PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Faget Kunt (ranked 5423 p4p, 3434 weight class) and Bummy Bitch (ranked 475 p4p, 343 weight class). Bitch has chosen lamborghini as his entrance music. Bummy Bitch will no doubt be looking to use his reach advantage to good effect.

Kunt
vs
Bitch

180 cm
25
273
0 - 0 - 0

225 cm
25
270
2 - 2 - 0

Good takedowns
Counter fighter
Cuts easily

Good wrestler
Brawler
Determined

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Faget Kunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 2 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Bummy Bitch!
The judges for this bout are Jeff Smith, Paul Gruel and Roger Salmon.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kunt shoots in for a takedown but Bitch shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.

Bitch gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.

Bitch lands a nice trip takedown into half guard.
Kunt could do with losing a few pounds - he looks very soft around the mid section, to put it politely.
Bitch is thwarting Kunt's attempts to control the position.
Kunt moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

Kunt looking for a guillotine here but Bitch defends easily.

Kunt is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bitch works over Kunt with some ground and pound from guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Bitch drops back for a leg! It's a sloppy attempt though and Bitch jumps back into guard quickly, to retain the dominant position.
Kunt might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

Kunt has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Bitch can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.

Kunt working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Bitch doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Bitch manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Bitch's corner is telling him to maintain position.
It looks like Bitch might be adopting somewhat of a lay and pray gameplan here, which I'm sure won't go down too well with the paying fans in attendance... Or the ring announcers come to think of it.
Bitch wants to control from the top but Kunt keeps moving.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.

Kunt is looking for a triangle but Bitch pushes his legs off easily.

Kunt looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Kunt working a defensive guard here.
Bitch is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
Bitch is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Bitch wants to control from the top but Kunt keeps moving.
Bitch really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Kunt. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
Bitch is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bitch scoring with some ground and pound.

It looks like Faget Kunt has been cut.
Bitch makes a bit of distance and scores with some ground and pound, still in guard.
Bitch lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
Bitch's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Bitch must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Bitch scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Bitch wants to control from the top but Kunt keeps moving.
Bitch controlling from the top position.
Kunt keeping moving, preventing Bitch from controlling successfully.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Kunt has his foot on Bitch's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Bitch works his way back into a safe position though.
Kunt has momentary wrist control but Bitch slips an elbow through the middle.

Kunt escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Bitch gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
Kunt is breathing heavily.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells Bitch's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
Bitch with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
Bitch is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Bitch trying to control but Kunt is working from the bottom.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Bummy Bitch dominated that round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Bitch is looking to clinch.
Bitch misses with a double jab.
Kunt appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Kunt shoots and misses

and Bitch counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.
Bitch keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Kunt's head.
Bitch is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.

Kunt looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Bummy Bitch has got the better of the ground game so far.
Kunt looking to hit a scissor sweep but Bitch is one step ahead there.
Bitch scoring with punches to the head and body.

Faget Kunt's cut is getting worse.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bitch working from the guard for now, landing some ground and pound.
Bitch landing with the ground and pound.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

Kunt has thrown up a leg looking for a triangle. Bitch doesn't defend quickly enough and Kunt has managed to lock this one up! Can Bitch escape?! NO! He's tapping out! Damn, that was a quick submission - congrats to Kunt on a fantastic submission victory.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:57 of round 2, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle). Faget Kunt!
In defeat, Bummy Bitch stepped up to the mic, saying 'Gay ass mf coudlnt do that again '.