PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Theodore Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Papa Shango (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The crowd seem to be enjoying Shango's choice of entrance music: Shango Tango. Papa Shango is the more experienced fighter, so let's see if that makes a difference tonight.

Thundercunt
vs
Shango

194 cm
25
245 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

189 cm
25
280 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

Decent wrestler
Solid boxing
KO power

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Solid chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Theodore Thundercunt!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Papa Shango!
The judges for this bout are Sandra Marshall, David Hoff and Daniel Franklin.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A jab lands there for Thundercunt.

It looks like Papa Shango has been cut.
Shango swings and misses with a shot to the body

and Thundercunt moves into the clinch.
Shango misses with a hook to the ribs.
Thundercunt fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Thundercunt blocks an uppercut.
Shango can't find room to land a body shot as Thundercunt controls the action.
Thundercunt looking to slow down the pace here.
Thundercunt throws a punch but it's blocked by Shango.
Thundercunt lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Shango misses with a punch on the inside.
Shango keeps control of Thundercunt as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Shango's coach down at ReEvolution MMA was telling us pre-fight that they have been working on Shango's balance. Obviously they view that as a key factor in the outcome of this fight.
Thundercunt tries a body shot but Shango blocks it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Shango lands a right hand that snaps the head of Thundercunt backwards.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Shango.
A right hook to the body lands for Thundercunt.
Shango blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Shango scores with a shoulder strike.
Shango prevents a body shot from Thundercunt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Shango blocks a body shot from Thundercunt.
Shango tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Shango leaning his opponent against the cage.
A head punch on the inside from Shango fails to land.
Shango lands a left hand that snaps the head of Thundercunt backwards.
Thundercunt is trying to maintain a safe position but Shango gets an underhook and turns Thundercunt into the cage.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Shango.

Thundercunt breaks from the clinch.
Thundercunt darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Thundercunt lands with a nice body punch.
Nice jab there from Thundercunt.

Shango moves into the clinch.
Shango tries a body shot but Thundercunt blocks it.
Shango stalling against the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Shango misses with a short punch on the inside.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Shango creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Shango stalls.
A right handed body shot lands from Shango.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Shango.
Thundercunt misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.
Thundercunt tries to throw a body punch but Shango avoids it by throwing Thundercunt back against the cage.
Stalling in the clinch from Shango.
Shango lands with a light punch inside.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Thundercunt.
Shango softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Thundercunt is leaning against Shango and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Shango misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Thundercunt misses with a shot to the kidneys.

Shango's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.

Shango drives through and clinches with Thundercunt against the cage.
Shango blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Thundercunt definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Thundercunt displaying some good clinch control by pressing Shango up against the cage.
Shango can't find room to land a body shot as Thundercunt controls the action.
A right hook to the body lands for Shango.
A short right from Shango on the inside.
A short right from Shango.
Thundercunt misses with a short punch on the inside.
A nice right hand lands inside from Thundercunt.
Shango swings wildly with an uppercut but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Shango lands a hook that snaps the head of Thundercunt backwards.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Thundercunt tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Shango stalling the fight.
Still in the clinch, Thundercunt scores with a nice short uppercut.
Shango gets through Thundercunt's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Shango throws a punch but it's blocked by Thundercunt.
Shango scores with a shot to the side of Thundercunt's head.
Shango stalling.
Thundercunt blocks an uppercut.
Thundercunt struggles to land a body shot inside as Shango controls his hands.
Thundercunt lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Thundercunt tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Shango works on Thundercunt's body with a couple of short punches.
Shango blocking some punches.
Thundercunt blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Shango misses with some punches.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Papa Shango dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Papa Shango's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Shango moves out of range of the strikes.
Shango wants to counter the offense by Thundercunt and move into the clinch position.
A jab from Thundercunt misses.
Thundercunt slips a jab and a cross from Shango.
Shango defending well as Thundercunt loads up on a big left hand.
Shango throws out a counter right but Thundercunt avoids it with no problem.
Shango looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Shango throws a series of punches but Thundercunt avoids them all with ease.
Shango is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
Theodore Thundercunt seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
A slow jab from Shango misses its intended target.
It looked like Thundercunt was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Shango.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Shango throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt scores with a jab to the body.
Shango keeps the fight on the outside.
Thundercunt ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Shango moves away.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Thundercunt just misses with a punch to the body.
Shango on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Thundercunt throws a looping overhand right but Shango ducks down to avoid it.

Thundercunt gets in close and instigates a clinch.
A frustrated look appears on Thundercunt's face as he tries to break the clinch.
Thundercunt struggles to land a body shot inside as Shango controls his hands.
Thundercunt misses with some punches.
Shango lands a body punch in the clinch.
Shango swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Shango blocking some punches.
Thundercunt blocks an uppercut.
Thundercunt misses with a punch to the body.
Shango throws a head punch that misses.
Shango lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Thundercunt backwards.
Shango has a couple of punches blocked by Thundercunt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Shango lands a right hand that snaps the head of Thundercunt backwards.
Shango working aggressively here.
Thundercunt misses with some punches.
Thundercunt blocking some punches.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Thundercunt.
Shango wants to stall.
Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses.
Shango lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Thundercunt or not.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Thundercunt goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Thundercunt working aggressively here.
Thundercunt tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Shango misses with a punch on the inside.
Shango swings away with an uppercut that misses.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Thundercunt creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Thundercunt creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Shango lands with a right to the head.
Shango throws a punch but it's blocked by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt misses with a short punch on the inside.
A head punch on the inside from Shango fails to land.
Thundercunt takes a shot to the head.
Shango stalling in the clinch.
Thundercunt lands a hook that snaps the head of Shango backwards.
Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses.
Shango works on Thundercunt's body with a couple of short punches.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch.
Shango throws a head punch that misses.
Shango scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Papa Shango seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Thundercunt blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Shango swings wildly with an uppercut but Thundercunt uses good head movement to avoid it.
Shango blocking some punches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Shango.
Shango blocks a punch to the side of the head.
A short uppercut from Thundercunt.

That has opened up Papa Shango's cut even more.
Shango is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
A nice left hand lands by Shango.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Shango has a couple of punches blocked by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.
Thundercunt tries to work over Shango's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Shango takes a shot to the head.
Thundercunt lands a left hand that snaps the head of Shango backwards.
Shango misses with a hook from the clinch.
Thundercunt is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Thundercunt can't find room to land a body shot as Shango controls the action.
Shango misses with a punch to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Theodore Thundercunt will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Papa Shango's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Shango thuds his right hand into Thundercunt's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Thundercunt avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Shango just misses with a punch to the body.
Thundercunt throws out a powerful jab.
Thundercunt throws a right hand that misses
and Shango counters with a stiff right hand.

It looks like Theodore Thundercunt has been cut.
A shot to the body from Thundercunt misses
and Shango counters with a big right hand! Oh Thundercunt is in trouble here! Shango follows up with more strikes and that's it! The ref has stopped it!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:31 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Papa Shango!
A very excited looking Papa Shango rambled incoherently for about 5 minutes post fight about how awesome he is. It was kinda funny for a while but then everyone got annoyed.