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 HWP292: Ankle vs. Baramari! PREVIEW
What's cracking crackers? Sorry for the tardiness of the preview but I am working harder than a child protection worker in the Vatican City. The important thing is that I am here for you, you know that don't you? As per usual we have a red hot card coming at you courtesy of Heavyweight Prize Fighting and as per usual usual some of the biggest names in the business are featured on it. As per usual usual usual I'll be giving you the run down of the 4 main fights of the event but I shall also be bringing you K-Rad's kick ass tips. I didn't actually check to see how my tips last week ended up, hopefully you jokers got rich off of my genius, if not... your own fault for listening to me.
"Tim" Tiny McGee vs. Matt "The Jew" Mutt
Boxing fans have been salivating at the prospect of seeing world class pugilists "Tim" mcGee and "The Jew" Mutt go toe-to-toe with a big of bit of kickboxing thrown in for good measure. Both men are sensational with their hands which is evidenced by both men having all of their wins come via KO. Mutt is the lighter and older fighter and had his 3 fight win streak put to an end in his last appearance so he'll be keen as mustard to turn that around whereas "Tim" is going strong with 2 in a row and will be keen to make it 3 tonight. I wouldn't expect this fight to go to ground but with McGee proving he has the far superior chin Mutt may well be going through all of his options and if he did decide to he would probably have what it takes to get the fight down and score a submission win. As mentioned though, I wouldn't expect this to happen and I expect the two men to stand and bang where McGee should take out the KO because, as his fighter bio says, "I fuck people up for a living".
"The Divine Tragedy" Tristan Alighieri vs. Berry "Snuff Box" Fulcher
To keep running with the standup theme we have "Divine Tragedy" Alighiero, lesser known brother of Dante, as he takes on "Snuff Box" Fulcher, possibly named as such due to his tendency to rub himself under other men's noses. "Snuff Box" has the standup advantage here, although both men box very competently, but with KOs being their modus operandi I wouldn't be thinking that Alighiero's ground superiority will be coming into play. Alighieri has a solid 23lbs more weight than Fulcher, so the option is there for the takedown but with Fulcher having shown in the past that it is very possible to knock him out I'd be expecting "Divine Tragedy" to try his luck standing. This should be a fairly close fight but I think Fulcher's Thai skills will allow him to take the win, possible by KO but I am leaning more towards a judges decision being required.
"Boran" Muay Thai vs. "Warpath" James Proudstar
Co-Main Event!
Two of HWP's favourite sons prepare to go head to head as "Boran" Thai and "Warpath" Proudstar meet for a 2nd time. The last time was back in HWP219 when Proudstar unleashed a cut TKO victory upon Thai at 4:35 of Round 1. "Boran" will be itching to redeem himself from this loss but being 22cm and 25 or so pounds lighter it will be a difficult task for him to achieve. If you take into account that Thai's skin appears to be made of tissue paper then the task is almost insurmountable although he is a quality fighter in his own right with fantastic kickboxing and a knack for timing hand and feet combinations I am not expecting him to win tonight. "Warpath" has shown his high kicks and heavy hands are to be feared and I expect that he will remind Thai why that is tonight when he takes another KO win. Probably a doctor's stoppage once more!
Fedor A million ankle vs. "Dreamboy" Bob Baramari
Main Event!
Are you really surprised that Ankle is headlining yet another event? The man certainly stays active! Tonight he is up against Baramari, the "Dreamboy", and another long time veteran of the MMA world. Between these two men they have a total career of 94 professional fights to their names and in the case of Ankle at least, I would be expecting many more to come. Ankle is known for his world class muay Thai, backed by massively solid wrestling to keep the fight where he likes it. "Dreamboy" is not as impressive on paper but he has deceptively heavy hands as his 18 wins by KO will testify. Something else deceptive about Baramari is that despite having 21 career losses, 14 of these have gone to a decision so he showns huge chin tenacity and the ability to go the distance which will be necessary if he wants to have a chance against the devastation that Ankle is known to cause. With 10cm extra height Baramari may get a bit more leeway with his striking but I am still expecting Ankle to notch up another professional win via knock out.
That's it for the previews so let's get down to the gambling! Here are K-Rad's Kickass Tips, follow them at your own peril and remember the number after my predicted winner represents how confident I am in my prediction:
Assassin vs. D: D (6)
West vs. Butterbritches: Butterbritches (6)
Li vs. Shooter: Li (3)
Silva vs. Dragonovish: Dragonovish (7)
Brown vs. Yrttiseppa: Brown (3)
Cong vs. MPumbu: MPumbu (5)
McGee vs. Mutt: McGee (3)
Alighieri vs. Fulcher: Fulcher (5)
Thai vs. Proudstar: Proudstar (6)
Ankle vs. Baramari: Ankle (6)
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