a push kick but Von Matterhorn slaps the foot to one side.
Offenhard throws a low kick but Von Matterhorn moves out of range easily.
Offenhard throws a leg kick which misses Von Matterhorn's front leg but catches the back leg as Von Matterhorn tries to avoid it.
Von Matterhorn thows a body shot but no joy.
A punch lands to the side of Offenhard 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Good leg kick by Offenhard there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Offenhard scores with a head kick.
Offenhard feints with a left and delivers a massive head kick! Von Matterhorn collapses like a ragdoll! Game over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:48 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Dick Offenhard!
A victorious Dick Offenhard thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.