PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Theodore Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Andrey Kuznetcov (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Thundercunt comes to the cage accompanied by What a Wonderful World-Louis Armstrong. Theodore Thundercunt could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Andrey Kuznetcov's chin.

Thundercunt
vs
Kuznetcov

194 cm
28
245 lbs
14 - 5 - 0

190 cm
21
272 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

Decent wrestler
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Urban Fighter

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Theodore Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Andrey Kuznetcov!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, and Frank Antenori.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kuznetcov misses with a takedown attempt
letting Thundercunt counter with a right hand.

Kuznetcov drives through with a takedown into guard.
Kuznetcov distracts Thundercunt with his right hand and drops a big elbow with his other arm.
Thundercunt trying to strike from the bottom but really, it's not the best position to be doing that from!
Kuznetcov won't allow Thundercunt to sweep him here.
Thundercunt knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Kuznetcov on the ground.
Kuznetcov keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Thundercunt's head.
Kuznetcov works over Thundercunt with some ground and pound from guard.
Kuznetcov working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Thundercunt's head.
Kuznetcov has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
Kuznetcov postures up and lands a big shot to Thundercunt's brow.
Thundercunt doesn't do any damage with a couple of strikes from the bottom.
Kuznetcov working from the guard for now, landing some ground and pound.
Kuznetcov is working Thundercunt over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
Thundercunt will have to put a bit more behind his punches if he's going to do any damage from this position.
Thundercunt throwing strikes off his back to little effect.
Kuznetcov lands a couple of digs.
Kuznetcov cracks Thundercunt with a solid left hand.
Thundercunt trying to strike off his back.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Kuznetcov trying to control the position from guard on top but Thundercunt is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Kuznetcov cracks Thundercunt with a solid left hand.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt throwing strikes off his back to little effect.
Thundercunt throws a couple of shots from the bottom but they don't land.
Kuznetcov postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
Thundercunt on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Thundercunt tries to get out of the position.
Thundercunt striking off his back but it's not causing Kuznetcov any problems.
Thundercunt throws some sloppy strikes off his back.
Kuznetcov is in close to Thundercunt's body, working some short punches and elbows.
Kuznetcov with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.

Thundercunt is rocked!
Kuznetcov arches his back and unloads with a massive left and a right! Thundercunt's eyes roll back into his head, he's out cold! The ref dives in to stop the fight - wow, they were hard shots!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:44 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Strikes). Andrey Kuznetcov!
A victorious Andrey Kuznetcov thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.