Haraksha

Gary Kaigax: That's a lot of MDC talk for a guy living in an SDC world. You're still playing with source book 1 and I'm all the way through the Megaverse. You certainly have spent a lot of time bantering. I've spent that same time winning. Come this clash of titans, my AC is going to be way too high for you to penetrate, but my crit range is about as wide as your ass is going to be when I'm done ramming my dice case up it.

Gary Kaigax: I weighed 280 pounds at fight time, the same I weighed in my superheavy wins, which I remind you knocked a heavily favored opponent straight out of the division. I'm saying that I don't need to change my game. It's already perfect.

Gary Kaigax: I'd like to dedicate this win to Andrew Trill. He felt the need to mock my lack of submissions so I decided to slap on a kimura tonight. I've got something special waiting for when I finally get on top of you.

Gary Kaigax, coming off a brutal first round knockout of Masaaki Shikuk, is preparing for a challenge from up-and-comer Jatoshi "Toshi" Kazukaba. We at Best of the Middle[/i] magazine sat down with Gary during one of his legendary training sessions.[/i] Best of the Middle: Tell us Mr. Kaigax, what has your training been like for this fight? Gary Kaigax: Well, it's been intense. For a brief period, I thought I would be jumping weight to take on Andrew Trill in a true battle of honor, but DIFO put an end to that. Anyway, I'll be coming in pretty big for this fight because of that. I'll probably just barely make weight, but it's nothing to be concerned about. BOTM: Tell us about the feud with Andrew Trill and why DIFO put an end to that fight. GK: Well, they didn't put an end to that fight. They just put it on hold. They want us to focus on our respective weight classes for the time being, and assuming we keep relevant, we'll get a super fight down the road. BOTM: It seems a little ridiculous to be throwing around words like super fight this early, don't you think? GK: Every fight with me is a super fight. Sometimes the competition just doesn't realize it. BOTM: And this fight with Toshi, this is a super fight? GK: I guarantee it will be on every highlight real for the next decade. This will go down as the fight where everyone knew that I was the future of this division. BOTM: But this is only your first fight at this division. GK: Legends have to start somewhere. Unfortunately for Toshi, my legend starts with him waking up in a hospital. He's just lucky I can't bring my +9 boots of Newb Kicking into the cage. I'll have to make do with my natural strength bonus. BOTM: Well, I look forward to seeing fireworks this weekend. GK: Wizards make fireworks. The Dungeon Master makes corpses.

I have always felt that Mickey was a cherry poptart because he is pink and gooey. And don't even get me started on the frosting.

Alright, Kaigax respects the promotion's wishes and will stay at Heavyweight for the time being. I am going to mess some guys up there for sure.

The last thing I pulled out of was your mom.

I haven't confirmed this with Gary, but I'm pretty sure we'll take the fight. He's busy with a Battletech campaign and hates to be disturbed. Kaigax likes to keep people guessing. How do you gameplan for a guy that has deadly fists and an unknown ground game? If you get lucky, you'll crit fail right into a double KO.

There's only post or don't post. You don't get a trial run in my dungeon.

From Gary Kaigax's Blog "Forgutten Realms: Tales of the Super Heavy" Andrew Trill thinks he can step into my cage. They call me the Dungeon Master for a reason. I set the DC. It doesn't matter how high you roll, I am going to modify your rolls all over your face. Heavyweight, Super Heavy, Lightweight, it doesn't matter. My trunks give me a +1 to balls, and my gloves a +2 to beating your ass. I am Kaigax. I am God.

From Gary Kaigax's Twitter: -Ain't no one at 265 wants to get into the ring with the Dungeon Master -Seriously, guys, I need a fight -I will honestly fight a hobo if it means I get a fight at 265 soon

He's a good fighter. I am proud to be ranked against him. Mr. Kaigax accepted your challenge, but I advised against taking that fight because I would like him to continue winning, plus he dropped down to 265.

In our weekly feature Big Men, Small Cage, James Oliver Rigney, Jr. sits down with "The Dungeon Master" Gary Kaigax following his spectacular knockout of rival Masaaki Shikuk. James Oliver Rigney, Jr: First, congratulations on the win. You'd just dropped three in a row, and your future with the company was doubtful. Gary Kaigax: I want to say that DIFO has been great to me, and I am very thankful for all the opportunities they have given me. They asked me to prove myself on this last card, they wanted to make sure I had something to offer the organization, and I did, and I do. JORJR: Have they extended your contract? GK: After that knockout, how could they not? JORJR: Alright, how about you walk us through the fight. GK: It's actually really interesting, you know? I'm in a six way tie for the fastest knockout in DIFO history. You've got Andrew Till over Bob Forest at Thrasher, Andrew Till again over Tubby Potbelly at Comfortably Numb where I also got my KO, George Hagler over Kevin Suzuki at Highwayman, and on the Spreading the Disease card Benjamin Foster knocked the hell out of Tommy John. I made my debut at Spreading the Disease, and right after that win I wanted to do something as spectacular as Foster did. JORJR: That was only four other knockouts. You said it was a six way tie. GK: I did, but I wanted to make sure to rub this in. The last knockout was at Coma, of all cards, where Cool McCold dropped Masaaki like a bag of mulch. Yeah, Masaaki now accounts for one third of the receiving end of the fastest knockouts in DIFO history. That's what I based my gameplan on. I knew he didn't have much of a chin, and his boxing is lousy regardless of what he says, so I came out less technical and more flashy than he trains for. Masaaki's chin is worse than Arlovski's. If you want to see a double KO, maybe DIFO can schedule that fight next. JORJR: Come on now, have a little respect for the guy. His record is still better than yours. GK: And what's that mean exactly? He admitted to taking the fight knowing that a win over me wouldn't do much for him other than give his record a slight boost. Did you see the odds for this fight? No one thought I was going to win. The guy's record is obviously more padded than an Asian girl's bra. JORJR: I don't know Gary, you're acting as if the grudge between you guys wasn't motivating factor enough. You two have been hyping this fight for awhile. Masaaki really had nothing to gain from this fight, but for you it was really do or die. I mean, his honor was on the line, what do you say about that? GK: Look at it this way James. Had the fight happened when I first called him out and we were both coming off of wins, then it would have been about honor. Had it happened after my first loss, it still would have been legit because he was losing too. But after that, I kept losing, and he kept winning. He wanted a quick win over a scrub, had a storyline to justify it, and jumped at the chance to raise his own star. Only, it backfired on him. The guy's in the hospital, and he should seriously rethink his career. JORJR: You talk quite candidly about the condition your career was in going into this fight. Why do you think you've been doing so poorly? GK: First, I was at a rather lousy gym. I've always mostly trained myself, so I didn't know how important a good training camp was. I've since joined up with The Dragon's Lair, and I'm improving every day with those guys. Besides that, I guess I really was obsessed with this fight. Masaaki needed to be shutup. That's all I've been able to think about going into every fight. Now that I've accomplished that, I've got nothing else holding me back. No mental barriers, you know? It's full steam ahead, and I'm going for the belt. JORJR: What would you have done had you lost this fight? GK: Well, I like to think of myself as less of a fighter and more of an entertainer, you know? I make things interesting. I keep things exciting. I think DIFO will always have a place for a guy like that. JORJR: Well, I can't disagree with that. Thanks for talking with us Gary. GK: Not a problem. And remember, if you step into my dungeon, you're going to get schooled.

Gary Kaigax: Never, ever doubt the Dungeon Master. You tried to play my game, and you lost.