PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Ron Jeremy (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Wiggum Ralph (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Jeremy's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, I'm sexy and I know it by LMFAO. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Jeremy
vs
Ralph

175 cm
27
145 lbs
13 - 3 - 0

180 cm
24
140 lbs
12 - 4 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

SPARTA FIGHTWARE-GTI

Untouchable Fight Gear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 3 - 0, fighting out of London, Ron Jeremy!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Wiggum Ralph!
The judges for this bout are Igor Prikhodko, Ivan Kurochkin and Vladimir Khabensky.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A looping hook to the body misses from Jeremy. Ralph does a little dance to reset his feet.
Ralph swats away the attempt to clinch by Jeremy.
Ralph throws the kick towards the body but Jeremy avoids it.
Ralph tries a head kick but it misses.
Jeremy throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Jeremy misses with a double jab.
A head kick misses from Ralph.
Jeremy ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Jeremy misses the shot to the body.
Jeremy pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
A big left from Ralph misses.
Jeremy misses with a double jab.
Ralph lands with a thumping leg kick.
Ralph throws a low kick but Jeremy avoids it.
Jeremy scores with a body shot.
Jeremy throws a lazy right hand but Ralph sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Ralph cracks a nice hook into Jeremy's ribs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jeremy misses with a low kick.
Jeremy tries a head kick but it misses.
Jeremy moves away from the strike by Ralph.
Nice uppercut lands for Jeremy. That snapped Ralph's head back.
Ralph throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Jeremy.
Ralph thows a left - swing and a miss!
Ralph throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Ralph chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Jeremy scores with a body shot.
Ralph tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Jeremy was well out of range. Poor timing from Ralph.
Jeremy throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Jeremy fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Ralph manages to avoid it.
Ralph lands with a cross.
A head kick by Ralph misses
and Jeremy makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Jeremy is looking to land body kicks.
Nice uppercut lands for Jeremy. That snapped Ralph's head back.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ralph misses with a wild body shot.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Jeremy moves out of range of the body kick from Ralph.
Jeremy uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Ralph.
Jeremy misses with a kick to the body.

Jeremy is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Ralph's half guard.
Ralph moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
Jeremy scoring with some ground and pound.
Both fighters really going for it on the ground here!
Ralph controls Jeremy momentarily but Jeremy frees himself.
Jeremy throwing strikes from guard but Ralph blocks nicely.
Jeremy postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Jeremy wants to pass the guard but Ralph is keeping the position.
Ralph is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ralph looking to control.
Jeremy is looking to work some ground and pound but Ralph has wrist control.
Jeremy looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Jeremy throws a big elbow that misses.

Jeremy thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.
Ralph wants to sweep here but Jeremy controlling him for the moment.
Jeremy postures up in Ralph's guard and throws a big left but Ralph blocks it.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Jeremy trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Ralph has momentary wrist control but Jeremy slips an elbow through the middle.
Ralph is trying to control the position but Jeremy postures up.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jeremy is fighting to break Ralph's control of his arms but Ralph is doing a good job of controlling the position at the moment.
Jeremy trying to control the position from guard on top but Ralph is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Ralph has his hands on Jeremy's head, controlling the position.

The ref stands the fighters back up. Wiggum Ralph was stalling too much, according to the referee.
Jeremy throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Ralph lands a lovely overhand right.
Jeremy checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Ralph moves forwards but Jeremy connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Jeremy throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Jeremy checks the leg kick.
Ralph throws a low kick but Jeremy avoids it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Ron Jeremy dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Jeremy clobbers Ralph with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Ralph scores with a jab to the body.
Jeremy dips to his left and cracks Ralph with an uppercut!
Jeremy misses with a low kick as Ralph jumps back.
Ron Jeremy is winning the standup battle so far.
Ralph fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Jeremy has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Ralph connects with a leg kick. Jeremy looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Ralph ducks under a wild hook from Jeremy.
Jeremy ducks under a wild hook from Ralph.
A head kick misses from Ralph.
Jeremy swings for the body but Ralph moves out of range.
Jeremy throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Ralph sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Ralph pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Jeremy swings for the body but Ralph moves out of range.
Ralph throws a leg kick
and Jeremy counters with a lovely straight right hand!
A nice inside leg kick there by Jeremy. That's going to slow Ralph down.
Ralph attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ralph lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Ralph takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
A bone on bone clash there as Ralph blocks the leg kick.
Jeremy feints and then cracks Ralph's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Ralph down.
Ralph stuffs the takedown attempt from Jeremy. Jeremy gets slowly back to his feet.
Jeremy throws a leg kick but Ralph moved away.
Ron Jeremy seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
The fighters circling - Jeremy throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Ralph throws a looping overhand right but Jeremy ducks down to avoid it.
Ralph gets off balance looking for a body kick
and Jeremy makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Ralph thumps Jeremy with a low kick.
Ralph throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
Ralph moves out of range as Jeremy strikes.
Jeremy moves forwards but Ralph connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Jeremy looks to land a left hand but Ralph moved out of range nicely.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ralph throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Jeremy misses with a low kick.
A looping hook to the body misses from Jeremy. Ralph does a little dance to reset his feet.
Some bone on bone action there as Jeremy checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Jeremy with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Jeremy will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Jeremy takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Ralph on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Jeremy thuds his right hand into Ralph's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Ralph defending well as Jeremy loads up on a big left hand.
Jeremy swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Ralph.
Jeremy uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Ralph.
Ralph with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Jeremy slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Jeremy throws a body kick that misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A slapping leg kick lands for Jeremy.
Ralph connects with a right hand. Jeremy shakes it off.
Jeremy wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Ralph goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Jeremy lands with a good body shot.
A jab from Ralph misses.
Jeremy connects with a body shot that sends Ralph's belly button to the back.
Some bone on bone action there as Ralph checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Jeremy lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Jeremy steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Ralph.
Ralph looks to score with a jab to the body but Jeremy is just out of range.
Jeremy thuds his right hand into Ralph's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Ralph waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Jeremy.
Jeremy swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Jeremy, right into the meat.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jeremy tries to clinch there but Ralph circles away.
Jeremy cracks the inside of Ralph's front leg.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Jeremy misses with a low kick as Ralph jumps back.
Ralph fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Jeremy is out of range.
Jeremy blocks a low kick nicely.
Jeremy misses with an uppercut.
Ralph connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Ralph throws a wild body kick that Jeremy sees coming a mile off.
Jeremy throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Ralph stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Ralph throws a sloppy head kick and Jeremy moves out of range easily.
Ralph throws a combination. Jeremy tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Ralph uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Jeremy.
Jeremy tries to clinch but Ralph is having none of it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Jeremy. Ralph does a little dance to reset his feet.
Ralph moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Ron Jeremy dominated that second round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Ralph on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Jeremy. Jeremy obviously looking to wear him down.

Jeremy closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Ralph tries to throw a body punch but Jeremy avoids it by throwing Ralph back against the cage.
Ralph blocks an uppercut.
Jeremy scores with a shoulder strike.
Ralph trying to stall but Jeremy improves his position.
Ralph misses with a punch to the body.

Jeremy manages to break the clinch.
Ralph throws a feint and then finishes with a kick to the body.
Ralph shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Ralph. Jeremy does a little dance to reset his feet.
Ralph fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Jeremy manages to avoid it.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Ralph lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Jeremy has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Jeremy and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Ralph connects with a body shot that sends Jeremy's belly button to the back.
Jeremy gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Ralph throws a leg kick that misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jeremy feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Ralph's calf.
Nice shot lands for Jeremy.
A slapping leg kick lands for Jeremy.
Jeremy blocks a leg kick.
Ralph on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Ralph takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Jeremy rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Ralph moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Jeremy thuds his right hand into Ralph's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Ralph scoring well with a low kick there.
Jeremy ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Ralph takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
A lazy left from Jeremy finds it's target.
Ralph takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Jeremy moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Wiggum Ralph has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jeremy lands with a cross.
Ralph misses the shot to the body.
Ralph misses with a low kick.
Jeremy connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Ralph's hands.
Nice uppercut lands for Jeremy. That snapped Ralph's head back.
Ralph's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Nice defenses there by Ralph.
Jeremy looks to land a body kick but Ralph moved away.
Jeremy misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Ralph.
Ralph throws a low kick but Jeremy moves out of range easily.
Jeremy moves in looking to clinch but Ralph pushes him off.
Ralph throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Jeremy lands a jab to the head.
Jeremy thuds a left hand into Ralph's body.
The fight stays on the outside here - Jeremy looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Ralph attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ralph tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Ralph throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Jeremy slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Ralph takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Ralph uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Jeremy.
Ralph throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Ralph takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Ralph throws a half hearted mid kick.
Jeremy throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Ralph misses with a body kick.
Jeremy uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.

Ralph is rocked!
Ralph tries a head kick but it misses.
Ralph is still on wobbly legs! Can Jeremy finish him?
Jeremy avoids the body shot from Ralph.
Ralph seems to have recovered his senses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Jeremy ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Ralph moves away.
Ralph rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Jeremy connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Ralph takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Ralph throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Jeremy scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Jeremy lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Jeremy uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Ralph.
Jeremy cracks Ralph with an open hand slap.
Jeremy throws a series of strikes that have Ralph backpedaling.
Ralph swings widly with a right hand
and Jeremy counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Jeremy lands a really nice looking cross but Ralph seems unphased.
Jeremy scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Jeremy looks to land a body kick but Ralph moved away.
Ron Jeremy is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Ralph misses with a hook to the body
and Jeremy counters with a big right hand! Oh Ralph is in trouble here! Jeremy follows up with more strikes and that's it! The ref has stopped it!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:57 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Ron Jeremy!
An out of breath and clearly excited Ron Jeremy thanked SPARTA FIGHTWARE-GTI for their help and support (and free stuff they sent him).