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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Buzz Lightbeer (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Douche Pillowhands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Buzz Lightbeer had a look across the cage there at his opponent. He definitely means business
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| 176 cm
33
160 lbs
12 - 6 - 1 |
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175 cm
33
172 lbs
22 - 19 - 1 |
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Very quick |
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Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
12 - 6 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Buzz Lightbeer!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
22 - 19 - 1, fighting out of Los Angeles, Douche Pillowhands!
The judges for this bout are Gwen Towbar, George Francis and Frank Dennis.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Pillowhands keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands blocks a head kick by Lightbeer.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Lightbeer pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Lightbeer connects with a nice looking jab.
Pillowhands slips under a jab.
Pillowhands drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Lightbeer defends it well.
Lightbeer pulls out of a head kick attempt.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Pillowhands blocks a jab.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Lightbeer tries to bum rush Pillowhands with a series of wild strikes but Pillowhands uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Lightbeer pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Lightbeer throws a big shot that misses.
Pillowhands with the counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it easily.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Pillowhands blocks a head kick by Lightbeer.
Pillowhands is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
Lightbeer misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Lightbeer fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Pillowhands is out of range.
Lightbeer throws a body kick that misses.
Buzz Lightbeer is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Lightbeer throws a leg kick but Pillowhands moved away.
Lightbeer wants to slow Pillowhands down by chopping away at his legs.
Lightbeer fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer misses with a straight left.
Pillowhands changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.
Lightbeer pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Pillowhands with the counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it easily.
Pillowhands defending well as Lightbeer loads up on a big left hand.
Lightbeer scores with a nice strike.
Lightbeer tries to work over Pillowhands's front leg with a kick but Pillowhands checks it.
Pillowhands blocks a head kick by Lightbeer.
Lightbeer misses the jab.
Pillowhands with the counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it easily.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer misses the shot to the body.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Pillowhands slips under a jab from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
A big left from Lightbeer misses.
Lightbeer throws a head kick that misses.
Pillowhands with the counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it easily.
Pillowhands ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Pillowhands is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
Lightbeer tries a head kick but it misses.
Lightbeer throws a half hearted mid kick.
Pillowhands with the counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it easily.
Pillowhands uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Lightbeer.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Lightbeer pushes his down on his head and steps out.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer misses with a head kick.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Lightbeer pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Pillowhands ducks under a wild hook from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
Lightbeer goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Pillowhands slips a jab and a cross from Lightbeer.
Lightbeer throws a poor cross that misses
so Pillowhands counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
Lightbeer has scooted to the edge of the canvas and used the cage to get back to his feet. Pillowhands has stuck on his opponent and is forcing him back against the cage.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Lightbeer breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Lightbeer misses the jab.
Pillowhands drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Lightbeer defends it well.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Buzz Lightbeer dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!
Pillowhands keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Pillowhands on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Lightbeer misses with a jab, cross combination.
Pillowhands moves out of range of the strikes.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Lightbeer pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Pillowhands avoids the head kick by Lightbeer.
Pillowhands is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Lightbeer throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Pillowhands checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Pillowhands drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Lightbeer defends it well.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting Lightbeer here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
Lightbeer fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Lightbeer throws out a loose jab but Pillowhands uses good head movement to avoid it.
Pillowhands is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
A head kick by Lightbeer misses
and Pillowhands counters with a nice double leg into guard.
Pillowhands looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Let's hope that Pillowhands has the urge to step up the pace any second now because for the last 15 or 20 seconds he's just been holding on tight.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer is looking to stand back up... there's a bit of a scramble and Pillowhands dives into side control.
Pillowhands is staying tight to Lightbeer's torso, preventing him from escaping.
Lightbeer pushes Pillowhands away and creates a bit of space to escape. He's almost out here... but no, Pillowhands gets a good hold of his legs and remains firmly in side control.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer is looking to get back to his feet here but Pillowhands is keeping cool and he's managed to take Lightbeer's back.
Lightbeer is trying to get back to his feet but Pillowhands has full control of the position and if anything, Lightbeer has just worked his way into a worse spot.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Lightbeer is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Pillowhands can do to turn this around?
So, who will make the next big move? In this position it could be crucial.
Lightbeer is trying to get back to his feet but he's not managed it yet.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Pillowhands slows the pace down here. Having a little breather whilst he's in a dominant position, looking to rest and regain some energy, ready to go for the finish.
Lightbeer is trying to stand back up.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Douche Pillowhands showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! Let's hear some noise people - this is the final round!
Lightbeer throws a hook to the side of Pillowhands's head but Pillowhands sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Lightbeer jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Pillowhands is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
Lightbeer thuds a left hand into Pillowhands's body.
Lightbeer misses with a wild body shot.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Lightbeer tries a head kick but it misses.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Lightbeer just misses with a punch to the body.
Pillowhands is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
Lightbeer tries to score with a low kick but Pillowhands moves his leg out of the way.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Pillowhands blocks the body kick.
Pillowhands changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.
Lightbeer throws a head kick that misses.
Pillowhands feints the counter takedown.
Pillowhands slips under a jab from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
Nice body punch from Lightbeer.
Lightbeer looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Pillowhands with the counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it easily.
Lightbeer is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Lightbeer missing with a left hand there. Pillowhands was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lightbeer throws the left hand but Pillowhands avoids the punch easily.
And Pillowhands tries to counter it with a takedown but Lightbeer pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Lightbeer pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Lightbeer throws a head kick but Pillowhands moves out of range.
Lightbeer lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.
Pillowhands avoids the head kick by Lightbeer.
Lightbeer swings for the body but Pillowhands moves out of range.
A head kick misses from Lightbeer.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
A telegraphed right hand from Lightbeer misses the target.
Pillowhands changes levels for a counter takedown but doesn't follow through with his attempt.
Buzz Lightbeer is winning the standup battle so far.
Lightbeer throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Pillowhands tries a counter takedown but it's more of a dummy move, and he uses it to push himself away.
Lightbeer misses with a low kick.
Pillowhands feints the counter takedown.
Lightbeer misses with a double jab.
Pillowhands blocks a jab.
Lightbeer pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Pillowhands with the counter takedown but Lightbeer avoids it easily.
Pillowhands checks a low kick from Lightbeer.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Pillowhands ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Lightbeer misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Pillowhands drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Lightbeer defends it well.
Lightbeer misses with a straight right.
Lightbeer looks to land a left hand but Pillowhands moved out of range nicely.
Lightbeer throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Lightbeer fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Pillowhands manages to avoid it.
Pillowhands drops down looking to force a counter takedown but Lightbeer defends it well.
Lightbeer misses with a body shot.
And that's the end of the fight!
Buzz Lightbeer showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Lightbeer has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Gwen Towbar scores the fight 29:27
Judge George Francis scores the fight 29:27
Judge Frank Dennis scores the fight 29:27
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Buzz Lightbeer!
Buzz Lightbeer was full of energy after the big win and talked about how he thinks he can do big things in this sport. The crowd were appreciative of his determination to succeed.
In defeat, Douche Pillowhands stepped up to the mic, saying 'I'm not sure where to go from here? Do I keep fighting?'.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
28% |
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