2021-09-09
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Eddie Bjornsson vs Noah Anderson 2 - Press Conference

Event Preview: BLAZE BROTHERS 3
BLAZE BROTHERS
2021-09-10, Las Vegas, Sparta's Palace
Author:Blaze King

 Eddie Bjornsson vs Noah Anderson 2 - Press Conference

Live on Blaze Brothers 3 (9-10-21) in the 7000 capacity arena, Sparta's Palace

                                                                                                                                      

https://ibb.co/NSbMTfN - Picture of press conference

Blaze King : 

This is the Eddie Bjornsson vs Noah Anderson 2 Press Conference

I'll start the first question to the challenger, Noah Anderson

What adjustments have you made since the first fight with Bjornsson?

Noah Anderson: 

Steroids, lots and lots of steroids. Also, consumption of Grumpy Bastard tears.

Eddie Bjornsson: 

You still there Blaze King? Looks like he may have fallen asleep listening to your boring chat

Bjornsson stands up and shakes Blaze King awake

Noah Anderson: 

Think your stank made him uninstall discord

Eddie Bjornsson: 

Bjornsson on his way back to his seat bumps Anderson and he falls into the press table

Noah Anderson: 

Bjornsson ate too many whoppers, can't even fit between the isles. Fat cbomb.

Eddie Bjornsson:

What’s that? I can’t hear you from up there you groot looking motherfucker

Noah Anderson: 

Your wife heard me just fine, weird. I'll send over some cue tips to get the gunk out of those hairy ears

Blaze King: 

Question for Eddie Bjornsson

Noah Anderson: 

Use small words, I heard he isn't the brightest lightbulb in the room

Eddie Bjornsson:

That’s weird. Your wife heard me likewise after I humped you in our first fight and then humped her after

Blaze King: 

You are obviously a great wrestler and have used that in your favor for many of your fights, is the gameplan the same this time around?

Noah Anderson:

You got lucky to open a battle wound I got while muff diving on your missus. Do tell her to trim that bush, it's growing thorns

Eddie Bjornsson

Last time we fought, I dominated Anderson everywhere. Dominated on the feet and then dispatched on the ground. No matter where the fight goes I’m confident I am better than him

Blaze King: 

What is your response to that Noah?

Noah Anderson:

If landing 5 body shots(which were obviously meant to grope them abs) is "domination", then sure, he "dominated"

TD spamming won't work this time around, believe dat

Eddie Bjornsson

Anyone as malnourished as you are would have “abs”

Bjornsson proceeds to rip his shirt off like a caveman and unveils a shiny six pack

Noah Anderson:

Anyone as gay as you are would try to touch em

Eddie Bjornsson

These are abs!

Noah Anderson:

No thats stomach hair. Not as bad as your wives though.

 

The crowd goes wild as both fighters are showing off their heavyweight bodies. Not bad for some 265lbers

Blaze King:

Ok, question for both fighters

What is it about your opponent that makes you hate them?

Eddie Bjornsson:

Apart from the fact that he’s a complete asshole, the fact that he copied my facial hair. When we used to train together in Nicaragua he was clean shaven and decided to rock a beard soon after. Coincidence, I think not

Blaze King:

Wait a minute, you two used to train with each other?

Bjornsson digs out of his pocket a beard trimmer and chucks it towards Anderson

Here, in case you have a change of heart

Blaze King:

Tell us a little bit about you two training with each other?

Eddie Bjornsson:

I’ll let him explain why he moved to Australia

 

Commercial break... coincidently it shows 2 shirtless fat guys fighting in a Coca-Cola advertisement

Blaze King:

Ok we are back

We are up to you used to train with Bjornnson in Nicaragua and why you left to go to train in Australlia?

Noah Anderson:

Kangaroos make fierce sparring partners, unlike my whopper eating opponent

Blaze King:

So, did you and Bjornsson have sparring sessions?

Noah Anderson:

If you mean him chasing me around, trying to grab my left the whole round sparring, then yes

Eddie Bjornsson:

Here’s a photo Noah sent me of the kangaroo he used to “spar” with

Noah Anderson:

I think you mixed it up. This was the one we grilled and ate

Eddie Bjornsson:

Yeah that’s right I used to manhandle you, you can barely balance on those twig legs

Noah Anderson:

Your wife compliments me on my 3 legs all the time, so they're good enough for her!!!

 

Eddie proceeds to stand up, tip the table over in a hulk-like fashion and squares up to Noah. Leprechauns start storming the room and a close up magician begins to perform

Noah Anderson:

....well?....I see the leprechauns....so where's Connor?!?!?!

 

and out of nowhere - Conor McGregor sporting his traditional suit attire and notorious walk, plonks a bottle of his signature whiskey on the floor in front of the shattered table

the close up magician was in fact Conor McGregor the whole time, the crowd burst into a raucous of applause and fight bursts out amongst a select few of each team

Eddie Bjornsson:

Conor owes me a favour so I called him up. He’s gonna watch me whup your arse after I devour a few more whoppers

Noah Anderson:

His whisky is horse piss, which is exactly what I think of Conor himself, as well as your chances to beat me

Conor proceeds to stand on the tipped over table and hurls abuse at Noah. He then manages to convince the crowd to mimic him in carrying out some form of Irish Dance / Loser dance in the direction of the angry Noah

 

Blaze King: 

 

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