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MMATycoon

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http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/jbistlin/headlines/251.jpg

 

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/jbistlin/headlines/252.jpg

 

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/jbistlin/headlines/255.jpg

 

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/jbistlin/headlines/258.jpg

 

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/jbistlin/headlines/263.jpg

 

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/jbistlin/headlines/267.jpg

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5 pounds? Well damn don't let any dwarfs jump on a trampoline near her.

 

Makes you wonder how retarded that man must have been to call to cops for some missing bacon. He's wife probably was like "Damn those burglars, thank God they didn't take the laptop, the tv and my jewellery."

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I just tried to find the one about the woman who thought her brains were falling out but couldnt find it anywhere :P

Yeah I'm looked for something as well. A Belgian newspaper "Marie X has aids but she stays positive"

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I just tried to find the one about the woman who thought her brains were falling out but couldnt find it anywhere :P

 

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (The actual AP headline)

 

Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the backof her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from theheat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

 

 

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WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (The actual AP headline)

 

Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the backof her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from theheat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

Hahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! That's so funny.

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WOW

 

:suicide_anim:

 

 

 

you'd think the pain would be a LITTLE more unbearable if you'd actually been shot in the head, and after an hour or so of "Holding" your brains in, don't you think you'd realize you should really be dead, but aren't?

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yea back then that is true but now a days it is flipped it is a black guy thing it a throw back to the old school mobsters movies like the Untouchables, and the original scarface (not the one with Al Pacino)

 

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