PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartmen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Matt Black (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartmen comes into the arena with Eric Cartman - Come Sail Away blaring out of the sound system. Black has chosen Bob Marley - Natural Mystic as his entrance music. Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Cartmen
vs
Black

181 cm
27
210 lbs
14 - 10 - 0

192 cm
26
277 lbs
14 - 3 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Powerful takedowns
Decent boxing
Good gas tank

The Empire Clothing and Laundry

THE END 32

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 14 - 10 - 0, fighting out of New York, Eric Cartmen!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Matt Black!
The judges for this bout are Tarja Halkonen, Marco Blurström and Roosa Järviläinen.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Black forces Cartmen back against the cage and clinches.
Black blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Cartmen lands a knee to the body.
Black is working for a takedown up against the cage. He can't get it on this occasion though.
Black jumps guard but Cartmen turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
Cartmen blocking some punches.

Black manages to pull guard. Let's see whether he can land a sub off his back.
Black is controlling Cartmen's posture.
Cartmen has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.
Cartmen wants to control from the top but Black keeps moving.
Cartmen engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.

Black escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Cartmen gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Cartmen showing good wrestling skills to control the position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Black trying to keep a closed guard but Cartmen is proving a slippery customer.

Black looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.

Black has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Cartmen can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Cartmen is stalling in the full guard.
Cartmen won't allow Black to sweep him here.

Black throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.

Black looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Cartmen passes into side control.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
You can see the frustration on Black's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.
Black tries to bench press Cartmen off him but Cartmen keeps the position.
Black is trying to control Cartmen's posture but Cartmen avoids it.
Black prevents Cartmen from moving into mount.
Black can't do much from the bottom here.
Cartmen trying to control the action but Black is working from the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartmen advances nicely into full mount.
Black is desperately trying to get back to half guard.
Cartmen wants to take Black's back but he can't do it this time.
Cartmen trying to control but Black is having none of it.
Black really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Cartmen avoids the attempt from Black to control.
Cartmen controlling from the full mount.
Black wants to hold on but Cartmen pushes him away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Black really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Black is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
Cartmen prevents Black from getting the reversal.
Cartmen content just to control the position here.
Black tries to hold on but Cartmen pushes him away.
Cartmen trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Black is working to get back to half guard.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Cartmen looking to control but Black is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Black prevents Cartmen from taking his back.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartmen dominated that round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Cartmen dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Black throws the kick towards the body but Cartmen avoids it.
Cartmen throws a leg kick but Black sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Black looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Cartmen is fending him off so far but Black persists. Nope, Cartmen circles away and we're back to standing.
Cartmen looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Cartmen throws a nice looking combination but Black bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Black lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
Black with a hook.
Black rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Cartmen moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Cartmen connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Black tries to land a leg kick but Cartmen saw it coming and moves away.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Black pushes Cartmen up against the cage in a clinch.
Black tries for a takedown. No joy.
Cartmen misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Black.
Black tries for a takedown. No joy.
Eric Cartmen has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Matt Black.
Black is working for takedown but Cartmen is calmly controlling the position for now.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Black tries for a takedown. No joy.
Cartmen keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Black's efforts to push away.
Black misses with a body punch.
Cartmen managing to block the knees to the body from Black.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Cartmen.
Cartmen with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.
Black doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Black is working on a leg, looking for a takedown but Cartmen is defending well.
Black is breathing heavily.
Black jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Cartmen walks away with a smile on his face. Black gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
Black looks to throw a body kick
and Cartmen cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Black has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Cartmen.

Black has managed to clinch.
Cartmen lands a damaging elbow.

It looks like Matt Black has been cut.
Cartmen with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Black tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Cartmen just stands there and leans against the cage.
Cartmen connects with a knee to the head.
Black misses with a punch on the inside.
Cartmen lands with a short head shot on the inside.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Black goes for a takedown attempt but Cartmen pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Cartmen throws a sloppy head kick and Black moves out of range easily.
Cartmen keeps Black at a distance using the push kick.
Black misses with a body kick.
Cartmen moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Black shoots in looking for a takedown. Cartmen tries to sprawl out of it but Black keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Cartmen manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.

Black instigates a clinch.
Cartmen working Black over with knees to the body.
Cartmen prevents a takedown attempt there.

Black escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Matt Black seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartmen dodges the punch combination from Black.

Black gets a clinch.
Black throws a head punch that misses.
A nice right hand lands inside from Cartmen.
Cartmen stops a takedown attempt from Black.
Cartmen lands a knee to the body.
Cartmen throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Cartmen is working Black over against the cage.
Cartmen unloads a knee to the mid-section. Black lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
Cartmen leaning his opponent against the cage.
Black struggles to land a body shot inside as Cartmen controls his hands.
Cartmen gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Cartmen with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
A right handed body shot lands from Cartmen.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartmen lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Cartmen lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Cartmen scores with a nice hook to the head.
Cartmen stalling the fight.
Cartmen's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Kneeeeees! The crowd are calling for knees to the body. Cartmen obliges.
Cartmen's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Knees to the body from Cartmen.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Cartmen.
Cartmen is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Black can do to turn this around?
Black is trying to pull guard but Cartmen has him pressed against the cage.
Cartmen scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Cartmen lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Black or not.
Cartmen pushes Black back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Cartmen will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Black up against the cage.
A short right from Cartmen on the inside.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Eric Cartmen dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Matt Black's cut.
That's time! Back to the action! This is the final round!

Cartmen is looking to slow Black down with leg kicks.
A nice inside leg kick there by Cartmen. That's going to slow Black down.
Black connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Cartmen throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Nice uppercut there from Cartmen.
Cartmen throws a front kick that sends Black stumbling back into the cage.
Black shoots in but Cartmen avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Black misses with a combination

and Cartmen counters by clinching up.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Cartmen stalling.
Black letting Cartmen take a breather here.
The crowd are getting pretty annoyed with Cartmen for his constant stalling in the clinch and are voicing their displeasure.
Black is looking to take this one to the mat.
Black changes levels and goes for a takedown here. Cartmen fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Eric Cartmen has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Matt Black.
Black takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

That's one minute gone in the round.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
Cartmen lands a body shot.
Cartmen is trying to wear down his opponent with knees to the body.
Knees in the clinch landing for Cartmen.
Black takes an elbow to the forehead.
Black takes a knee right on the jaw!
Black has hold of a leg and is looking for a trip takedown. Cartmen avoids it nicely though and we remain in the clinch.
Cartmen avoiding damage.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting Cartmen here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
Cartmen lands a nice shot to the body.
Cartmen lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Black tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Cartmen smiles and moves away.
Cartmen with a jab.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartmen moves into range and lands a nice body kick.
Eric Cartmen is winning the standup battle so far.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Cartmen tries a head kick but it misses.
Whack! Cartmen lands a heavy head kick that drops Black. The ref tackles Cartmen to stop the fight - a great save by the referee because Black was done.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:21 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Head Kick). Eric Cartmen!
Eric Cartmen decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.