PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Pai Mei (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Paul Penis (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Penis is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Pinchers - Bandolero. Paul Penis is staring across the ring at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.

Mei
vs
Penis

179 cm
20
160 lbs
4 - 2 - 0

179 cm
20
164 lbs
5 - 4 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Basic striking
Experienced

BJJ Purple Belt
Counter striker
Knockout power

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Pai Mei!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Paul Penis!
The judges for this bout are Hirohito Nitta, Yasuomi Hirokawa and Sosuke Kotani.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Mei tries to close the distance and clinch but Penis swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Mei shoots in but Penis avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Horrible takedown by Mei or perhaps it was just good defense by Penis which made him look bad.
Mei swinging wilding here.
Nice sprawl there from Penis as Mei shoots in.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Pai Mei. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Mei avoids the head kick by Penis.

Penis clinches.
Penis prevents Mei from breaking the clinch.
Penis is trying to break free.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Mei breaks from the clinch.
Mei tries to grapple but his opponent circles

and Penis counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Penis.

Mei breaks the clinch.
Mei throws a head kick but Penis moves out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Mei fails with the takedown

and Penis counters with a nice double leg into half guard.
Mei manages to get to full guard.
Mei looking for a sweep. Not yet Mei, not yet.

Penis thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.
Penis slips nicely into half guard.
Penis trying to mount his opponent but Mei defends it.

Mei looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Penis has freed up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Mei tries to lock up and control but Penis gives him a forearm to the face and pushes him away.
Mei is trying desperately to improve position.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Mei is breathing heavily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Penis working for a guillotine from mount but Mei is in no mood to give up.
Mei is looking to get to half guard.

Penis looking for a guillotine from mount but Mei is having none of it.

Penis looking to secure an arm triangle but Mei defends it well.
Mei tries to reverse the position but Penis maintains control.

Penis looking for an armbar but decides to keep the dominant position instead.

Penis is in full mount, looking to secure a guillotine but Mei is surviving well by controlling Penis's body position as best he can.
Mei tries to hold on but Penis postures up.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Mei is trying to escape the mount.
Mei is working hard here to advance position.
Mei tries to hold on but Penis postures up.

Penis working to secure an arm triangle but it's not happening for him just yet.
Mei tries to reverse the position but Penis maintains control.

Penis is in full mount, looking to secure a guillotine but Mei is surviving well by controlling Penis's body position as best he can.
Both fighters really going for it on the ground here!
Mei is desperately trying to improve his position but Penis has a good base and remains in mount.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Mei tries to hold on but Penis postures up.
Penis prevents Mei from getting the reversal.

Penis looks like he's working for a submission but he's not found anything just yet.
Penis wants to take his opponent's back but he's not managed it.
Mei is looking to get to half guard.
Mei wants to control but Penis is having none of it.
Penis looking to ground and pound but Mei is blocking nicely.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Paul Penis dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Penis rushes Mei and pushes him back against the ropes in a clinch.
Mei unloads a knee to the mid-section. Penis lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.

Mei breaks from the clinch.
Mei misses with a takedown

and Penis moves into the clinch.
Mei looking for a takedown.

Penis breaks from the clinch.
Mei falls off balance throwing a combination

and Penis counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Penis.
Penis wants a takedown.

Mei breaks the clinch.
A big right from Penis misses.
Mei misses with a takedown attempt

and Penis counters with a nice single leg takedown and he's in Mei's guard now.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Pai Mei. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Penis pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Mei is keeping the position for now.
Penis throwing strikes from guard but Mei blocks nicely.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Penis sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Mei's guard.
Mei wants to get back to full guard.

Penis is working for a submission of some sort.
Mei trying to control here.
Mei tries to kick Penis off but Penis keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.

Penis looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.

Penis is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Mei manages to get to full guard.

Penis thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.
Mei looking for a sweep. Not yet Mei, not yet.
Penis trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Penis is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Mei avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.

Penis drops back for a leg! It's a sloppy attempt though and Penis jumps back into guard quickly, to retain the dominant position.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Mei tries to clinch but Penis moves away

and Penis counters into the clinch. Nicely done.

Penis pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Pai Mei is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Penis checks a leg kick nicely.
Penis avoids a punch combination nicely.
Penis throws a head kick but Mei moves out of range.
Mei darts in trying to clinch

and Penis counters by moving into the clinch.
Mei tries to pull guard but Penis holds him up against the ropes and eventually Mei drops back down to his feet.

Penis breaks from the clinch.
Mei clinches but Penis breaks the clinch
and Penis counters with a straight punch to the midsection.

Penis shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in full mount! That's better than Penis was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Mei is trying desperately to improve position.

Penis is going olschool here, as he tries to force Mei to tap using a forearm choke. This isn't 1993 though, so Mei shrugs it off.
Paul Penis has got the better of the ground game so far.
Mei working to try and regain half guard.
Mei is trying to escape the mount but Penis keeps good control and instead manages to take Mei's back.
Mei turns into Penis and is now in his guard.
Mei tries to free his leg and advance position but Penis is retaining full guard.
Mei throwing strikes but missing.

Mei thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.
Mei passes easily into side control. Nice work.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Paul Penis showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

Penis plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Mei checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.

Penis darts in and clinches Mei up against the ropes.
Mei tries to land knees in the clinch but Penis avoids the damage to the body.
Mei wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Mei is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the ropes.
Penis gets underhooks to prevent Mei's takedown attempt.

Mei breaks the clinch.
Mei doesn't succeed with the takedown

and Penis decides to take the opportunity to score a takedown. He's landed in Mei's guard.
Penis passes Mei's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Penis moves nicely into side control.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Penis advances to full mount.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Penis working to secure an arm triangle but it's not happening for him just yet.

Penis is going olschool here, as he tries to force Mei to tap using a forearm choke. This isn't 1993 though, so Mei shrugs it off.
Mei really wants to buck Penis off and get back to his feet.

Penis working for a submission but Mei is keeping him at bay.
Mei tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Mei blocking the ground and pound.
Mei is desperately trying to get back to half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Penis is going olschool here, as he tries to force Mei to tap using a forearm choke. This isn't 1993 though, so Mei shrugs it off.
Mei tries to hold on but Penis postures up.

Mei defends a decent attempt at a guillotine from Penis.
Mei working to try and regain half guard.

Penis is going olschool here, as he tries to force Mei to tap using a forearm choke. This isn't 1993 though, so Mei shrugs it off.

Penis is working on an americana here. Ooh, that looks pretty nasty! Nope, Mei has managed to escape the submission attempt.

Penis working for a submission but Mei is keeping him at bay.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Penis is in full mount, looking to secure a guillotine but Mei is surviving well by controlling Penis's body position as best he can.
Penis misses with a head shot.
Mei regains half guard.
Penis thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
Penis missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.
Mei gets full guard.

Mei looking for a guillotine here but Penis defends easily.

Mei is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Mei wants to sweep but no luck.
Mei throwing some rather feeble looking strikes off his back.
Penis looking to pass the guard.
Penis passes Mei's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Penis prevents Mei from improving his position.

Penis is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Mei sees it coming and defends easily.
Penis uses his free foot to push down on Mei's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Mei.

Penis looks like he's working for a submission but he's not found anything just yet.
Mei really trying hard to get back to half guard here.

And that's the end of the fight!
Paul Penis comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Penis has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Hirohito Nitta scores the fight 27:30
Judge Yasuomi Hirokawa scores the fight 27:30
Judge Sosuke Kotani scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Paul Penis!