PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Sloane (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Mrs Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both these guys have solid standup skills and neither is particularly fantastic on the ground, so let's hope for a nice standup war!

Sloane
vs
Thundercunt

195 cm
25
275 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

195 cm
25
265 lbs
1 - 0 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Intelligent

BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Eric Sloane!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Mrs Thundercunt!
The judges for this bout are Santiago Holmes, Bart Greer and Dirk Anderson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Sloane clinches up with Thundercunt and pushes him back against the cage.
Thundercunt doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Sloane displaying some good clinch control by pressing Thundercunt up against the cage.
Sloane blocks a body shot from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Sloane pushes off an throws an elbow but Thundercunt leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Sloane throws a head punch that misses.
Thundercunt looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Thundercunt struggles to land a body shot inside as Sloane controls his hands.
Sloane lands an elbow just above Thundercunt 's eye.

It looks like Mrs Thundercunt has been cut.
Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses.
Thundercunt works on Sloane's body with a couple of short punches.
Thundercunt working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Sloane misses with a hook to the ribs.
Sloane blocking some punches.
Thundercunt working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Thundercunt throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Thundercunt tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Sloane's elbow.
A short right from Thundercunt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses.
Sloane is trying to stall.
Thundercunt misses with a short punch on the inside.
Thundercunt scores with a nice hook to the head.
Still in the clinch, Thundercunt scores with a nice short uppercut.
Thundercunt tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Thundercunt should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.
Sloane landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Thundercunt has a couple of punches blocked by Sloane.
Thundercunt misses with a short punch on the inside.
Thundercunt avoiding damage as Sloane throws knees to the body.
Thundercunt lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Thundercunt lands a right hand that snaps the head of Sloane backwards.
Thundercunt lands with a short shot to the head.
Thundercunt goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Sloane blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Thundercunt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Knees in the clinch landing for Sloane.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Sloane.
Sloane blocks a punch to the side of the head.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Sloane pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Thundercunt.
Thundercunt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
A short right from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt takes an elbow to the forehead.
Thundercunt can't find room to land a body shot as Sloane controls the action.
Thundercunt struggles to land a body shot inside as Sloane controls his hands.
Thundercunt swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Sloane lands a nice knee to the body.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Sloane blocks it.
Thundercunt tries to work over Sloane's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Thundercunt can't find room to land a body shot as Sloane controls the action.
Sloane pressing his opponent against the cage.
Sloane tries to land knees in the clinch but Thundercunt avoids the damage to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Sloane looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Sloane pushes off an throws an elbow but Thundercunt leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Sloane stalling the fight.
Thundercunt working aggressively here.
Sloane trying to control the position but instead, Thundercunt has worked for underhooks and has pushed Sloane into the cage.
The referee is keeping an eye on Sloane - much more stalling and he will separate the fighters.
Sloane throws an elbow but it misses.
Sloane takes a shot to the head.
Thundercunt throws a punch but it's blocked by Sloane.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Sloane blocks it.
Thundercunt tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Sloane's elbow.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Sloane misses with a punch on the inside.
Thundercunt misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Sloane blocks it.
Sloane tries to stall but Thundercunt uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Thundercunt tries to work over Sloane's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Thundercunt misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Thundercunt misses with a punch to the body.
Thundercunt lands a left hand that snaps the head of Sloane backwards.
Thundercunt tries to work over Sloane's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Sloane blocks it.
Sloane lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.

That has opened up Mrs Thundercunt's cut even more.
Thundercunt blocks an elbow strike.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Thundercunt lands with a light punch inside.
A bit of stalling here from Sloane.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Sloane just misses with a elbow thrown towards Thundercunt's brow.
Sloane leaning against his opponent.
Thundercunt misses with the head strike.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mrs Thundercunt dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Mrs Thundercunt's cut.
That's time! Back to the action!

Thundercunt moves into range and connects with a jab.
Thundercunt takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
Thundercunt lands a nice looking body shot.
Thundercunt has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
The fight stays on the outside here - Sloane looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Thundercunt misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Sloane misses with a head kick.
Thundercunt getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Thundercunt takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.

The cut above Mrs Thundercunt's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
Thundercunt circles away from the clinch attempt.
Sloane wants to clinch but Thundercunt slips to the side
and Thundercunt counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Sloane throws a half hearted mid kick.

Thundercunt moves into range and clinches up with Sloane.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Thundercunt misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Thundercunt as Sloane tries to tie him up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Thundercunt tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Sloane stalling in the clinch but Thundercunt improves position.
Sloane blocks an uppercut.
Sloane leaning against his opponent.
Thundercunt misses with a punch on the inside.
A short body shot lands from Thundercunt as the two fighters clinch.
Sloane lands an elbow that stopped Thundercunt in his tracks for a moment.
Mrs Thundercunt seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Thundercunt misses with some punches.
Sloane blocking some punches.
Sloane creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Thundercunt's defenses.

Mrs Thundercunt's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Mrs Thundercunt's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:50 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Eric Sloane!