The MMA Today - Bobby Haley

Fighter profile of Bobby Haley by Jack LaBear

Hello everyone, Welcome to The MMA Today Show, and I'm Phil Conners. This week we will be spending some time with Bobby Haley; Bobby is a very popular fighter that is well know in Hilo and is now looking to make a name for himself here in Los Angeles. Let's hear it for Bobby "Smashface" Haley.

[Bobby enters the stage wearing bright orange spandex pants and a white muscle shirt]

Phil: Welcome to the show Bobby. Boy, that's quite an outfit. It's a little loud, isn't it?

Bobby: You like it? I can hook you up with my designer. [stands up and twirls]

Phil: No I think I'll pass Bobby. I only wear suits. [Phil moves his chair back a little] So Bobby, the fans in Hilo are very familiar with you, but here in LA you are pretty much unknown. So, why don't you tell us about yourself?

Bobby: What do you wanna know, skip?

Phil: It's Phil. Well for one, are you ever going to come out of the closet?

Bobby: I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about.

Phil: OK, moving on. So when your not fighting, what are some of the things that you like to do? What are your hobbies and interests?

Bobby: Well, skip, I loooove to shop. So, theres a good chance you'll find me at the mall. And, my biggest hobby is doing makeovers on my friends. In fact you could use a makeover, highlight those rosy cheeks. Why not shoot over to my place after the show?

Phil: Ok, I guess I'm skip for today. And, thanks for the offer but I think I will be doing something else. Anything else. We know that you did a lot of charitable work over in Hilo with children's organizations. And, that has made you a hero to many children. So tell me, who is Bobby Haley's hero?

Bobby: That's an easy one. Liberace, hands down. And man oh man [ Bobby makes a "limp wrist" hand gesture] could he play the piano. And his clothes, my goodness.

Phil: [scoots his chair away from Bobby a little farther] Ok, let's talk a little bit about fighting, since this is a MMA show [chuckles.] Now your last fight in Hilo was kinda disappointing. You were favored to win and was actually ahead in the fight but Kibbe Sly tapped you out in the second. What went wrong?

Bobby: I actually really enjoyed that fight. I think I was enjoying myself too much. I got distracted. I mean Kibbe is quite a man. And his muscles... [Bobby looks like he is remembering a good dream then smiles] I wanna fight him again.

Phil: Well I guess that's possible. You could always call him out on Hilo's smack thread. Now you enter LA as a possible contender for the title. Do you feel that it is possible for you to win the belt?

Bobby: I feel that it is more than possible. I feel it is guaranteed to happen. There is no one in the UPF-LA that can keep me from wrapping up on them and forcing them to tap or go to sleep. I will break limbs if I have to.

Phil: Now that's the Bobby that I expected to have on the show today [chuckles.] Do you think you will be fighting for the title right off? Or, how long do you think it will take?

Bobby: Well, if I am not mistaken, Mr. Sanders is going to have the top pound for pound fighters in each division go for the belt. So, no I will not be fighting for the title right out of the gate. But, it shouldn't be long before I earn my shot.

[Bobby winks at Phil and Phil scoots his chair back further.]

Bobby: Where ya going?

Phil: Actually, we're both going to be going because we are all out of time. We have about thirty seconds left, it's all yours Bobby, anything goes?

Bobby: Well if anyone watching today in LA needs a makeover, you can reach me at softhandsbob@gmail.com. And thanks for your time, skip.

Phil: Alright folks we are completely out of time for this week. Don't forget to join us next week, same time, when we will be interviewing Mauricio "Pitbull" Calvancante, one of the best ground fighters in the game. If you can't be there don't forget to set your DVR because you won't want to miss it. 'til then this is Phil Conners. And don't forget, don't submit.

[As Phil exits the stage he pretends to stick his finger down his throat and makes a gagging sound]

Authors:

Phil Conners - Michael Sanders

Bobby Haley - Alan Maynard

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