2015-05-01
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GAMMA#467 Kenichi v Tamias

Global Association of MMA, Fight Organization, London
Company profile by Mentor Guru Corleone

Review By Kim Jong-un (102643) "The Screamun Koreaun"

On 7 March, 2015, Mentor Corleone (3503) the owner of the original GAMMA (Global Association of MMA) Organization, presented GAMMA#467 Kenichi v Tamias event for the viewing pleasure of MMA fans around the globe. This event, located at the LA Memorial Colossuseum here in Los Angeles, is proudly sponsored by GREEN!160 based in Las Vegas. Attendance of 93,031 screaming MMA fight fans, was thunderous to say the least and the additional 195,770 Pay-Per-Viewers brought the total to 288,801 MMA fans who saw this event. This event hosted 2 Title fights: one at 155 pounds between Diego Sanchez and Krystian Wojnasiewicz, and the other between Tamias Poochyena and Kenichi Shirahama for the SuperHeavyWeight Championship. This action-packed event had 10 fights resulting in 4 decisions and 6 TKO's. Kim Jong-un, "The Screamun Koreaun" here to walk you through the "thick-necked low-brow survival competitions". All the tendon-twisting, nose-breaking details can be found at http://www.mmatycoon.com/orgeventpublic.php?EvID=823837



185 lbs division fight between Ben Zanotto (174152) and Arstan "The Bold" Selmy (196913)

Zanotto went straight to a takedown and basically started putting a thumpin on Selmy. Selmy worked hard to improve position, but Zanotto had him against the cage and drops in an elbow and follows up with some more strikes and its lights out ! WAAAHAAAA !!

Results: After 3:52 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Strikes). Ben Zanotto!



205 lbs division fight between Lars "Blitzkreig" Voller (183546) and Mertsi "Teufel Jr" Peltola (177993)

Voller clinches and they trade shots resulting in Peltola being cut. And then the beatdown commences. Peltola is blocking a lot of punches...but Voller is landing plenty. Peltola is pinned against the cage and Voller rocks him with an uppercut. Voller pushes Peltola into the cage and when he bounces off the cage, Voller meets him with a stiff elbow that drops him and then piles on more strikes until the referee stops the fight.

Results: After 2:52 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Lars Voller!



155 lbs division fight between Augustus "The Last Prince" Belvedere IV (123199) and Parvati Mellia (184568)

Both men attacking a bit wildly but they are really going at it. Belvedere is mixing in some kicks nicely and Mellia is all fists. They go around and around for a minute or so and then Belvedere knocks Mellia down with a right hand but then waves him back up. Melia stands but hes rocked, and Belvedere's right hand makes short work of a brutal finish and Mellia is out cold.

Results: After 2:36 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Augustus Belvedere IV!



145 lbs division fight between "The Balled Of" Speedy Atkins (175107) "The Whoreson" Lik Alotadik (161997)

With 16 knockouts out of 20 wins I figured this was gonna be a win for Alotadik but Atkins is a strategy fighter with 24 of his 40 fights going all the way to prove his ability to avoid playing the other mans game, and that was the deciding factor in this fight. With the standing fight reasonably close, Atkins clinchwork pulled off the extra points needed to win by outlanding Alotadik, 16 strikes to 5.

Results: The judges saw this fight somewhat differently at 28:30.28:29/28:29 In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Speedy Atkins!



265+ lbs division fight between Jules "Bad Ass Mother Fucker" Winnfield (211191) and Zeus "God King" Leonidas (219424)

Well both men had much to prove in this fight. This was Leonidas debut in the GAMMA organization, and he had won the last 3 of his fights in Contenders Organization so of course he wanted to show he has what it takes to run with the big dogs. His opponent Winnfield despite having a granite chin, has been getting his butt chewed by the big dogs and had lost all 3 of his fights since being signed by the GAMMA organization. So here is the story...Of course someone always gets cut in the 1st minute so with the first punch Winnfield is cut by a jab from Leonidas. Leonidas is mixing his punches up nicely with a few kicks and even a takedown attempt in the 1st minute as Winnfield is playing defense and getting in some counter shots. 2nd minute sees Winnfield go for the clinch and start landing some shots, so Leonidas pulls guard and manages to control Winnfeilds GnP work until the referee stands them up again. Right away Leonidas is cut by a straight right hand. Both fighters are really going at it, but the round ends with Leonidas looking to be the more aggressive. Round 2, The very 1st strike is a head kick from Winnfield that knocks Leonidas down, just to be waved back to his feet. But it looks like Leonidas wasnt hurt so bad and he is landing shots and looking for a takedown. Winnfield attacks and manages to open Leonidas's cut up more. Leonidas goes for a takedown and Winnfield drops his a$$ with a right hand, and when he gets to his feet, Winnfield ends it with another right hand. WAAHAAAAA !!! Thats was an AWESOME fight !!!

Results: After 1:29 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Jules Winnfield! Winnfield was awarded "KO of the night" for the knockout.



265+ lbs division fight between "Top Shelf" Giuseppe Maldini (189076) and Eric Cartman (142643)

Well there was no cut in the 1st minute OR in the 2nd minute, so this fight is already a freak show. Maldini with a granite chin and 16 knockouts out of 17 wins is coming off back to back losses to Tio Malone (182171) and will be looking to re-establish himself. Cartman has knockout power expressed in 16 out of 22 wins being from knockouts, but he also has a plastic chin with 10 KO losses on the books. Anyway, as I was saying this fight gonna be a freak show... and I present the facts to support my theory. Cartman used a new strategy called the "clinch assualt" and he worked it hard with as many clinch attempts as he had standing strike attempts. And IN the clinch he landed as many strikes (4) as Maldine landed TOTAL. Yet Maldini used a new strategy also. I'm gonna call it the "Make it count" strategy. In 5 minutes and 5 seconds he landed only 4 strikes, and one of them cut Cartman and another one knocked him out. End of the freak show. WAA ? HA? HA?

Results: After 0:05 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Kick and Punches). Giuseppe Maldini!



170 lbs division fight between "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka (159898) and "Rip" Rufus McTearson (186694)

Both men coming off a loss, and this being the always interesting matchup of a standing fighter versus a ground fighter, this fight had the excitement promise of a burning barn... So what actually happened? Clinches, Snuka. Takedowns, Snuka. Sub attempts, Snuka. Standing/Clinch strikes, dead even. Ground strikes Snuka had 3 land and McTearson had zero. This fight was awesome for beer sales which I'm told increased 40% during this 3 rounds of bordom. YAWN

Results: The 3 judges saw things a bit differently at 28:29/28:29/27:30 in favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Jimmy Snuka!

FA search of the week, do spin and win if anyone good on the list.

Next was the C0-Main event with a TITLE fight at 155 lbs between Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez (142862) and Krystian "Wojna" Wojnasiewicz (159688)

Can you say "REMATCH"? Oh yeah baby, this was festering and ready to pop like a big swollen zit in the middle of a forehead. Every since January 24th when Sanchez lost the belt to Wojnasiewicz in a Unanimous decision, he has been eating, breathing and sleeping rematch. I heard for relaxation he even has a dartboard with Wojnasiewicz's picture on it. So what happened? Well despite Wojnasiewicz getting 3 takedowns, there was no ground action at all. Sanchez had a slight edge in the clinch war but the standing war was where the action was. Sanchez looked like a fan as he thru nonstop strikes with all limbs totalling 164 strikes thrown with 66 landed. Wojnasiewicz wasn't exactly on vacation either as he windmilled his own 87 strikes with 49 landing. Thinking back to the war they had some weeks back I can say this was not a repeat...but the incredible war they had was more like, "continued". Almost like watching Alien VS Predator i and ll and wondering if there will be a lll. WAAAHAAAAA !!!!

Results: One judge has recent eye surgury or maybe a bad case of blinkitus because the scorecards were 48:48/46:50/46:50 in favor of your winner, by majority decision... Diego Sanchez! Diego Sanchez is the new lightweight champion! This fight was awarded "Fight of the night".



Our final fight of the night is the Main event and is a TITLE fight in the 265+ lbs division between Tamias Poochyena (135965) and Kenichi "The Strongest Disciple" Shirahama (112324)

As you would expect an elite ground fighter like Shirahama is looking for the takedown and the elite standup fighter is throwing shots to keep him away, but after several tries Shirahama manages to get the takedown and then starts throwing ground and pound and mixes in a submission attempt nicely. And just before the round ends, he manages to get full mount and rock Poochyena who survives to the bell. Round 2, Shirahama straight to the takedown but Poochyena shoves him off and gains his feet only to be quickly taken down again. Poochyena wants to get to his feet but Shirahama is controlling him well for a time, but eventually Poochyena makes it to his feet. Once on his feet, Poochyena changes tactics a bit and starts kicking and throwing body shots to slow Shirahama down and the round ends with Poochyena likely taking it. Round 3, Pretty predictable but Shirahama dont get his takedown until the last minute and barely has time to try for a submission. Round 4, Poochyena still kicking and of course Shirahama waits for the right moment and gets a takedown. Poochyena reverses him and then takes a rest until the referee stands them up again, and they go at it until the bell sounds. Round 5, pretty much a copy of previous rounds...Poochyena kicking and Shirahama with a takedown and submission attempt then a standup...end of round. Excellent fight with lots of action.

Results: All 3 judges see the fight the same at 45:50 in favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Tamias Poochyena! Tamias Poochyena is the new super heavyweight champion!



Well MMA fans its been real and its been fun, but it hasn't been real fun....so Im gonna go jump in the pool with some Vegas strippers who invited me earlier...offered to pay me...but I said I would hand with them for free...THIS time. Kim Jong-un, "The Screamun Koreaun" outta here! WAAAAHAAAAA !!!

 

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