PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Optimal Poopypants (ranked 4593 p4p, 4648 weight class) and Alfred Shittybottoms (ranked 511 p4p, 519 weight class). We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Poopypants
vs
Shittybottoms

194 cm
18
250
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ Brown Belt
Brawler
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Brawler
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 1 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of New York, Optimal Poopypants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of New York, Alfred Shittybottoms!
The judges for this bout are Donald Grub, Colin Fotheringham and Richard Clark.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Poopypants fails with the takedown.
Poopypants dives in for a single leg takedown but Shittybottoms sprawls and the fighters end up clinched against the cage.

Shittybottoms has Poopypants pressed up against the cage. He's trying to work for a single leg takedown. Shittybottoms pulls back from the cage and twists to the side, sending Poopypants tumbling to the mat - Shittybottoms dives into Poopypants's guard.
Shittybottoms must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Shittybottoms controlling from the top position.
Poopypants is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Shittybottoms really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Poopypants. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Poopypants working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Shittybottoms doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Oh but Poopypants is tightening it up a little... Shittybottoms has to be careful here... He's got his foot tucked under now, this looks tight! Shittybottoms reacted too slowly and this one could be over in a matter of seconds! YES! Shittybottoms taps out! Nice BJJ there by Poopypants!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:57 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle Choke). Optimal Poopypants!