PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Joseph Shoznes (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Wooden Pencil (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Shoznes comes into the arena with O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei blaring out of the sound system. The crowd seem to be enjoying Pencil's choice of entrance music: Full Retard. These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Shoznes
vs
Pencil

198 cm
23
270 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

185 cm
21
193 lbs
11 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
World class MT
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Decent boxing
Knockout power

KAISER

Dragon

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of New York, Joseph Shoznes!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 11 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Wooden Pencil!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Bishop, Chris Edwards and Steven Brown.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Pencil is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
Shoznes moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Good leg kick by Pencil there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Shoznes loads up on a big right hand but Pencil slips the punch.
An inside leg kick lands from Shoznes.
Pencil misses with a lunging right hand
and Shoznes counters with a nice uppercut.
Shoznes uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Pencil.
Pencil wants to land a leg kick but Shoznes is out of range.
Pencil pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Pencil ducks under a wild hook from Shoznes.
Shoznes ducks under a wild hook from Pencil.
Pencil wants to land a leg kick but Shoznes is out of range.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Nice defenses there by Pencil.
A slapping leg kick lands for Shoznes.
Pencil throws a jab but it's blocked by Shoznes.
Pencil wants to land a leg kick but Shoznes is out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pencil will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Pencil throws a left and a right that both miss
and Shoznes counters with a stiff right hand.
Pencil throws a leg kick but Shoznes sees it coming and moves out of range.
Pencil throws an overhand right that lands on Shoznes's shoulder, as Shoznes tries to avoid the shot.
Shoznes bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Pencil misses with the combination.
Shoznes is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Pencil throws a left and a right that both miss
and Shoznes makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Shoznes thows a body shot but no joy.
Pencil tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Shoznes was well out of range. Poor timing from Pencil.
Pencil paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Shoznes ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A shot to the liver by Shoznes. Beautiful body shot.
Shoznes scores with a kick to the midsection.
Pencil looks winded!
Shoznes connects with an inside leg kick.
Shoznes connects with the punch.

Pencil is rocked!

Shoznes pushes Pencil up against the cage in a clinch.
Pencil can't break the clinch.
Shoznes tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Shoznes lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Pencil is still on wobbly legs! Can Shoznes finish him?

It looks like Wooden Pencil has been cut.
Pencil is trying to push Shoznes away but Shoznes has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Shoznes controlling the position using the Thai clinch, unloads with a massive knee! Boom! He's out cold and slumps to the floor against the cage! I can't wait to see the slow motion replay of that one!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:42 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Knee). Joseph Shoznes!
A very excited looking Joseph Shoznes made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.