PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Joe Clark (ranked 1001 p4p, 42 weight class) and Turd McPherson (ranked 812 p4p, 30 weight class). The key to victory for Joe Clark has got to be keeping the fight on the feet.

Clark
vs
McPherson

195 cm
21
309 lbs
7 - 0 - 0

225 cm
31
292 lbs
16 - 11 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Decent boxing
Good gas tank

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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Joe Clark!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 16 - 11 - 0, fighting out of New York, Turd McPherson!
The judges for this bout are Sosuke Kotani, Hirohito Nitta and Shigeki Fujiwara.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

McPherson decides to change it up a bit and drives through with a nice takedown into half guard.
McPherson is nestled in close to Clark, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
McPherson not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Clark might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
McPherson throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
McPherson thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Clark's head.
McPherson sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Clark defending well though.
McPherson has been taking part in the yoga sessions down at WildBoar's Private Pig Pen. Presumably he's going to look for a slick submission... Or maybe he's looking to avoid one.
McPherson throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
McPherson not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
McPherson not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
McPherson lands with a punch from half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Clark blocking the ground and pound attempt from McPherson.
Clark's coaches at Clark's Champion's have been working on his defensive grappling in preparation for this fight so let's see if he can get out of this tricky position.
Clark controlling the leg, holding on to half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Clark has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. McPherson is working away from the top position though.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McPherson lands strikes from half guard.
McPherson thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Clark's head.
McPherson thows a huge punch but Clark dodges it nicely.
McPherson tries to pass the half guard into mount. Clark knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. McPherson connects with a nice short shot to Clark's temple.
McPherson not landing any meaningful shots this time.
Clark is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

McPherson seems to be looking for submissions.
Clark wants to get back to full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McPherson throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Clark keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Clark is looking to improve his position.
McPherson throws a big elbow that misses, also allowing Clark to regain full guard.
McPherson postures up in Clark's guard and throws a big left but Clark blocks it.
McPherson is stalling in the full guard.
McPherson postures up in Clark's guard and throws a big left but Clark blocks it.
McPherson trying to control but Clark is working from the bottom.
McPherson working some strikes from top position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McPherson advances to half guard.
McPherson controlling the pace.
McPherson throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
McPherson thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Clark's head.
McPherson wants to lay and pray for a moment but Clark keeps working.
McPherson is nestled in close to Clark, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
McPherson thows a huge punch but Clark dodges it nicely.
McPherson throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
McPherson throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
McPherson throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

McPherson seems to be working for a kimura but Clark defends the submission attempt.
McPherson with the ground and pound but Clark uses the opportunity to regain guard.
McPherson postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
McPherson trying to control but Clark is working from the bottom.
McPherson postures up and lands a big shot to Clark's brow.
McPherson content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
McPherson works over Clark with some ground and pound from guard.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Clark keeping moving, preventing McPherson from controlling successfully.
Hammerfist, elbow! yells McPherson's corner. There ya go! There ya go!
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Turd McPherson dominated that round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

McPherson misses with a takedown
and Clark counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Nice sprawl there from Clark as McPherson shoots in.
Clark appears to be looking for a counter punch to the body.
Clark throws a body shot but no joy.
McPherson feints the counter takedown.
McPherson fails with a takedown attempt.
Joe Clark has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Turd McPherson.
McPherson drops his hands momentarily and Clark takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Clark swings for the body but McPherson moves out of range.
The step up in weight doesn't seem to be a problem for McPherson. He's performing admirably here against the bigger man.
McPherson takes a shot right to the bread basket.
McPherson with a lazy takedown attempt
and Clark counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Clark swings for the body but McPherson moves out of range.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
McPherson fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Clark lands a glancing blow to the side of McPherson's head.
Clark slaps away a takedown attempt from McPherson, before circling back to the center of the mat.
Clark lunges at McPherson with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by McPherson's hand.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Clark lands a head shot.
Clark throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.

McPherson closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Clark to the mat! Clark manages to get full guard.
Clark controlling the position.
McPherson connects with a couple of short punches.
McPherson postures up in Clark's guard and throws a big left but Clark blocks it.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as McPherson accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
McPherson trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
McPherson working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Clark's head.
McPherson trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
McPherson cracks Clark with a solid left hand.
Clark preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
McPherson sitting in guard, not really doing much.
McPherson loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
McPherson loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Clark working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from McPherson.
McPherson lands a couple of elbows.
McPherson with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
McPherson throwing strikes but missing.
McPherson advances position into side control!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Clark is looking for a sweep.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Clark taking punishment in the form of punches.
McPherson working the ground and pound.
McPherson looking to punish the body of his opponent here but Clark is avoiding damage well.
McPherson fails to land a wild elbow strike.
Turd McPherson has got the better of the ground game so far.
McPherson throwing strikes but missing, from side control.
McPherson fails to land a wild elbow strike.
McPherson connects with a decent looking elbow from side control that caused Clark some visible discomfort.
McPherson fails to land a wild elbow strike.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
McPherson is working Clark over with some ground and pound from side control.
McPherson misses with an attempted head punch from side control.
McPherson working the body and head with strikes.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McPherson lands a knee to the body and follows it up with some ground and pound to the head. That will wear Clark down.
Clark tries to work a leg under to get back to half guard but McPherson wriggles his own leg back out and remains in side control.
McPherson cracks Clark with a big elbow.
McPherson misses with the ground and pound.
Clark is working to avoid the ground and pound but McPherson connects with a decent elbow.
McPherson lands a nice forearm strike.
This has been an exciting period of action!
McPherson tries to land with some ground and pound but misses.
McPherson working the ground and pound but he's contacting the mat, not the fighter.
McPherson connects with a decent looking elbow from side control that caused Clark some visible discomfort.
McPherson trying to control the position but Clark is working away.
McPherson creates some space and throws a big elbow, but Clark sees it coming and moves his head just enough to avoid the strike.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Turd McPherson showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Clark throws a looping overhand right but McPherson ducks down to avoid it.

Clark tries to sprawl but McPherson drives through with a takedown into half guard.
McPherson thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
McPherson slips a nice elbow through Clark's hands, connecting with Clark's forehead.
McPherson throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
McPherson has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
McPherson scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
McPherson tries to pass to full mount but Clark defends it.
Clark trying to control from the bottom.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
McPherson throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Clark moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
McPherson postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McPherson postures up in Clark's guard and throws a big left but Clark blocks it.
McPherson postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
McPherson distracts Clark with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
McPherson throwing strikes from guard but Clark blocks nicely.
Clark avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
McPherson connects with a couple of short punches.
Clark is trying to keep McPherson in close.
McPherson has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
McPherson with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
McPherson lands a couple of digs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Clark keeping full guard, as McPherson tries to pass.
McPherson distracts Clark with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as McPherson accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
McPherson working from the guard for now, landing some ground and pound.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as McPherson accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
McPherson lands a couple of elbows.
Clark keeping moving, preventing McPherson from controlling successfully.
McPherson throwing strikes from guard but Clark blocks nicely.
Clark is adopting a defensive guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McPherson throws a big right hand that misses.
McPherson throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Clark works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
McPherson is looking to work some ground and pound but Clark has wrist control.
Clark not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.
Joe Clark has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Clark lands with a shot to the body.
McPherson shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Clark pinned against the cage. Clark gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Clark misses the shot to the body.
McPherson tries to work over Clark's front leg with a kick but Clark checks it.
Clark was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
McPherson closes the distance and clinches up with Clark, looking for a takedown. McPherson pushes Clark against the cage but Clark circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
A looping hook to the body misses from Clark. McPherson does a little dance to reset his feet.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Clark misses with a looping right.
McPherson slips a straight right by Clark.
A big left from Clark misses.
McPherson fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Clark manages to avoid it.
Clark thows a left - swing and a miss!
McPherson changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.

McPherson closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Clark to the mat! Clark manages to get full guard.
McPherson looking to pass the guard.
McPherson with a flurry of punches that miss.
Clark has momentary wrist control but McPherson slips an elbow through the middle.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
McPherson postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.

Clark escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. McPherson gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
McPherson with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.

And that's the end of the fight!
Turd McPherson comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got McPherson winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Sosuke Kotani scores the fight 27:30
Judge Hirohito Nitta scores the fight 27:30
Judge Shigeki Fujiwara scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Turd McPherson!
A victorious Turd McPherson thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.