PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Whatacunt Bones (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Akuma Kamealoha (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kamealoha has chosen Somewhere over the rainbow as his entrance music. Akuma Kamealoha has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Whatacunt Bones's chin.

Bones
vs
Kamealoha

195 cm
26
217 lbs
11 - 0 - 0

209 cm
26
300 lbs
8 - 1 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Very strong

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Lion Fightwear

Voodoo Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Whatacunt Bones!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Akuma Kamealoha!
The judges for this bout are Jeff Smith, Paul Gruel and Colin Fray.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bones lands a nice shot that snaps Kamealoha's head back.
Kamealoha keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Bones lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Bones looks to score with a jab to the body but Kamealoha is just out of range.
Kamealoha looks to land a left hand but Bones moved out of range nicely.
Kamealoha throws a looping overhand right but Bones ducks down to avoid it.
Kamealoha slips under a jab.
Bones jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Bones throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Bones fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Bones takes a body punch but keeps moving.
A decent looking cross lands there for Kamealoha.

Kamealoha gets tackled into the cage by Bones. Bones maintains the clinch.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Bones swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Kamealoha tries a body shot but Bones blocks it.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Kamealoha.
Bones working aggressively here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bones tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Kamealoha blocks a body shot from Bones.
Bones lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
A short right from Bones.
Kamealoha is working Bones over against the cage.
Kamealoha misses with a hook to the ribs.
Kamealoha fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Bones misses with some punches.
Bones has a couple of punches blocked by Kamealoha.
Kamealoha has a couple of punches blocked by Bones.
Kamealoha blocks a body shot from Bones.
Kamealoha working aggressively here.
Kamealoha swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Kamealoha doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Bones lands with a right to the head.
A short right from Bones on the inside.
Bones tries to throw a body punch but Kamealoha avoids it by throwing Bones back against the cage.
Kamealoha swings wildly with an uppercut but Bones uses good head movement to avoid it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bones tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Bones tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Bones swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Kamealoha throws a punch but it's blocked by Bones.
Kamealoha lands with a short punch from the clinch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Kamealoha tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Bones doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Bones working aggressively here.
Bones tries to work over Kamealoha's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Kamealoha working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Bones blocking some punches.
Bones blocking some punches.
A nice left hand lands by Kamealoha.

Bones breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Kamealoha has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Bones finds it's way round the side to connect with Kamealoha's head.
Bones misses the shot to the body.
Nice shot by Bones.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bones throws a body shot but no joy.

Kamealoha sends Bones crashing to the mat with a devastating uppercut! Kamealoha is motioning to the referee to let Bones up. He wants to try and finish this one on the feet!

Bones is rocked!
Kamealoha takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Oh Bones is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Bones ducks under a wild hook from Kamealoha.
Bones seems to have got his legs back now.
Kamealoha misses with a double jab
and Bones counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Kamealoha throws a big shot that misses.
Kamealoha avoids the body shot from Bones.
Kamealoha ducks under a wild hook from Bones.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Bones misses the shot to the body.
Kamealoha avoids the body shot from Bones.
Bones throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Kamealoha is clearly trying to counter these attacks from Bones with a body shot.
Bones just misses with a punch to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kamealoha keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Bones blocks a jab.
It looks like Bones has been trying to sharpen up his punching technique, as it looks crisper than last time we saw him.
Bones thows a left - swing and a miss!
Kamealoha throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Bones sees it coming and avoids it easily.

Bones clinches.
Bones misses with a punch on the inside.
Bones misses with a hook from the clinch.
Kamealoha prevents a body shot from Bones.
A left hand lands to the body for Bones.
Bones lands a body shot.
Kamealoha looks winded!
Bones lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Bones lands with a right to the head.
A left hand lands to the body for Bones.
A right handed body shot lands from Bones.
Bones misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Bones lands a left hand.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Whatacunt Bones dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Bones lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Whatacunt Bones seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Bones lands a jab to the head.
Kamealoha has tried to improve his agility in the runup to this fight.

Bones instigates a clinch.
Bones is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Kamealoha can do to turn this around?
Kamealoha struggles to land a body shot inside as Bones controls his hands.
A right hand to the body from Bones.
Bones throws a punch but it's blocked by Kamealoha.
A head punch on the inside from Bones fails to land.
Bones blocking some punches.
Kamealoha blocking some punches.
Bones tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Bones lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Bones misses with a short punch on the inside.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bones scores with a nice hook to the head.
Bones digs a right hand into Kamealoha's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Kamealoha's gas tank.
Kamealoha is breathing heavily.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Kamealoha.
Bones has a couple of punches blocked by Kamealoha.
Kamealoha's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Bones working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kamealoha throws a head punch that misses.
Kamealoha swings wildly with an uppercut but Bones uses good head movement to avoid it.
Kamealoha lands with a light punch inside.
Kamealoha fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Bones doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Nice body punch from Kamealoha.
Kamealoha fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Bones swings away with an uppercut that misses.
A left hand lands to the body for Bones.
Bones lands a hook to the side of the head.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Bones.
Bones lands a left hand.
Bones digs a right hand into Kamealoha's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Kamealoha's gas tank.
Bones lands a right hand.
Bones tries to work over Kamealoha's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Bones is leaning against Kamealoha and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.
Bones scores with a shoulder strike.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
A left hand lands to the body for Bones.
Kamealoha blocking some punches.
Bones scores with an uppercut up the middle.
A shot in the inside from Bones.
Bones working aggressively here.
Kamealoha blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Whatacunt Bones has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Bones tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Bones doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
A nice right hand lands inside from Bones.
Bones working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Nice body punch from Bones - that landed with a thud.
Bones tries to work over Kamealoha's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Good body shot from Bones.
Bones throws a punch but it's blocked by Kamealoha.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Bones.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Bones creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Bones lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bones tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Kamealoha's elbow.
Bones scores with an uppercut up the middle.

Kamealoha is rocked!
A right hand to the body from Bones.
Kamealoha is still on wobbly legs! Can Bones finish him?
Bones lands with a left to the head.
Bones lands an uppercut in the clinch that drops Kamealoha to his knees! Bones keeps firing more shots against his stricken opponent and the referee jumps in to save him!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:19 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Whatacunt Bones!
Whatacunt Bones retains his super heavyweight title!
Whatacunt Bones decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.
In defeat, Akuma Kamealoha stepped up to the mic, saying 'Someday I'll wish upon a star Wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where trouble melts like lemon drops High above the chimney top That's where you'll find me'.