PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Phil Brooks (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Rectal Porridge (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The crowd seem to be enjoying Porridge's choice of entrance music: Public Image. Rectal Porridge has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Phil Brooks's chin.

Brooks
vs
Porridge

188 cm
32
145 lbs
21 - 11 - 0

170 cm
23
145 lbs
2 - 0 - 0

Good takedowns
Counter fighter
Very quick

Powerful takedowns
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 21 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Phil Brooks!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Rectal Porridge!
The judges for this bout are Saam Ante, Nard Betker and Albert Achterberg.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Brooks takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.

Brooks drives through with a takedown into Porridge's guard. Let's see what he can do from the top position.
Porridge trying to control the position.
Porridge throws a couple of heel strikes.
Porridge looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Porridge has Brooks pulled in close to control his posture.
Brooks will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Brooks preventing the sweep.

Porridge is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Brooks trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but Porridge manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!

Porridge looking to pass the guard.
Porridge trying to control but Brooks is working from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Porridge slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Brooks keeping full guard, as Porridge tries to pass.
Porridge trying to control the position from guard on top but Brooks is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Brooks looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Porridge not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Porridge won't allow Brooks to sweep him here.
Brooks wants to improve his position but instead Porridge has moved into half guard.
Porridge works his way into full mount!
Porridge wants to take Brooks's back here but Brooks is holding on to an arm, himself looking to escape.
Brooks tries to reverse the position but Porridge maintains control.
Brooks really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Brooks is working hard here to advance position.
Porridge tries to control but Brooks wriggling away.

Brooks tries to improve his position but Porridge has taken his back! Porridge has a choke - it's sunk in pretty tight... Will Brooks tap? No... maybe... yes! He's tapped! Porridge pushes Brooks away and gets up to celebrate with his corner!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:34 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Rectal Porridge!
Rectal Porridge seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.