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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Dardan Douchebag (ranked 1673 p4p, 201 weight class) and Johnny Kilmister (ranked 5011 p4p, 480 weight class). Douchebag comes into the arena with Donkey blaring out of the sound system. Well, I have no idea who's going to take this one!
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| 176 cm
27
155 lbs
9 - 5 - 0 |
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190 cm
25
155 lbs
1 - 1 - 0 |
Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
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Excellent grappler
World class MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
9 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Dardan Douchebag!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Johnny Kilmister!
The judges for this bout are Chris Edwards, Steven Brown and Daniel Bishop.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Douchebag pushes Kilmister up against the cage in a clinch.
Douchebag has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Kilmister is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
Douchebag is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Kilmister gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
Douchebag has Kilmister pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Kilmister manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Dardan Douchebag. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Kilmister escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Kilmister clinches up with Douchebag and pushes him back against the cage.
Kilmister swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Douchebag is trying to drag Kilmister to the mat but Kilmister just about manages to keep his footing. He used the cage to his advantage there.
Kilmister wants to stall.
Kilmister stalling.
Kilmister pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Kilmister throws a wild body kick that Douchebag sees coming a mile off.
Kilmister moves into the clinch successfully.
Kilmister gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from Douchebag.
Douchebag has dropped down and is looking to force the takedown but it's defended by Kilmister after a bit of a struggle.
Douchebag tightens his grip and picks Kilmister up, before dumping him to the ground. Kilmister manages to land in guard.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Douchebag won't allow Kilmister to sweep him here.
Douchebag working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Douchebag with a flurry of punches that miss.
Douchebag is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Kilmister controls Douchebag momentarily but Douchebag frees himself.
Kilmister working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Douchebag.
We've been hearing that Douchebag has been drilling a lot of ground and pound in training, so let's see if he get the finish.
Kilmister keeping full guard, as Douchebag tries to pass.
Douchebag lands a couple of decent looking shots.
Douchebag trying to control but Kilmister is working from the bottom.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
Kilmister bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Douchebag's guard.
Douchebag is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Kilmister defends well.
My spies in Death Valley Training Facility inform me that Kilmister has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Kilmister accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Douchebag is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Kilmister is aware though and is defending well.
Kilmister stands up and waves to Douchebag to follow him.
Dardan Douchebag seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
The fighters circle momentarily. Douchebag darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Kilmister darts in and clinches Douchebag up against the cage.
Douchebag tries for a takedown but Kilmister manages to get underhooks.
Kilmister is trying to force a seperation but Douchebag has the dominant position.
Douchebag gets a nice trip takedown into half guard.
Kilmister tries to get to full guard but Douchebag has control of the leg.
The referee walks around the fighters to get a better view of the action. Douchebag lands a nice short elbow.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kilmister is looking for a sweep. Douchebag is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
The referee walks around the fighters to get a better view of the action. Douchebag lands a nice short elbow.
Douchebag missing with the ground and pound from half guard.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Douchebag is trying to work for a kimura but Kilmister is defending well.
Kilmister is defending against the submission attempts here by Douchebag.
Kilmister is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Kilmister pushes Douchebag off looking to stand but Douchebag dives back in and keeps control.
Kilmister wants to get back to full guard.
Douchebag is just content to waste time from the top position. Kilmister takes advantage of the situation and regains full guard.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Douchebag throws an elbow that misses. Kilmister uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Douchebag's guard. Nice move by Kilmister!
Kilmister is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Kilmister throws a big elbow that misses.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Kilmister accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Douchebag striking from his own guard.
Douchebag looking for a sweep. Not yet Douchebag, not yet.
Kilmister trying to control the position from guard on top but Douchebag is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Kilmister landing some decent shots from guard.
Douchebag trying to punch from his back but it's not doing any damage.
Kilmister in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Douchebag utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Kilmister in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
A close round but Johnny Kilmister will probably get the nod.
That's time! Douchebag's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.
Douchebag closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Kilmister to the mat! Kilmister manages to get full guard.
Kilmister not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Douchebag throwing strikes from guard but Kilmister blocks nicely.
Douchebag looking to sit in guard and control but Kilmister gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
Kilmister has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Kilmister throwing strikes from guard but Douchebag blocks nicely.
Kilmister trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.
Kilmister loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Douchebag looking to control the pace of the fight rather than finish it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Kilmister is on the wrong end of a couple of strikes there.
Dardan Douchebag overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Kilmister throws a big right hand that misses.
Douchebag controls Kilmister momentarily but Kilmister frees himself.
Douchebag looking to hit a scissor sweep but Kilmister is one step ahead there.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Douchebag is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Kilmister throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Douchebag thows some rabbit punches from the bottom but they don't do any damage.
Douchebag might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Douchebag is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Kilmister stopping the sweep attempt from Douchebag.
Kilmister stays in close to Douchebag's body and controls the position.
Kilmister working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Kilmister preventing the sweep.
Kilmister slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Kilmister takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Kilmister slips a jab from Douchebag.
Kilmister rushes Douchebag and presses him up against the cage.
Kilmister misses with some punches.
Kilmister misses with the head strike.
Douchebag drops down for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Douchebag breaks from the clinch.
Douchebag instigates a clinch.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Kilmister.
Douchebag wants to stall.
Douchebag misses with the head strike.
Douchebag avoiding damage as Kilmister throws knees to the body.
Kilmister keeps control of Douchebag as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Kilmister misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Douchebag.
Douchebag changes levels and goes for a takedown here. Kilmister fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Douchebag closes the distance and clinches up with Kilmister, looking for a takedown. Douchebag pushes Kilmister against the cage but Kilmister circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Dardan Douchebag. That's going to take a lot out of him.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Douchebag takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Douchebag shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Kilmister sprawls well. Kilmister wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Douchebag gets slowly back to his feet.
Kilmister throws a solid leg kick but Douchebag takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Kilmister.
Douchebag is looking for a counter combo.
Douchebag is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Douchebag throws a big shot that misses.
Dardan Douchebag is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Kilmister doesn't manage to clinch there - Douchebag circles away.
Douchebag shuffles to his left behind two crisp jabs. Kilmister eats them both and turns towards Douchebag to reposition himself and eats a stinging right hand-left hook combo.
Kilmister throws a series of strikes that have Douchebag backpedaling.
Douchebag shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Kilmister misses with a body shot.
Douchebag takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Kilmister throws a low kick but Douchebag moves out of range easily.
Kilmister dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Douchebag. That did some damage!
Douchebag moves into range and clinches up with Kilmister.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kilmister gets underhooks to prevent Douchebag's takedown attempt.
Douchebag breaks from the clinch.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Douchebag lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Kilmister swinging wildly here.
Douchebag bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Douchebag throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Kilmister misses with a low kick.
Douchebag lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Kilmister circles away quickly and effectively.
Kilmister shoots in from a long way out. He's driving through with the takedown attempt and he eventually gets it, landing in Douchebag's guard.
Douchebag keeping moving, preventing Kilmister from controlling successfully.
Douchebag wants to sweep here but Kilmister controlling him for the moment.
Douchebag trying to control the position.
Douchebag wants to sweep but no luck.
Douchebag will have to put a bit more behind his punches if he's going to do any damage from this position.
Kilmister throws a big elbow that misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Johnny Kilmister showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!
Douchebag shoots in for a double leg but Kilmister sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Kilmister closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Kilmister misses with a body kick.
A clash of legs there as Douchebag blocks the low kick.
Kilmister tries to clinch there but Douchebag circles away.
Douchebag fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Douchebag lands with a cross.
Kilmister dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Douchebag. That did some damage!
A big right from Douchebag misses.
Douchebag shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Kilmister as he jumps to the side.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Dardan Douchebag. That's going to take a lot out of him.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Douchebag tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Kilmister manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Douchebag throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Kilmister moves into the clinch successfully.
Douchebag avoiding damage.
Douchebag has hold of a leg and is looking for a trip takedown. Kilmister avoids it nicely though and we remain in the clinch.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Kilmister looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Kilmister misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Douchebag.
Kilmister pulls guard effortlessly.
Kilmister trying to control the position here.
Kilmister has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Kilmister is trying to control the position but Douchebag postures up.
Douchebag throws a big elbow that misses.
Douchebag throws a big right hand that misses.
Douchebag is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
Douchebag throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Kilmister works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Douchebag accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Kilmister is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Douchebag throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Kilmister works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Douchebag scoring with punches to the head and body.
Kilmister working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Douchebag.
Kilmister not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Kilmister being controlled here, momentarily.
Douchebag's ground tactics aren't going to win him many fans. Let's hope he's got fireworks for us if he gets back to his feet because he's not doing much on the ground.
Douchebag throwing strikes but missing.
Douchebag landing some decent shots from guard.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Douchebag in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Douchebag controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Douchebag trying to control but Kilmister is working from the bottom.
The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Kilmister is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Douchebag shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Kilmister sprawls well. Kilmister wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Douchebag gets slowly back to his feet.
Douchebag closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Douchebag is working on a leg, looking for a takedown but Kilmister is defending well.
Douchebag has Kilmister pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Kilmister manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kilmister tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Douchebag's elbow.
Nice elbow from Kilmister.
Johnny Kilmister is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Douchebag pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Kilmister scores with a kick to the body.
Kilmister throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Kilmister misses with a straight left.
Douchebag closes the distance and scores a nice trip takedown into half guard. Kilmister did well to prevent Douchebag getting side control.
Douchebag thows a huge punch but Kilmister dodges it nicely.
Kilmister wants to get back to his feet.
Dardan Douchebag has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Douchebag wants to work for an arm triangle but Kilmister is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.
Kilmister slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Kilmister keeping full guard, as Douchebag tries to pass.
Kilmister preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
And that's the end of the fight!
I would just about give that final round to Johnny Kilmister.
I've got Kilmister winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chris Edwards scores the fight 27:30
Judge Steven Brown scores the fight 27:30
Judge Daniel Bishop scores the fight 27:30
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Johnny Kilmister!
A relieved looking Johnny Kilmister thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
44% |
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