PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Tobias Ahearn (ranked 2738 p4p, 3928 weight class) and Biggus Dickus (ranked 344 p4p, 449 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Ahearn
vs
Dickus

185 cm
19
181
4 - 0 - 1

185 cm
19
182
1 - 4 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent boxer
Heavy handed

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 0 - 1, fighting out of St Petersburg, Tobias Ahearn!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Biggus Dickus!
The judges for this bout are Johanna Lukiainen, Tarja Halkonen and Anni Minnemäki.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Dickus shoots in and drives through. Ahearn sprawls well.
No luck with that takedown attempt from Dickus.
A lazy left from Ahearn finds it's target.

Dickus closes the distance and gets a trip takedown into side control. Ahearn quickly recovers to half guard.

Ahearn actively working from the bottom here.

Ahearn looking for submissions off his back.

Ahearn is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickus pulls his head out easily.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Ahearn is staying active underneath Dickus, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Ahearn on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Ahearn tries to get out of the position.

Ahearn actively working from the bottom here.
Ahearn wants to improve his position but Dickus is controlling well.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickus seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.

Ahearn is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickus pulls his head out easily.
Ahearn on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
Dickus sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Ahearn defending well though.
Dickus thows a huge punch but Ahearn dodges it nicely.

Ahearn is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickus pulls his head out easily.

Ahearn looking for submissions off his back.

Ahearn looking for submissions from an awkward position here.

Ahearn looking for a kimura from the bottom but Dickus passes into side control!
Ahearn is looking to reverse the position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickus wants to control but Ahearn is keeping him busy.
Dickus controls the position from side control.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Dickus trying to control the position but Ahearn is working away.

Dickus is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Ahearn knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.

Dickus is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Ahearn is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.
Dickus tries to score with some ground and pound. Ahearn controls his posture well this time though and the shots don't do any damage.
Ahearn knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Dickus on the ground.
Dickus tries to advance to mount but can't.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ahearn tries to improve position but can't.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dickus throws a knee to the body but it doesn't do much damage.
Dickus has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Ahearn is trying to get back to half guard.
Ahearn is working hard here to advance position.
Dickus throws a strike aimed at the side of Ahearn's head but Ahearn avoids it well.
Dickus fails to land a wild elbow strike.
Dickus has knee on belly and moves into mount.
Dickus can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Ahearn is looking to escape.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickus raining down hammerfists from mount.
Dickus trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Ahearn can't escape the position.

Dickus is in full mount, looking to secure a guillotine but Ahearn is surviving well by controlling Dickus's body position as best he can.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Ahearn tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Dickus controlling the position easily from mount.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Biggus Dickus dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Dickus moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Dickus walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Jab from Dickus.
Dickus lands a nice shot that snaps Ahearn's head back.
Dickus shoots in and drives through. Ahearn sprawls well.

Dickus feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.
Dickus wants to control from the top but Ahearn keeps moving.

Ahearn has his foot on Dickus's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Dickus works his way back into a safe position though.

Ahearn has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Dickus can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Biggus Dickus has got the better of the ground game so far.
Dickus passes Ahearn's right leg, so he's now in half guard.

Ahearn is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickus pulls his head out easily.
Dickus is looking to take a break and control but Ahearn is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Ahearn actively working from the bottom here.

Ahearn looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Dickus performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Dickus trying to control from half guard but Ahearn is working away.
Ahearn is in trouble now - Dickus has advanced to mount!
Ahearn is desperately trying to improve his position but Dickus has a good base and remains in mount.
Dickus has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Ahearn holding onto his opponent's waist for dear life, as Dickus tries to land some strikes to get him to release his grip.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Ahearn is desperately trying to improve his position but Dickus has a good base and remains in mount.
Ahearn definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Dickus tries to control but Ahearn wriggling away.
Ahearn is looking to get to half guard.
Dickus controlling from the full mount.
Dickus prevents Ahearn from getting the reversal.
Dickus controlling from the full mount.
Ahearn really trying hard to get back to half guard here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickus tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
Ahearn really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Ahearn is squirming around, avoiding Dickus's attempts to control the action.
Ahearn keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
Dickus tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
Dickus wants to control the pace but Ahearn is squirming around nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ahearn is trying to escape the mount.
Dickus can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Ahearn is looking to escape.
Ahearn working to try and regain half guard.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Dickus looking to control and managing it successfully.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Biggus Dickus showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Dickus looks to throw the jab but Ahearn is out of range.
Dickus takes one to the chin there.
A looping hook to the body misses from Dickus. Ahearn does a little dance to reset his feet.
Dickus misses with a straight left.
Dickus connects with a leg kick.
Dickus blocks a jab.
Dickus drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Ahearn defends it well.
Biggus Dickus seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Dickus lands with a right hand.
Ahearn just misses with a punch to the body.
Dickus looks to land a right hand but Ahearn moved out of range.

Nice combo by Ahearn! Oh, that's hurt him - Dickus falls to the canvas and Ahearn follows him into side control.

Dickus is rocked!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Ahearn is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Dickus knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.
Dickus is still in real trouble! Can Ahearn finish him?
Dickus struggling a bit here.
Dickus is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Dickus seems to have recovered his senses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickus is sneaking out the side here. He's bucked Ahearn off and has taken his back!
Ahearn tries to break free.
Dickus tries to keep control of the position but Ahearn is staying busy.
Ahearn can't escape the position.
Ahearn staying busy and making it hard for Dickus to control.
Ahearn is really stuck here.
Dickus has good solid back control here.
Ahearn tries to break free.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
I would not like to be Ahearn right now.
Ahearn breaks Dickus's hooks off and manages to turn into his guard.
Dickus working a defensive guard here.

Ahearn drops back for a leg but he's not going to get it - he lets go and Dickus dives on top into guard.

Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Dickus in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.

Ahearn is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Dickus defends well.

Ahearn looking for a guillotine here but Dickus defends easily.
Ahearn keeping moving, preventing Dickus from controlling successfully.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Ahearn looking for subs off his back but Dickus has passed one foot through into half guard.

Ahearn looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.

Ahearn is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickus pulls his head out easily.
Ahearn is looking for a sweep. Dickus is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

Ahearn looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Dickus throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.

Ahearn looking for submissions off his back.
Still in half guard, Dickus seems content to control.
Ahearn is looking for a sweep. Dickus is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Dickus trying to control the pace.
Dickus's corner are shouting for him to control the position and he seems happy to oblige.

Ahearn looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.

Ahearn looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Tobias Ahearn has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Biggus Dickus is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Dickus seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Ahearn does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
We've had a lack of effective grappling in the last minute or so, which could well see a referee standup.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Tobias Ahearn.
I think Dickus has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Johanna Lukiainen scores the fight 28:29
Judge Tarja Halkonen scores the fight 28:29
Judge Anni Minnemäki scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Biggus Dickus!
During a confident post fight interview, Biggus Dickus thanked all his fans. He seemed very genuine when describing how motivated his fans keep him.