PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Popeye Parsnips (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Prince Tycooner (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Tycooner is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Prince "Cream". I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Prince Tycooner was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Parsnips
vs
Tycooner

205 cm
25
250 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

197 cm
25
270 lbs
2 - 1 - 0

Decent wrestler
Solid boxing
KO power

BJJ White Belt
Decent boxing
Heavy handed

Hellraiser FightGear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Popeye Parsnips !
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Prince Tycooner!
The judges for this bout are Santiago Holmes, Michael Johnstone and Dirk Anderson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Tycooner misses the shot to the body.
Tycooner scores with a nice right hand.
Tycooner's corner calls for a 1, 2 combination and Tycooner duly obliges.
Tycooner throws a shot from downtown. Parsnips moves away and avoids it.
Parsnips swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Parsnips lands a body shot.
Parsnips ducks under a wild hook from Tycooner.
Tycooner ducks under a wild hook from Parsnips .
Parsnips moves away from the strike by Tycooner.
Parsnips lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Tycooner at a distance.
Parsnips lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Tycooner scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.

Parsnips is rocked!
This has been an exciting period of action!
Parsnips throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Tycooner misses with a hook
and Parsnips counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Tycooner throws a shot from downtown. Parsnips moves away and avoids it.
Parsnips fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Tycooner manages to avoid it.
A little jabbing left from Tycooner on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Parsnips misses with a wild body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Parsnips misses with an uppercut. Tycooner saw that one coming.
Parsnips keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Parsnips 's corner calls for a 1-2. Parsnips obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Parsnips ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Tycooner moves away.
Parsnips misses with a wild body shot.
Tycooner swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Nice defenses there by Parsnips .
Parsnips cracks a nice hook into Tycooner's ribs.
Tycooner misses with a straight left.
Parsnips slips a jab from Tycooner.
Parsnips throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Parsnips is looking light on his feet compared to last time was saw him fight.
Tycooner closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Tycooner on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Tycooner misses with a looping right.
Parsnips scores with a jab to the jaw.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Tycooner takes a swing at Parsnips 's ribcage but misses.
Tycooner throws out a token jab with nothing on it.

Parsnips darts in and clinches Tycooner up against the cage.
Tycooner throws a head punch that misses.
Parsnips blocks an uppercut.
Parsnips is struggling to control the position.
Tycooner swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Parsnips lands a left hand that snaps the head of Tycooner backwards.
Tycooner doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Parsnips lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Tycooner looks winded!
Tycooner keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Parsnips 's efforts to push away.

Tycooner breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Parsnips digs a good hook to Tycooner's body.
Tycooner is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Parsnips digs a good hook to Tycooner's body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Parsnips sends Tycooner crashing to the mat with a devastating uppercut! Parsnips is motioning to the referee to let Tycooner up. He wants to try and finish this one on the feet!

Tycooner is rocked!

It looks like Prince Tycooner has been cut.
Parsnips scores with a shot to the body.
Tycooner is still on wobbly legs! Can Parsnips finish him?
Tycooner switches off momentarily and Parsnips cracks him with a monster right hand! Tycooner topples backwards and makes a semi conscious attempt to cover up, as Parsnips dives in to land one more shot, before the referee has time to call the fight. What a finish by Parsnips !

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:14 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Popeye Parsnips !
The defeated Prince Tycooner had this to say: 'Time for a taco and a big Stiffy !'.