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UPF Smack Thread

UPF fight smack thread Ultimate Pit Fighting Fight Smack thread

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#61

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Posted 12 May 2013 - 05:18 PM

Igor "The" Crazy

Yo! Charlie you are my next victim!
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#62

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Posted 23 May 2013 - 08:49 AM

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Oktawian August
"Sheen we're fighting once again. You said some shit about me in your interview. You're first guy who lost the fight to me via decision. This time you'll lose via KO. Your carrear as a fighter is even worse than your carrear in a movie industry. You never had a winning streak and it won't change! You won your last fight and now it's time to lose!"
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#63

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Posted 26 May 2013 - 04:54 AM

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Hugo Llorente (still champ):

Well, that was piss easy. I wonder who is gonna be first to actually give me a challenge in the cage. I do find it funny though, my opponents still choose to take me down after I continuously prove my dominance on the ground. Let me tell you all this, I have absolutely no take down defence. Why? Because I don't need it. I let my opponent choose where the fight takes place and then make them regret their decision, like a fuckin boss.
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#64

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Posted 14 June 2013 - 04:40 AM

Interview with a Sheen (Issue 937 - June 14, 2013)

Here at Cat Fancy magazine, we like to cater to the wants of the fans. When the fans are consistently clambering for an interview, we try to oblige. However, the fighter that they've been begging to hear from wanted nothing to do with the media until today.

Actor-turned-fighter Charlie Sheen is coming off the first stoppage defeat of his MMA career and he has taken some time to recuperate before contacting us for an interview. Below is a series of questions that we asked him about his rematch with Oktawian August, possible grudge matches, and the future of the welterweight division. Check it out!


CF: Charlie, thanks for coming to speak with us again.
Charlie: Hey, thanks for having me.
CF: Our pleasure as always. Let's jump right into it: you're fighting Slim Shady on June 29. In the past, you've been very vocal, you've told us that you think that Slim Shady is essentially a tomato can, pardon the expression. You've stated that you would dominate Shady and that he is nothing more than an easy win provided by the organization. Do you still feel this way?
Charlie: Look I've said a lot of things, it's hard to keep it all straight. Rather than try to give you an answer to that question, let me ask you this: who is the more effective striker? Slim Shady or Igor Crazy? Igor Crazy has scored actual standing knockouts, albeit against nobodies, but the point is that he's done that. So who do you think is the more effective wrestler, Shady or Crazy? Well, Igor Crazy has scored nearly double the total amount of takedowns that Slim Shady has. He has also landed a better ratio of attempted guard passes to successful guard passes than Shady has.
CF: If we didn't know any better, we'd think you were giving Igor Crazy some praise here.
Charlie: Hahahaha! Yeah, no, my point is that you can look at how crappy Igor Crazy is and realize that Slim Shady is crappier than that. If Igor Crazy is the poor man's Oktawian August then Slim Shady is like the Happy Meal toy that was made in China and is filled with lead paint and wrapped in asbestos.
CF: So it's safe to say that Slim Shady has zero chance of winning this fight then?
Charlie: I would never say that a guy has zero chance of winning a fight. It would be foolish of me to believe that and I don't. However, Slim Shady relies too heavily on his submissions. And I know that I'm coming off my first loss via submission but believe me when I say that Slim Shady is not Oktawian August.
CF: We actually hoped that you would issue a comment on that loss.
Charlie: Well, both August and I came out very aggressive looking to keep this fight from going the distance. Predictably, August didn't want to hurt his delicate little prissy hands so he took me down immediately.
CF: Mr. August earned a title shot with his win over you, how do you feel about that?
Charlie: I've never been submitted before and I've never been finished in MMA- until he did it to me. He deserves the next title shot but now he has to contend with Hank Patterson. August is a great finisher but Patterson is equal to or greater than August in every single aspect of mixed martial arts. The only advantage August has is his chin.
CF: Call it right now, who takes this fight?
Charlie: Hank Patterson via unanimous decision. They're both finishers but I don't think August can stop Patterson and vice versa.
CF: Igor Crazy has called you out for a fight as recently as May 12. Do you think that it's appropriate given that you're both coming off stoppage losses?
Charlie: Look I've done nothing to entertain Igor as a legitimate challenge to a fighter of my caliber. I've mocked him and ridiculed him and said a lot of truthful things about him. Of course he's not going to like that. He's a moron and a rookie but he's no coward. I'd want to fight me too. Just keep on punching, Igor.
CF: Do you really mean all of those bad things that you say about Igor Crazy?
Charlie: Look, I don't have any ill will towards Igor even though he may not want to believe that. I think Igor represents the every man. Igor is like the Homer Simpson of the welterweight division. By that I mean that Igor scratches his ass, burps, snoozes, and collects a pay check. You've gotta respect his ability to put zero effort into every single fight and still manage to collect just one more paycheck. I don't mean that, Igor, you know I think that you're the real welterweight champion of this division. Ending sarcasm in three, two...
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#65

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 09:20 AM

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Oktawian August
"I want to add my two cents about the fight between Slim Shady and Charlie Sheen. Sheen is a tough fighter and the biggest Slim's problem is his tactics. In the fight against me he tried to take me down 9 times, in a three minutes... The result of his tactic was pretty awesome gif which could be found in most of the MMA sites also I saw part of our fight in some KOs compilations in YouTube.
This fight is between former K-1 fighter who have problems with knocking his opponents and a ground fighter who is desperatly trying to take his opponents down. I fought against both of them and Charlie Sheen was bigger obstacle for me. His striking game has changed! In a positive way. In our second fight I wanted to keep the fight standing but he surprised me so I had to take him down. I don't see any chances in a striking exchange for Slim. The problem for Charlie is that Slim have really good chin and my prediction is that Charlie will win the fight via unnanonimous decision"
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#66

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Posted 16 June 2013 - 09:56 AM

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Slim Shady:

Listen Sheen, you fuckin mess of a man.. say what you want about me, see if i give a fuck! I wanted to fight you, I chose you as my last fight in UPF Hilo.. for now... I see no better way of leaving than choking you till your almost dead, you aint finished nobody and you sure as shit aint gonna start now. You're clearly nervous as fuck about this fight judging by the amount of research you have put into all my statistics and ratio's; lets see how all that homework pays off for you when I am at the other side of the cage from you bro! I'm just gonna go in there and do what I do; I don't need to know how many punches you've landed and shit all I know about you is that you have never finished a fight and you got fired from that shitty show 2 and a half men... well you gonna be half the man you were after this fight...cbomb!
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#67

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 10:21 AM

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Hugo Llorente:

Fucks sake my manager booked me on a private jet which was in the wrong city so obviously I missed that, now I am flying 1st class, this is the first time for me. A champ deserves better, I will be having words with my manager about this! I am not impressed. This better not fuck up my mentality coming into this fight.. I am sure I will be fine, I am the man of war after all and the reigning champ, so good luck Wayne you will need it.
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#68

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Posted 28 August 2013 - 07:41 AM

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Steve: I'm Steve your favourite MMA reporter. I'm in Tokyo, with former Reach Promotions fighter and current Ultimate Pit Fighting fighter - Oktawian "The Ceasar" August. Oktawian, you're fighting this weekend in UPF-H 46: Rebulding. Against Eulalio Gonzalez, could you say a few words about your opponent?

Oktawian: Eulalio is a top grappler, black belt in brazilian jiu jitsu. But he has lots of holes in his striking game. I want to use that to score a knockout. I was watching his fight videos. He is 9-9-1 in MMA but he has been KO'ed just once. I'll do everything to be the next guy who score a stoppage over Eulalio.

Steve: Oktawian, rumors says that you are going to leave UPF right after your next fight, any comments?

Oktawian: That's true. I've got last fight on my old contract and I rejected last offer. I want to come back fighting in middleweight division. Before signing a contract with UPF I was 185 lbs fighter. My manager has send me a few proposition about my future org. We're working together at making the best decision. I want to have four or even five more fight in middleweight division before going on a retire.

Steve: What makes you thinking about going on a retire?

Oktawian: I'm getting older and I want to focus on helping Bragi with developing young fighters. Also I don't have so much will to fighting like in the old days. I'm 1-3 in last 4 fights, maybe in 185 lbs I would return to my days of glory.

Steve: I can only wish you the best, Oktawian. Well, the time is running out, do you want to say something to our fans and to your opponent?

August: Yes, thanks for the chance. Eulalio I can't wait for the fight. Let's make it the best fight in the whole event's card. Don't forget to buy a ticket on the event, a few tickets are still avaiable. Also, don't forget to check clothes at my sponsor's shop - Conviction
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#69 SpizzEnergi

SpizzEnergi

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Posted 31 August 2015 - 07:18 AM

I got a contract. Won a fight, now I'm released with no warning or explanation?

 

The guy I beat is still on the roster?

 

I say bullshit !!

 

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Decca Heggie


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