PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Charles Barboza (ranked 4182 p4p, 369 weight class) and Ted Thundercunt (ranked 4024 p4p, 361 weight class). Ted Thundercunt will no doubt be trying to keep this one on the feet, where he has a distinct advantage.

Barboza
vs
Thundercunt

185 cm
25
265 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

200 cm
25
255 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Brawler
Hates pizza

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Charles Barboza!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Ted Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are Santiago Holmes, Daniel Franklin and Bart Greer.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Barboza manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Thundercunt on his heels. He'll look to pass Thundercunt's guard now, I'm sure.
Barboza tries to free his leg and advance position but Thundercunt is retaining full guard.
Barboza postures up.
Barboza trying to control the position from guard on top but Thundercunt is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Barboza postures up.
Thundercunt looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Barboza advances position into side control!

Barboza working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
Barboza tries to advance to mount but can't.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Thundercunt is not content to let Barboza control the position.

Barboza thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Barboza tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.

Barboza is working to tighten his grip on Thundercunt's neck. He's isolated an arm and is working for an arm triangle. Thundercunt has recognised the danger and is trying to turn with the submission but Barboza is really squeezing tight and eventually Thundercunt passes out! Barboza breaks the hold and jumps onto the ropes to celebrate! Submission of the night, I'd say!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:39 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Arm Triangle). Charles Barboza!