PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Mr Squirell (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Alois Huber (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Squirell kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Do Ya Think I'm Sexy-Revolting Cocks. Mr Squirell is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Squirell
vs
Huber

184 cm
26
180 lbs
0 - 3 - 0

185 cm
20
185 lbs
1 - 3 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Decent elbows
Good chin

BJJ Purple Belt
Decent boxing
Very confident

GREEN!160

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Mr Squirell!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 3 - 0, fighting out of London, Alois Huber!
The judges for this bout are Robert Twigg, Cecil Peabody and Gwen Towbar.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Squirell closes the distance and clinches.

Huber wants the takedown. Squirell is fighting it off but Huber persists and manages to bring the fight to the ground, ending up in Squirell's guard against the cage.
Huber works over Squirell with some ground and pound from guard.
Squirell is looking to stand up but Huber isn't so interested in that idea.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Huber lands a couple of digs.

Huber drops back looking for a leg! Squirell is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Squirell manages to kick Huber off! Huber jumps back into Squirell's guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Huber is working Squirell over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
Squirell knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Huber on the ground.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Huber works over Squirell with some ground and pound from guard.
Huber landing with the ground and pound.
Huber with a couple of shots to the head there. Not particularly brutal.
Huber works over Squirell with some ground and pound from guard.
Huber trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Huber decides to stand up and beckons his opponent to follow.
Squirell is looking to clinch but Huber is avoiding it.
Huber tries to counter with a clinch but Squirell shakes him off and moves away.
Squirell throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Huber sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Huber with the counter takedown but Squirell avoids it easily.
Squirell throws a head kick that misses.
Squirell misses with a looping left.
Squirell throws a body kick that misses

and Huber counters with a single leg into guard. Squirell didn't expect that.
Huber is working the ground and pound from guard. He might want to try advancing position though to get more of an impact.

Squirell is rocked!
Huber lands a nice shot whilst sitting in his opponent's guard.
Oh Squirell is still in real trouble! Will he be able to recover?!!
Huber gets to his feet and stands over Squirell, holding his ankles. He dives in with a big left hand that connects! Squirell felt that one! Huber unloads more punches and elbows and this one is over! The ref has dived in to save Squirell from any more punishment!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:54 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Alois Huber!
Alois Huber very nearly forgot to thank Humanoid Nutrition (160Q for 200$) amongst all the excitement of his win but just as the interview came to a close, he screamed their name. Hopefully he'll get a few nice freebies in the mail as a thank you.
In defeat, Mr Squirell stepped up to the mic, saying '"Wonder how much he paid the ref."'.