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"Man, I just woke up and am now ready to release the gate figures and results from last night's event" Jack Walian, the holmgang CEO, swashbuckler, handwrapswrapper, spit bucket holder and lighting technician stated in a press conference earlier today.
When told it was Wednesday, NOT Tuesday, the visible still hungover Walian excused himself with having taken one too many of the new local favorite holmgang cocktail.
When pressed on the contents of this new official Holmgang drink Walian became unspecific and vague, but rumors say that it contains a liberally applied amount of vodka, and a highly flammable, yet unknown Russian liquid, some unnamed sources claim that this liquid was acquired through some dodgy Russian military contacts. And it has to be mentioned that the explosions heard after the event, are being attributed to this drink being dropped to the floor by unconfirmed reports.
During the short press brief Walian stated that "The PR department has every reason to be happy with themselves" not mentioning the fact that he is the one running the PR department of course, that would be tacky.
That being said he does have a point, a full thirteen hours before the event a grummy looking document promised cheap beer, blood and explosions. And due to the reputation of Wild bob's bar to deliver on all three accounts a stunning 625 people showed up to get drunk and watch someone's skull get caved in.
Walian was modest about this event and claimed that "This was our warm-up show if you will" reporting a 5000$ loss on their first event, yet he was very adamant in saying that their upcoming events would be huge financial successes, and that Holmgang's investors had no reason to fear for their money.
The fights themselves were also spectacular according to Walian, even though he earlier claimed that "all I remember from last night, uuuh, monday, is somebody's tooth lodging itself in my arm rest, somebody puking on my new leather shoes and a referee shouting 'STOP, PLEASE STOP, OH MY GOD STOP' when confronted with this fact however, the offending journalist was tossed out of the press confrence by what can only be described as a walking, talking brick wall and some muffled squelches were heard from outside the hotel room.
Now the first fight was highly anticipated among harcore MMA fans, as the former legend Ripp Arrm was returning from retirement after a five year layoff from professional fighting.
He was facing off against Borre Oppeboen, the finnish russian combat veteran with 28 fights under his belt, who was also coming off a long stint away from MMA, focusing on his remaining brain cells after being on the receiving end of nine (t)ko losses.
Now most people had Ripp arrm as their favorite, an experienced veteran who is a former top three middleweight? No way he could possibly lose to a guy struggling to keep a positive record, was the contention in the room right before the fight.
But they were all proven wrong by Oppeboen, who took Arrm down and demolished him with ground and pound, the former p4p great with 11 submission victories had nothing to show for when taken down by the Finnish monster in front of him. The fight went to a decision, with most of the action on the ground with Oppeboen on top, a deserving decision win for the RC veteran.
The second fight were two rookies barely out of their first training camp.
Both had one fight, and both had one victory, while Vort Under had won his first fight via submission, CJ Aldeberg had grinded his way through his first fight earning a close decision.
Aldeberg who has a purple belt in BJJ and a decent boxing background was tipped as the favorite in this fight, and the bookmakers were not proven wrong, as Aldeberg dominated the fight, landing takedowns and strikes at his will. While he domianted it up until the third round, Aldberg started to feel the pressure as Under, who was breathing like a walruss at this point charged at him and put on an onslaught of submission attempts. Unfortunately, he was neither successful nor able to control the position, and when they once again found their way to the mat Aldeberg grounded and pounded Under to near consciousnesses forcing the ref to stop the fight.
The next fightalso had the underground MMA fans buzzing, the 5-0 Bo Johnson was taking a step up in competition after winning a local tournament, and facing off against the 3-1 simon garfunkle.
The fight was tipped to hit the mat, as they had in their combined nine fights won seven fights by submission.
Garfunkle who holds a brown belt in BJJ was tipped as the heavy favorite, mostly due to his grappling experience, but this night pure BJJ was put to the test against Bo Johnson's excellent submission wrestling pedigree.
After failing a leg lock from guard Johnson who found himself on his back, wasted no time in diving for another submission locking up an inescapable triangle choke, forcing garfunkle to tap earning himself the submission of the night bonus in the process.
The fourth fight had two nearly blank pages facing off against each other, tweny-year old Rocco Kesselring made his professional debut versus submission wrestlerHoratius Cocles whose only fight had ended in a quick and destructive knockout with Cocles on the receiving end.
But Cocles had no plans to lay down and cry just for loosing some brain cells, in his Holmgang debut he put on a grappling clinic getting a judo takeown to side control, acquiring the mount and slapping on a guillotine and walking out of the cage in a little less than one minute.
The Co-Main event featured Paul Cicero another former great looking to return to his winning ways against Jaromir Jag a remarkable veteran of over fifty fights, remarkable due to the fact of having won every, single, victory, by desision, and beign finished twenty-four times in his career.
This fight went as expected with Cicero demolishing Jag with ground and pound not one minute into the fight.
The main event was a completely different story, as the Russian veteran Konstantin Khavin took on the Finnish Voitto Vekkiotsamo.
Both fighters had won a majority of their fights via knockout, and the fight was literary a house on fire, due to someone knocking a holmgang cocktail to the ground.
The two warriors did not care however and charged at each other neither man taking a step down and making it an excellent muay thai match rather than an MMA fight.
One could argue that the home crowd favorite Voitto Vekkiotsamo was winning the fight, landing more strikes, completely dominating the second round and being the aggressor, but nobody will remember that.
All they will recall after this fight is Khavin all of a sudden exploding in the clinch and knocking Vekkiotsamo out, creating an uproar in the crowd as their Finnish Hero bounced off the mat. Forcing Khavin to flee the ring as several "fans" started throwing exploding drinks at him.
So there you have it folks, Holmgang's warm up event before they start their first season of what promises to be an explosive and highly intoxicated affair, made not any less dangerous considering the drunk captain at the wheels.
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