PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Tubo Lard (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Maurício Rua (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Lard's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, I'm Fat. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Lard
vs
Rua

197 cm
24
223 lbs
6 - 3 - 0

191 cm
26
220 lbs
9 - 4 - 0

World class boxer
Insanely flexible

World class boxer
Granite chin

Temporarily Closed For Business

XTREME PWNAGE: Down Under!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Tubo Lard!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Maurício Rua!
The judges for this bout are Ren Mimura, Sosuke Kotani and Hirohito Nitta.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Rua lands with a right hand.
Lard moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Lard fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Rua.
Rua swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
An inside leg kick lands from Lard.
Lard misses with an attempted mid kick.
Rua misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Lard wants to slow Rua down by chopping away at his legs.
Rua throws a body punch but Lard moves out of range.
Rua throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Rua throws an overhand right that lands on Lard's shoulder, as Lard tries to avoid the shot.
Rua pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Rua throws a hook to the side of Lard's head but Lard sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Rua throws a head kick that misses
and Lard counters with a nice uppercut.
Rua takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
A decent looking cross lands there for Rua.
Lard fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Rua has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Rua throws a nice looking combination but Lard bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lard uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Rua.
Rua throws a jab but it's blocked by Lard.
Lard throws a leg kick but Rua sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Rua looks to land a combination but Lard avoids it well.
Rua wants to clinch up but Lard keeps it at a distance.
Lard fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Lard lands a head kick. Rua smiles back at him and beckons him forward.
Rua misses with a body kick.
Tubo Lard seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Lard getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Rua throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Rua takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Lard lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Lard connects with an inside leg kick.
Rua looks gassed!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A head kick misses from Lard.
Lard fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Rua on the side of the head.
Rua pivots, looking for a leg kick but Lard is out of range and Rua settles back down.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lard misses with a wild combination.
Lard lands a nice looking body shot.
Lard defending well as Rua loads up on a big left hand.
Lard chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Lard cracks Rua with a good jab.
Lard changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
A kick lands to the mid section there for Lard.
Lard plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!

It looks like Maurício Rua has been cut.
Lard lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Lard throws a head kick that misses.
Lard throws a series of punches but Rua moves out of range.
Rua takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Lard feints and then cracks Rua's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Rua down.
Rua takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Lard keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Rua on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Lard. Lard obviously looking to wear him down.
Rua misses with a body shot.
Lard is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Lard throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Rua misses with a body kick.
A solid body kick from Lard.
Rua takes a head kick and keeps coming.
Rua blocks a head kick by Lard.
Lard misses with a jab, cross combination.
A big left from Rua misses.
A kick lands to the mid section there for Lard.
Lard thumps Rua with a low kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Rua on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Lard with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Lard fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Rua takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
A lazy left from Lard finds it's target.
Rua throws a jab when Lard was well out of range.
Lard scoring well with a low kick there.
Lard uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Rua has time to react.
Boom, another hit is landed. "You're gunna get knocked out" taunts Lard, as that shot connected.
Rua goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Rua takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Lard throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Lard plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Lard staying out of range there.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Lard throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Lard avoids the body shot from Rua.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Lard.
Lard scores with a kick to the midsection.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Tubo Lard dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Maurício Rua's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the ring so we can get back down to business.

Lard lands a jab to the head.
Tubo Lard is winning the standup battle so far.
Lard connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Lard with a hook.
The crowd cheers as Lard lands an impressive looking overhand right. Rua doesn't seem phased though.
Rua's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Lard checks the leg kick.
Rua takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Both fighters circling a little - Lard finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Lard throws a head kick that misses.
Rua has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Lard.
Lard uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Rua.
Rua throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Lard thuds his shin into the meat of Rua's side.
Lard with a nice cross.
Rua is breathing heavily.
That kick from Lard tenderised Rua's leg. Rua is trying to keep his angry face on.
Rua takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Lard connects with an inside leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lard tries a head kick but it misses.
Lard throws a leg kick which misses Rua's front leg but catches the back leg as Rua tries to avoid it.
Rua on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
The fighters circle momentarily. Lard darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
A nice inside leg kick there by Lard. That's going to slow Rua down.
Lard scores with a shot to the body.
Rua takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Lard lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
Rua chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Lard can pounce on him.
Lard dips to his left and cracks Rua with an uppercut!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Lard moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Lard lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Rua at a distance.
Lard scores with a head kick. Rua tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.
Lard chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Rua on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lard lands a nice looking body kick.
Lard lands a slapping body shot.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by Lard.
Rua has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Lard.
Lard throws a sloppy head kick and Rua moves out of range easily.
A solid body kick from Lard.
Lard moves into range and connects with a jab.
Lard feints and then cracks Rua's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Rua down.
Rua stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Lard.
Lard throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Rua throws a head kick but Lard moves out of range.
Lard lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Rua misses with a double jab.
Lard lands a slapping body shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lard throws a nice outside leg kick.
Rua has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Lard cracks Rua with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Lard is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Rua can do to turn this around?
Lard lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
A chopping leg kick lands by Lard.
Lard lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Lard cracks the inside of Rua's front leg.
Rua on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Lard. Lard obviously looking to wear him down.
Lard throws a shot to the body.
Rua takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Rua tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Lard lands with a nice body kick.
A good leg kick by Lard.
Lard throws a quick inside leg kick.
Lard lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lard throws a nice inside leg kick.
Lard throws a nice outside leg kick.
Lard explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Lard throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Rua.
A jab from Lard finds it's way through Rua's defenses.
A solid leg kick lands there for Lard.
A left and a right from Lard both land. Nice combination.
Lard uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Rua.
Lard scores with a one two! Rua had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.

Rua is rocked!
Lard lands with a thumping leg kick.
Lard scores with a push kick.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Lard throws a nice outside leg kick.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Lard, right into the meat.
Rua on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Tubo Lard dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Maurício Rua's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Lard moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Rua rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Lard counters with a big head kick but Rua shrugs it off.
Lard keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Rua misses with a lunging right hand
and Lard counters with a nice uppercut.
A nice inside leg kick there by Lard. That's going to slow Rua down.
Lard takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Rua wants to clinch up but Lard keeps it at a distance.
Rua throws a leg kick but Lard moved away.
Rua throws a head kick but Lard moves out of range.
Rua has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Lard.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Lard, right into the meat.
Decent striking displayed by Lard there.
Lard cracks Rua with a good jab.
Rua takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Rua tries to clinch up.
Lard lands with a hook. Rua tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Rua with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Lard to score with a decent uppercut.
Lard throws a nice head kick!
Rua is still on wobbly legs! Can Lard finish him?
Lard throws a quick inside leg kick.
Boom! Lard lands a massive head kick that sends Rua crashing into the ropes, followed by a classic face plant on the canvas! He's up to his knees but he's not going to beat the count - this one is all over! Lard is jumping around like a lunatic, extatic with the win!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:20 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Head Kick). Tubo Lard!
Our winner, Tubo Lard, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.