Dave Ysengrin Interview

Fighter profile of Dave Ysengrin by Callum McGregor

Interviews with Jim What. 

What: Joining us now is Heavyweight title challenger Dave Ysengrin. Dave, what has been the keys to success for you thus far in your 3 fight career?
 
Ysengrin: As cliche as it might sound, it's believing in myself. I know i have the power to knock anyone out and I go in there expecting just that. I am gifted with a great physique unlike most of these McDonald eating lumps in the division but then again i can't blame them if it's all they can afford.
 
What:  You have become known as somewhat of a knockout artist already. Is this something you specifically train?
 
Ysengrin:  It all dates back to my youth. A good ol' scrap of fisticuffs at Eaton has allowed me to work on my boxing technique. I may not be the best boxer but I bring the best fight, I have said before these poorer folk fight for money not for pleasure and that gives them holes in their games.

Whereas i do it for the thrill. I tried helping a few in the gym I am stuck in on the Island but they don't listen to me so I knock them out.
 
What: There's one question on everyone's minds; Is Dave Ysenrgin a true member of the Ysengrin clan?
 
Ysengrin:  I only took my biological father's name to get more hype. Yes i am a true member but that Kraut has not done anything for me in my life other than ejaculate inside my mother's vajayjay.
 

What: Tell us about your story. You were born to Knut Ysengrin, whom you say has had no impact on your life. How have you ended up in a position of wealth in England?
 
Ysengrin: 9 months before i was born, there was a local MMA tournament near Hampshire. My mother begged her Lord father if she could attend this brutal tournament so she could see poor people fight to amuse the esteemed folk. She was smitten with one of these fighters who was my father, Knut. He buggered off after that 1 passionate night to continue fighting around the world.

I was raised as the grandson of one of England's lords and my mother was married off to the highest bidder so to speak. Knut came to see my just before my 25th birthday, he told me the story of his mediocre career as a fighter and wanted to train me to be better. Now i refused him and packed up my belongings and went to the Island. The only thing i stole was his last name and my true name shall not be revealed.
 

What: So you feel like by having a successful mixed martial arts career, staring with becoming the Highland Challengers champion, would show your biological father that you're better than he ever was?
 
Ysengrin:  He never received a title shot, he is a bum by all standards. I'm not in this to be better than him though, he is just an inconvenience.
 

What: Have you had much contact with your brothers?
 
Ysengrin:  Some of them, the ones that share my hatred for our father. But most of my brothers are ungainly boors and i avoid them and do not speak. Giacomo and Cingeto i get along with, they know how to live.
 

What: Well it's a fascinating story which will only grow with experience in mixed martial arts. Thanks for talking with us Dave and good luck in your championship match.
 
Ysengrin:  Thank you for having the most populat HW fighter with you again Jimmy old boy. Woody Forrest, keep your head tucked in and i will uppercut you, try one of your shitty takedowns and i will leave you face first on the floor, try striking with me and i will leave you face down ass up. So make this a good fight, one the fans will enjoy and not you trying to hump my leg.

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