2018-09-30
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Fight Club

Ultimate Pit Fighting (345K+), Fight Organization, New York
Company profile by Dale Saw

Hello MMA fans around the tycooniverse my name is Jacob Wheelman and this is MMA Weekly. Today I am able to sit down with Dale Saw of the UPF franchise who has now opened a brand new org in New York for the little guys. It's a no training just right down to who has the better natural talent. But let me not spoil too much for you. I'll start by telling you that I flew out to New York last week and was able to ask Dale Saw a few things. This wasn't your typical interview... When I arrived at the headquarters of Fight Club, which is located in the basement of some run down business, I was greeted by a rather large man that looked like he had just been in a bar fight. The place smelled of sweaty men and ball sacks. I thought I could smell puke. But before I could really soak in the image the large man said "Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! Third rule of Fight Club: if someone yells “stop!”, goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time. Sixth rule: the fights are bare knuckle. No shirt, no shoes, no weapons. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight." I was just kinda taking in the whole environment when... wait... did he just say I have to fight? "I understand that but I'm just a reporter, and I'm..." But before I could finished he cut me off saying "rules are rules. And rules state you have to fight. Now we got Fred he's quick but doesn't hit that hard. Or there's Big Tommy..." He was continuing to name off possible opponents and all I could think of was "What have I gotten my self into?" I tried to get myself out of it but it looked like I was locked into it somehow. I decided that Rusty, a 62 yr old vacuum salesman with only one eye(I figured this would be the easy way out), would be the best bet I had at stopping the fight before it happened. But Rusty was more than willing to get in the cage with me. Which, proved to be far worse for me than my opponent. I thought with him having only one eye I'd take it easy on him, but it was clear within the first 30 seconds that I was clearly out matched. I don't remember the entirety of the fight but I remember thinking that I wished he would take it easy as he repeatedly punched my left eye. All in all it was actually a fun night. And anyone with some extra energy or just something to prove, maybe you just wanna punch someone in the face. Either way get your ass over to the newest Fight Club in New York and bust your knuckles on someone's face. So, I lost my first fight at Fight Club. But, I don't think it'll be my last and maybe I'll fare better in the next.

 

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