PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Clubber Lang (ranked 616 p4p, 1266 weight class) and Kevin Faulk (ranked 84 p4p, 171 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Kevin Faulk was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Lang
vs
Faulk

185 cm
27
190
12 - 8 - 0

157 cm
29
202
20 - 12 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Good gas tank

Shadow Realm Apparel
Bondi MMA 🏝️

Silverguard Outfitters 🛡
30th Century Beer Store

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 8 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Clubber Lang!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 20 - 12 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Kevin Faulk!
The judges for this bout are Russell Pearce, Alyssa Summers and Joseph Jones.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Faulk checks a leg kick.
Faulk appeared to try and counter that last move with a leg kick.
Faulk looks for the body kick but Lang saw that one coming.
Faulk moves forwards but Lang connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Faulk tries to clinch there but Lang circles away.
Lang feinted there with a counter leg kick.
Faulk falls off balance throwing a combination
and Lang counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Faulk tries to clinch up.
Faulk on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Lang. Lang obviously looking to wear him down.
Lang lands with a nice body punch.
A nice leg kick lands there from Lang.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Faulk lands a nice leg kick that just misses Lang's sensitive parts.
Lang connects with a body shot that sends Faulk's belly button to the back.

Lang clinches up against the cage.
Lang scores with a shot to the side of Faulk's head.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Faulk has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lang misses with a hook to the ribs.
The referee calls for Lang to work.
Lang lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Lang tries a body shot but Faulk blocks it.
Lang lands a right hand.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Faulk.
Lang lands a shoulder strike.
The referee calls for Lang to work.
Lang misses with a hook from the clinch.
Lang tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Lang avoiding damage.
Faulk pushes Lang back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Lang blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Lang tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Lang has a couple of punches blocked by Faulk.
A right handed body shot lands from Lang.
I was talking to Lang's coach per-fight and he was telling me that they'd been working on the clinch in the runup to this fight.
Lang lands a right hand that snaps the head of Faulk backwards.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Lang creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Lang lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Faulk backwards.
Faulk working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Lang swings wildly with an uppercut but Faulk uses good head movement to avoid it.
Lang digs a right hand underneath Faulk's ribcage. Faulk let out a lung full of air as it connected.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Lang escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Lang goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
A lazy left from Lang finds it's target.
Clubber Lang seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Lang scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Lang throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Lang scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Good leg kick by Lang.
Faulk swings for the body but Lang moves out of range.
Lang is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Lang lunges at Faulk with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Faulk's hand.
Lang is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Faulk throws a leg kick
and Lang counters with an outside leg kick.
Lang jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Faulk defending well as Lang loads up on a big left hand.
This has been an exciting period of action!

Faulk instigates a clinch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lang is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.
Lang is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Lang tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Faulk is looking to control Lang's arms but Lang gets an underhook and turns him. Now Faulk has his back to the cage.
Lang tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Faulk's elbow.
The referee calls for Faulk to work.
Lang lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Faulk leaning against his opponent.
Lang throws a head punch that misses.
Lang has a couple of punches blocked by Faulk.
Faulk tries to stall but Lang uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Lang stalling against the cage.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Lang.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Clubber Lang dominated that round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Faulk pushes Lang up against the cage in a clinch.
Lang fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Clubber Lang has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Lang scores with a shot to the side of Faulk's head.
Lang tries a body shot but Faulk blocks it.
Lang swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Faulk has Lang pushed against the cage.

Faulk breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Faulk misses with a straight right.
Faulk fails with an attempt to clinch.
Clubber Lang is winning the standup battle so far.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Faulk lands the left hand.
No joy there for Faulk, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Lang avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Nice shot lands for Lang.
Lang is looking to clinch.
Faulk unleashes a big counter combination but Lang bobs and weaves and avoids any damage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Faulk defending well as Lang loads up on a big left hand.
Faulk tries to clinch but Lang moves out of range.
Faulk misses with an uppercut.
Kevin Faulk is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Lang connects with a good right hand that stumbles Faulk. Faulk circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
A slow jab from Lang misses its intended target.
Lang connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Faulk momentarily.
Lang bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Faulk's head.
Faulk lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.

Lang gets tackled into the cage by Faulk. Faulk maintains the clinch.

Faulk breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Lang looks to score with a jab to the body but Faulk is just out of range.
Faulk misses with an uppercut
and Lang counters with a nice low kick that buckles Faulk's knee momentarily.
Faulk is looking to take this fight into the clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lang thumps Faulk with a low kick.
A bone on bone clash there as Faulk blocks the leg kick.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Lang misses with a leg kick.
A little jabbing left from Faulk on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.

Faulk fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Lang, pushing him back against the cage.
Lang being controlled against the cage.
Faulk has Lang pushed against the cage.

Faulk breaks from the clinch.
Lang with a nice cross.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lang avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Lang scores with a body shot.
Faulk throws a right and a left that Lang avoids nicely.
A little feinted left hand from Lang on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Faulk throws a right hand that Lang ducks under and follows up with a left that Lang also avoids with ease.
Faulk throws the left hand but Lang avoids the punch easily.
Faulk takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Clubber Lang is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

Lang gets tackled into the cage by Faulk. Faulk maintains the clinch.
Faulk blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Faulk.
Faulk being controlled against the cage.
The referee calls for Lang to work.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lang working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Lang leaning against his opponent.
Faulk blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Faulk is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Lang fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
A short right from Lang on the inside.
Lang lands a hook that snaps the head of Faulk backwards.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Lang is leaning against Faulk and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.
Lang is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Faulk can do to turn this around?
Lang working aggressively here.
Faulk prevents a body shot from Lang.
A head punch on the inside from Lang fails to land.
Lang tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Lang has a couple of punches blocked by Faulk.
Lang lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Clubber Lang dominated that second round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!

Faulk walks into a straight right hand from Lang.
A slapping leg kick lands for Lang.
Faulk attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Faulk on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Lang. Lang obviously looking to wear him down.
Lang fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.

Faulk gets in close and instigates a clinch.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
A right hook to the body lands for Lang.
Faulk lands with a left to the head.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Lang tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Lang looking to stall.

Faulk's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Lang looks to throw a body kick
letting Faulk counter with a right hand.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Faulk tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Lang paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Lang lands with an uppercut that bounces Faulk off the cage and back into range.
Faulk checks the leg kick nicely there.

Faulk darts in and clinches Lang up against the cage.
Nice body punch from Lang - that landed with a thud.
Lang lands a body shot in the clinch.
Faulk takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
The referee is keeping an eye on Lang - much more stalling and he will separate the fighters.
Lang can't find room to land a body shot as Faulk controls the action.
Lang lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Faulk letting Lang take a breather here.
Faulk blocks a body shot from Lang.
Clubber Lang is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Faulk blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Lang misses with a punch to the body.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Faulk creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
A bit of stalling here from Lang.
Lang tries a body shot but Faulk blocks it.
Lang tries to throw a body punch but Faulk avoids it by throwing Lang back against the cage.
Lang works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Faulk trying to stall but Lang improves his position.
Lang slowing the pace effectively.
Faulk looking to slow down the pace here.
Lang content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Faulk's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Faulk misses with some punches.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Lang misses with a punch on the inside.
A body shot lands from Lang.
Good body shot from Lang.
Lang manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Lang misses with a hook from the clinch.
Lang can't find room to land a body shot as Faulk controls the action.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Faulk misses with a hook from the clinch.
Lang swings wildly with an uppercut but Faulk uses good head movement to avoid it.
Lang misses with a hook from the clinch.
A head punch on the inside from Lang fails to land.
Lang lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Kevin Faulk has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Faulk prevents a body shot from Lang.
Faulk trying to stall but Lang improves his position.
Lang lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Faulk backwards.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Lang throws a head punch that misses.
Faulk blocks a body shot from Lang.
Lang is stalling here.
Faulk doesn't land with the attempted body shot.

And that's the end of the fight!
Clubber Lang showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Lang has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Russell Pearce scores the fight 30:27
Judge Alyssa Summers scores the fight 30:27
Judge Joseph Jones scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Clubber Lang!
Clubber Lang seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.