PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Dardan Douchebag (ranked 1600 p4p, 157 weight class) and Johnny Kilmister (ranked 1590 p4p, 156 weight class). Douchebag comes into the arena with Donkey blaring out of the sound system. Johnny Kilmister has the eye of the tiger tonight.

Douchebag
vs
Kilmister

176 cm
31
155 lbs
11 - 9 - 0

190 cm
29
155 lbs
6 - 4 - 0

Great wrestler
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Excellent grappler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 11 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Dardan Douchebag!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Johnny Kilmister!
The judges for this bout are Wesley Smith, Gwen Towbar and Daniel Franklin.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kilmister lands a nice shot that snaps Douchebag's head back.
Douchebag misses with a takedown attempt - Kilmister sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
Douchebag tries to clinch up but Kilmister circles away and keeps his distance.
Kilmister lunges at Douchebag with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Douchebag's hand.
Kilmister lands an overhand right.

Kilmister has Douchebag up against the cage in a clinch.
Kilmister leaning against his opponent.
Douchebag stalling in the clinch.
Douchebag avoiding damage as Kilmister throws knees to the body.
Kilmister lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Kilmister prevents the takedown attempt.
Douchebag wants a takedown but no success here.
We've been hearing reports that Douchebag has been drilling takedowns in recent sessions so let's see if that has an impact on the result of this fight.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Dardan Douchebag. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Douchebag can't find room to land a body shot as Kilmister controls the action.

Douchebag breaks the clinch.

Kilmister tries to keep at a distance but Douchebag has taken the fight into the clinch.
A nice left hand lands by Kilmister.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

Kilmister is fighting off a takedown attempt but Douchebag is just too persistent for him and manages to trip Kilmister to the mat. Kilmister regains guard as soon as the fighters hit the mat.

Kilmister has managed to wall walk up one of the corner posts to get back to his feet. Douchebag is pushing him up against the cage, looking to control the position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Douchebag is pressed up against the cage. Kilmister has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Douchebag down to the mat. Douchebag avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
Kilmister is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Douchebag tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Douchebag shoots in but no luck this time.
Douchebag lunges at Kilmister with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Kilmister's hand.
Douchebag moves to clinch but Kilmister breaks away

and Kilmister counters with a nice double leg into guard.
Douchebag working a defensive guard here.
Kilmister missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.

Douchebag has his foot on Kilmister's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Kilmister works his way back into a safe position though.
Kilmister throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Douchebag works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Douchebag is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Kilmister showing good wrestling skills to control the position.
Douchebag tries to land a sweep but no joy.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kilmister engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Kilmister wants to control from the top but Douchebag keeps moving.
Douchebag manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Kilmister manages to get himself to full guard.

This has been an exciting period of action!
Douchebag stopping the sweep attempt from Kilmister.
Douchebag scoring with some ground and pound.
Douchebag wants to control from the top but Kilmister keeps moving.
Kilmister wants to sweep here but Douchebag controlling him for the moment.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Kilmister is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kilmister is trying to keep Douchebag in close.
Douchebag is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Kilmister working a defensive guard here.
Douchebag throws a big elbow that misses.
Douchebag with a flurry of punches that miss.
Kilmister wants to sweep here but Douchebag controlling him for the moment.
Douchebag trying to control the position from guard on top but Kilmister is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
The referee wants the fighters to be more active or he's going to reset them on the feet.
Kilmister pulls Douchebag in close to prevent any damage.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Douchebag looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Kilmister is fending him off so far but Douchebag persists. Nope, Kilmister circles away and we're back to standing.
A jab lands there for Kilmister.
Douchebag checks a low kick from Kilmister.
Douchebag shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Kilmister pinned against the cage. Kilmister gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.

Kilmister shoots in and gets a takedown into Douchebag's guard.
Kilmister sitting in guard here, content to control.
Kilmister postures up in Douchebag's guard and throws a big left but Douchebag blocks it.
Douchebag looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Kilmister with a flurry of punches that miss.

Douchebag working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Kilmister doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Kilmister manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Kilmister working some strikes from top position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Johnny Kilmister dominated that round.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Douchebag wants to clinch up but Kilmister keeps it at a distance.
Kilmister has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Douchebag has his takedown stuffed
and Kilmister counters with a flying knee. Nice.
Douchebag tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Kilmister manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Douchebag shoots in and drives through. Kilmister sprawls well.
Good standup being displayed there by Kilmister as he connects with a hook.
Douchebag takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Douchebag fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Kilmister avoids it really well and circles away.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Dardan Douchebag. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Douchebag tries for a takedown but Kilmister sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Kilmister throws out a counter right but Douchebag avoids it with no problem.

Kilmister shoots in and gets a takedown into Douchebag's guard.
Johnny Kilmister has got the better of the ground game so far.
Kilmister missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Kilmister won't allow Douchebag to sweep him here.
Kilmister forces his way into half guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kilmister missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.
Kilmister trying to control the action but Douchebag is working from the bottom.
Douchebag is trying to get back to full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Kilmister is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Douchebag sees it coming and defends easily.
Kilmister sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Douchebag defending well though.
Kilmister slows the pace down in half guard.
Douchebag is looking to control Kilmister's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Douchebag avoid being mounted?
Kilmister looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding.
Douchebag wants to get back to full guard.
Douchebag is refusing to be controlled, as Kilmister sits in half guard.
Douchebag is looking to control Kilmister's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Douchebag avoid being mounted?

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
It looks like Kilmister is going to stand back up.
My spies in Death Valley Training Facility inform me that Kilmister has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Douchebag gets full guard.
Douchebag keeping moving, preventing Kilmister from controlling successfully.
Douchebag lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.

Douchebag throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Kilmister works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Kilmister keeping moving, preventing Douchebag from controlling successfully.
Kilmister wants to get back to his feet but Douchebag is in a dominant position and won't allow it.
Kilmister looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Douchebag looking to sit in guard and control but Kilmister gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kilmister loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Douchebag wants to sweep but no luck.
Kilmister working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Douchebag looking to hit a scissor sweep but Kilmister is one step ahead there.

Kilmister gets to his feet. Douchebag looking to butt scoot but the ref puts an end to that. On your feet son!

Kilmister clinches up with Douchebag and pushes him back against the cage.
Kilmister stalling in the clinch but Douchebag improves position.

Kilmister breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.

Douchebag looking to shoot here. He's gone for it and he's landed a takedown into side control! Oh, that's bad for Kilmister!

Kilmister explodes and escapes back to his feet! Nice escape there!
Johnny Kilmister seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Kilmister has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Douchebag shoots in for a takedown but Kilmister shows good takedown defense.
Douchebag fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Kilmister's jab looks to have found its range, popping Douchebag under the eye.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kilmister scores with a nice strike.

Kilmister gets a takedown into half guard.
Douchebag is pressing down on Kilmister's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.
Kilmister throws a big right hand that misses.

Kilmister avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Kilmister throwing strikes but missing.
Kilmister stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Douchebag swivels though and keeps the full guard.

Douchebag looking for subs off his back but Kilmister has passed one foot through into half guard.
Kilmister throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Johnny Kilmister showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Douchebag darts in looking for a takedown but Kilmister gets double underhooks and turns Douchebag into the cage.

Kilmister shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.
Kilmister wants to control from the top but Douchebag keeps moving.
Douchebag is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Douchebag bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Kilmister's guard.

Kilmister not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Douchebag postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Douchebag trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Douchebag chips away with some ground and pound.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Kilmister will have to put a bit more behind his punches if he's going to do any damage from this position.
Douchebag lands a couple of digs.
Kilmister is trying to control the position but Douchebag postures up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kilmister wants to sweep but no luck.
Kilmister trying to control the position.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Douchebag accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Kilmister has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Douchebag looking to pass the guard.
Douchebag postures up and lands a big shot to Kilmister's brow.
Kilmister is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Douchebag lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
Kilmister wants to sweep but no luck.
Kilmister bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Douchebag's guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kilmister postures up.
Douchebag is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Kilmister engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Douchebag looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Kilmister looking to pass the guard.

Douchebag throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Kilmister content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Kilmister works a leg free and moves into half guard.
Douchebag is looking for a sweep. Kilmister is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kilmister trying to pass the guard but Douchebag defending well.
Kilmister slows the pace down in half guard.
Kilmister sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Douchebag defending well though.
Douchebag trying to control from the bottom.
Douchebag slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Kilmister postures up.
Kilmister's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Kilmister trying to control but Douchebag is working from the bottom.

Douchebag looking for a guillotine here but Kilmister defends easily.
Dardan Douchebag has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Both fighters are breathing heavily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Kilmister stopping the sweep attempt from Douchebag.
Johnny Kilmister is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Douchebag might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Kilmister trying to control but Douchebag is working from the bottom.
Douchebag is striking but Kilmister is not phased and passes to half guard.
Douchebag slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Kilmister throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Kilmister controls from within his opponent's guard.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Douchebag trying to strike off his back.

And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Johnny Kilmister.
Well Kilmister has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Wesley Smith scores the fight 27:30
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 27:30
Judge Daniel Franklin scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Johnny Kilmister!
Johnny Kilmister seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.