PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Pillow Hands (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Mickey Darmody (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Mickey Darmody was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Hands
vs
Darmody

210 cm
26
260 lbs
4 - 1 - 0

202 cm
26
268 lbs
5 - 3 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Big right hand

Decent wrestler
Decent boxing
Knockout power

Nuggetori's Nutritionals 10%

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Pillow Hands!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Mickey Darmody!
The judges for this bout are Stewart Dunkirk, Daniel Franklin and Tiny Johnson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Darmody rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Hands cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
We can't be sure of the tactics at this early stage but we have heard that Darmody has been working on his takedowns a lot in the buildup to the fight and we can only assume he's going to look to take this to the mat.
Darmody throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
enabling Hands to counter with a crisp jab.
Hands jabs at Darmody's body.
Darmody misses with a double jab
enabling Hands to counter with a crisp jab.
Darmody tries to bum rush Hands with a series of wild strikes but Hands uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Hands works Darmody's body with a nice hook.
Darmody throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Hands counters with a right hand to the body.
Darmody looks winded!
Darmody throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
and Hands counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Darmody misses with a double jab
and Hands connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Hands connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Darmody takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Hands lunges at Darmody with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Darmody's hand.
Hands lands a nice shot to the body.
Hands lands with a good body shot.
Darmody takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.

Hands closes the distance, clinches up and gets a nice trip takedown into side control. Very smooth.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Hands controls the position.
Darmody tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Darmody wants to get back to his feet but Hands drags him back down.
Darmody is not content to let Hands control the position.
A lull in the action here.
Darmody holds on to Hands's head and controls the position momentarily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.
You can see the frustration on Darmody's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.
Darmody misses with a double jab
and Hands counters with a left to the body.
Hands is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Darmody throws a combination that misses
and Hands connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Darmody throws a series of punches but Hands moves out of range.
Hands is looking light on his feet compared to last time was saw him fight.
Hands throws a body punch but Darmody moves out of range.
Darmody misses with a combination
and Hands counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Hands connects with a crisp jab.
Hands is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Darmody takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hands misses the shot to the body.
Hands punishes Darmody's body with a nice straight punch.
Mickey Darmody seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Hands misses the shot to the body.
Hands ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Darmody moves away.
Darmody looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Hands wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Hands lands with a nice body punch.
Hands's corner calls for a 1-2. Hands obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Hands scores with a crisp jab that stopped Darmody in his tracks.
Hands scores with a jab to the body.
Darmody takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Darmody takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.

Darmody is rocked!
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Darmody stuffs the takedown attempt from Hands. Hands gets slowly back to his feet.
Darmody lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
Darmody is still on wobbly legs! Can Hands finish him?
Darmody leaves Hands with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Darmody seems to have recovered his senses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Hands scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Hands misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Darmody.
Darmody misses with a hook
and Hands counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Hands cracks Darmody with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Darmody throws a right hand that misses
and Hands counters with a huge left! Darmody is in big trouble! He's backing up but Hands isn't giving him chance to recover. Under a barage of punches the ref has to step in to save Darmody from any more damage. A dominating finish by Hands!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:26 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Pillow Hands!
Pillow Hands took to the mic in his post fight interview and said 'Hope my hands tasted damn good, because you won't be able to eat anything else for a while!'.