MMA Hype Weekly Recap

MMA Hype Promotions (406k), Fight Organization, Las Vegas
Company profile by Jay Lawrence

MMA Hype Promotions Weekly Recap

Owner: James Listerman
Matchmaker: Jay Lawrence
Sponsor: Bloodbath Clothing

Theme: “Please don’t blink… unless you like surprise surgeries.”

Oliver Queen turned into Green Arrow and sniped Zechariah Osborne’s consciousness right before the round 2 bell. KO of the Night? More like Teleportation of the Night.
Xander Scott decided triangles aren’t just for geometry class, tapping out Norman Jalisco mid-round 2. Probably still wearing his gi to brunch.
Kali Lawrence sliced Rayshard Flash’s face open so badly the doc said, “Yeah… that’s enough facial rearrangement for today.”
Christian Carter vs Immanuel Ali gave us a gritty war that went the distance—FOTN and a judges’ reminder that sometimes violence is a team effort.
Demetrius Cordova hit fast-forward on Eddie Odom’s career with a round 2 demolition.
Maki Homma locked in a kimura faster than it takes to mispronounce “Yosuke Yoshida.”
Dakota Jones made Joey Castillo question life, the universe, and everything with a first-round KO.
Other victims included Alexi Peres (submitted by strikes? Oof.), Enrique Stevens (Hodges gave him a head-start to dreamland), and Viktor Kozlov (unanimous regret).

Theme: “Every fight ends with someone horizontal.”

Armando Greenlaw showed up for a title fight and still clocked out faster than most people finish a sandwich. KO at 0:22 of round 2. Absolute savagery.
Borislav Yevgraf looked at Killian Holloway and said “no thoughts, just fists.” TKO in round 2.
Kyle Calderon summoned the spirit of Mortal Kombat and high-kicked Greg Gaggenwanker into another timeline. Fatality.
Maxwell Chang twisted Fabrice Trausch’s arm like it owed him money. Sub of the Night, naturally.
Alexander Njord vs Tookie Williams went the distance… then ended violently. Classic!
Shandare Regeemen KO’d Asher Ax in 16 seconds. Blink and Asher’s chin was already in the audience.
Jimmy John delivered sandwiches and KOs, starching Dixon Cider in round 1.
Bonus carnage: Lamar Bright, Yon-Seo Yoon, Victor Torrente Torrente—all victims of righteous violence.

Theme: “Tap, snap, or nap—your call.”

Robert Melia, Otto Kolan, Gorath DeeStroy, Joe Biden (yes, really), and Don Cortez were all applying armbars and chokes like it was open mat night at a doomsday cult.
Nano Grippy lived up to his name and ripped Diminutive Jackson’s shoulder into another time zone. Sub of the Night.
Dram Macallan vs Big Guy went the distance and gave us all an existential crisis on cardio. FOTN worthy.
Danger Dobbie and Torso Junior looked good, but let’s be honest: everyone’s still emotionally recovering from “Nano the Destructor.”
Gromli Grumblegut may have a name straight out of a tavern in Skyrim, but he triangle-choked Lyric Mann like a bard who hit the wrong note.

Theme: “One kimura, two triangles, and an accidental nap.”

Spud Grubbins blinked and tapped Gabe Utsecks in 23 seconds via kneebar. Sub of the Night AND he called out “this mothafucka gonna get my metal!” ICON.
Olaf Koks vs Ashton Short was a chess match in a cage, and FOTN because they actually made guard work entertaining.
Kevin Hart (not that one) armbarred Robinho Junior and probably asked afterward, “Are we done yet?”
Tres Sulvar reclaimed a title by laying on Lehel Bartasz and whispering lullabies for 15 minutes straight.
Bone Breaker decisioned Kevin Durant in a fight where neither man was broken, and sadly no basketballs were involved.
Christine St. Georges won by smothering Montoya with polite Canadian jiu-jitsu.
Honorable mentions: Paul Crewe, Carson Tully, Magomedov, and Mukunzi out-snoozed their opponents into losing decisions—and probably inspired some ref yawns in the process.

Editorial Staff
Tycoon Times Discussion

MMA Tycoon
MMA Chat Room
MMA Forum