PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between HL Mencken (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Roger Tiddlywinks (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Mencken comes to the cage accompanied by Circle Jerks - Question Authority. Tiddlywinks comes into a darkened arena with his song building. The Seinfeld Intro kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Roger Tiddlywinks was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Mencken
vs
Tiddlywinks

195 cm
21
280 lbs
7 - 1 - 0

197 cm
22
265 lbs
6 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Decent wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Spartan Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, HL Mencken!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Roger Tiddlywinks!
The judges for this bout are Russell Pearce, Eddie Farnsworth and David Schapiro.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A jab from Mencken misses.
Mencken lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Mencken comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Mencken misses with a wild body shot.
Mencken connects with a single shot there.
Tiddlywinks throws a right and a left that Mencken avoids nicely.
Tiddlywinks uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Mencken.
Mencken blocks a head kick by Tiddlywinks.
Mencken is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Nice body punch from Mencken.
HL Mencken seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Tiddlywinks pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Tiddlywinks thows a left - swing and a miss!
Mencken sizes up Tiddlywinks with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Mencken connects with a body shot.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Mencken thuds a left hand into Tiddlywinks's body.
Tiddlywinks tries to land a front kick but Mencken steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Tiddlywinks lands a nice looking kick to the body. Mencken takes a step back to recover.
Mencken misses with a lunging right hand
and Tiddlywinks makes the exchange count by landing a cracking kick to the body. Mencken really felt that one!

That's one minute gone in the round.
Mencken lands a jab to Tiddlywinks's midsection.
Tiddlywinks tries to land a front kick but Mencken steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Tiddlywinks throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Mencken avoids a kick to the body.
A big right from Mencken misses.
Mencken scores with a punch to the head.
Tiddlywinks connects with a solid leg kick.
Mencken throws a body shot but no joy.
Mencken rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Tiddlywinks moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Tiddlywinks looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Mencken lands a right hook to the body.
Good work by Mencken as he checks the leg kick.
Tiddlywinks gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Mencken.
Tiddlywinks lands a nice looking body kick.
Mencken checks a leg kick.
Tiddlywinks throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Mencken on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
No joy there for Mencken, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Tiddlywinks shapes to counter with a head kick.
A lazy left from Tiddlywinks finds it's target.

It looks like HL Mencken has been cut.
Mencken misses with the combination.
Tiddlywinks pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Tiddlywinks doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Tiddlywinks misses with a straight left.
Mencken swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Mencken is looking to wear down Tiddlywinks with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Tiddlywinks pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Tiddlywinks tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Tiddlywinks misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Tiddlywinks ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
A head kick from Tiddlywinks lands but Mencken takes it in his stride.
Tiddlywinks shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Tiddlywinks uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Mencken.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Mencken rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Tiddlywinks moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Mencken lands with a good body shot.
Mencken moves out of range of the leg kick from Tiddlywinks.
Mencken is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Mencken fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Tiddlywinks scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Tiddlywinks throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Mencken counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Mencken jabs Tiddlywinks right on the nose. Tiddlywinks blinks but takes it well.
Tiddlywinks avoids the body shot from Mencken.
Tiddlywinks throws a head kick that misses.
Mencken is looking to counter punch.
Mencken throws a series of punches but Tiddlywinks moves out of range.
A head kick from Tiddlywinks lands but Mencken takes it in his stride.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Mencken looks to score with a jab to the body but Tiddlywinks is just out of range.
Mencken throws a looping overhand right but Tiddlywinks ducks down to avoid it.
Tiddlywinks on the wrong end of a nice hook.
A looping hook to the body misses from Mencken. Tiddlywinks does a little dance to reset his feet.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Tiddlywinks throws a leg kick
and Mencken counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Tiddlywinks lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
It looks like Mencken has been trying to sharpen up his punching technique, as it looks crisper than last time we saw him.
Mencken throws a right and a left that both miss.
Mencken keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Sloppy strikes from Mencken. Those never looked like landing.
Tiddlywinks only half commits to the counter leg kick.
Mencken connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Tiddlywinks tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Tiddlywinks attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Mencken throws a hook but Tiddlywinks blocks it.
Mencken tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Jab by Tiddlywinks.
Mencken shuffles to his left behind two crisp jabs. Tiddlywinks eats them both and turns towards Mencken to reposition himself and eats a stinging right hand-left hook combo.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Tiddlywinks is looking to slow Mencken down with leg kicks.
Tiddlywinks tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Mencken is able to avoid easily.
Tiddlywinks misses with a leg kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

HL Mencken dominated that round.
The cut man is working on HL Mencken's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Tiddlywinks looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Tiddlywinks fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Mencken.
Tiddlywinks looks to score with a jab to the body but Mencken is just out of range.
Tiddlywinks is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Mencken.
Tiddlywinks slips under a jab.
Mencken misses the body punch
and Tiddlywinks counters with a slapping leg kick.
Nice body punch from Mencken.
Tiddlywinks fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Tiddlywinks throws a body kick that misses.
Tiddlywinks throws out a leg kick but Mencken moves out of range and Tiddlywinks only half commits.
Tiddlywinks walks into a left hand.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Tiddlywinks, right into the meat.
Mencken misses with a hook.
As Mencken backs off Tiddlywinks throws a huge counter combo but Mencken manages to avoid it all.
Tiddlywinks throws a nice outside leg kick.
Mencken misses with a body shot.
Mencken throws a body punch but Tiddlywinks moves out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Mencken checks a leg kick nicely.
Mencken takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Tiddlywinks looks to land a body kick but Mencken moved away.
Mencken throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Tiddlywinks throws a body kick that misses.
Tiddlywinks is looking to land body kicks.
Mencken went nuts there looking for a big combo counter but none of the flurry connected.
Decent striking displayed by Mencken there.
Tiddlywinks throws out a leg kick but Mencken moves out of range and Tiddlywinks only half commits.
Mencken misses with an uppercut.
Tiddlywinks keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Tiddlywinks connects with an inside leg kick.
Mencken misses with a few strikes there.
Mencken lands a jab. Then a cross. Then finally a nice hook to the body. Good work there by Mencken.
Tiddlywinks misses with a head kick.
Tiddlywinks pulls out of a head kick attempt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Tiddlywinks misses the jab.
Mencken looks to land a combination but Tiddlywinks avoids it well.
And Tiddlywinks responds with a good body kick, but Mencken manages to step out the way in time.
A swing and a miss from Mencken.
Tiddlywinks misses with a looping left.
Mencken misses the shot to the body.
Tiddlywinks steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Mencken.
Tiddlywinks fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Mencken manages to avoid it.
Tiddlywinks looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Mencken takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Tiddlywinks takes a jab right on the kisser.
Tiddlywinks uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Mencken.
Nice straight punches there by Mencken. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Mencken.
No joy there for Mencken, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Despite the aggression on Tiddlywinks's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Tiddlywinks attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Mencken misses with a body shot.
Tiddlywinks swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Mencken looks to land a combination. Tiddlywinks sees it coming but can only parry a couple of the shots.

Tiddlywinks is rocked!
Mencken catches Tiddlywinks with a right, a left, a right. It's raining punches and Tiddlywinks forgot an umbrella! Another punch and he's down. This one is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:13 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punches). HL Mencken!
A victorious HL Mencken thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.
In defeat, Roger Tiddlywinks stepped up to the mic, saying 'I want icecream mom'.