PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Steamed Ham (ranked 6046 p4p, 575 weight class) and Rick Roller (ranked 4778 p4p, 0 weight class). On his way into the cage it seems that Steamed Ham has been attacked by a crazed fan! It looks like it might have been the just bleed guy! Luckily Steamed Ham seems to be OK! I thought that lunatic was in prison!?

Ham
vs
Roller

225 cm
25
265 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

198 cm
25
285 lbs
0 - 1 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Solid boxing
Hates pizza

Decent wrestler
Solid Muay Thai
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Steamed Ham!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Rick Roller!
The judges for this bout are David Hoff, Dirk Anderson and Santiago Holmes.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Roller dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Roller scores with a punch to the head.
Roller tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Ham was well out of range. Poor timing from Roller.
A looping hook to the body misses from Roller. Ham does a little dance to reset his feet.
Roller misses with a straight left.
And Ham counters with a quick kick to the body but Roller blocks it.
Ham drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Roller loads up on a big right hand but Ham slips the punch.
Roller just manages to avoid a counter high kick fromHam.
Ham blocks a jab.
Ham really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Roller waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Ham.

Roller gets a clinch.
Roller should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.
Roller misses with a punch to the body.
Roller cracks Ham with a nice body shot.
A nice left hand lands by Roller.
Roller misses with the head strike.
Ham drops to a knee looking for a takedown but Roller gets the underhooks and prevents it.
Roller misses with some punches.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Roller breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Ham steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Roller.
Ham tries to drive through with a takedown attempt but Roller defends well and Ham ends up having to push Roller into the cage where they will battle it out in the clinch.
Ham shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Roller sprawls well. Roller wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Ham gets slowly back to his feet.
Roller throws out a counter right but Ham avoids it with no problem.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Steamed Ham. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Ham fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Roller avoids it really well and circles away.
Roller blocks a head kick by Ham.
Ham uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Roller.
Ham shoots in and drives through. Roller sprawls well.
Ham fails with an attempt to clinch.
Ham with a lazy takedown attempt
and Roller makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Ham is breathing heavily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Roller misses with a looping right.
Rick Roller seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Roller ducks down and throws a big overhand right - it lands flush on the jaw, knocking Ham out cold! The fight is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:11 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Rick Roller!
After winning the bout, Rick Roller thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.