PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Noam Chomsky (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Adam Yauch (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chomsky kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is System Of A Down BYOB. Yauch has chosen Fight For Your Right To Party as his entrance music. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

Chomsky
vs
Yauch

182 cm
37
177 lbs
24 - 9 - 0

184 cm
33
179 lbs
27 - 15 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 24 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Noam Chomsky!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 27 - 15 - 0, fighting out of London, Adam Yauch!
The judges for this bout are Ben Hemmingworth, Steve Erwin and Francis DeMontford.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A shot to the body from Yauch misses
and Chomsky counters with a nice leg kick.
Yauch pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Chomsky checks a leg kick nicely.
Chomsky tries to counter by clinching up but Yauch breaks away and moves out of range.
Chomsky wants to clinch.
Chomsky ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Yauch throws a mid kick that lands with a slap.
Yauch attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Chomsky half committed to a counter leg kick.
Yauch misses the shot to the body.
A solid leg kick lands there for Yauch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Donk. Yauch catches Chomsky right on the button with a cross.
Chomsky lands with a good body shot.
Yauch takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Chomsky takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Yauch throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Chomsky sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Chomsky is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Jab from Yauch.
Yauch checks the leg kick nicely there.
Yauch looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Yauch walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Chomsky checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Yauch scores with a nice head shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Chomsky has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Chomsky there as he acknowledges the shot.
Chomsky with a lazy takedown attempt
and Yauch counters with a left to the body.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Chomsky tries to close the distance and clinch but Yauch swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Chomsky with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Yauch to score with a decent uppercut.
Yauch looks to land a body kick but Chomsky moved away.
Yauch swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Chomsky quickly followed up with a counter body kick but doesn't connect.
Chomsky lands a jab to the head.
Chomsky slips under a jab from Yauch.
Yauch pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Adam Yauch seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Yauch throws a sloppy body shot
and Chomsky counters with a stiff right hand.
Yauch turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Yauch throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Chomsky on the side of the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Chomsky misses with a wild body shot.
Yauch throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Nice uppercut lands for Yauch. That snapped Chomsky's head back.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Chomsky.
Chomsky feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Yauch's calf.
Chomsky moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
Yauch jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Chomsky throwing a counter right hand but Yauch manages to avoid it.
Yauch lands a brutal head kick. Chomsky looks out on his feet and Yauch throws more strikes until the ref is forced to stop the fight!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:45 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Kick and Punches). Adam Yauch!
A relieved looking Adam Yauch thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
In defeat, Noam Chomsky stepped up to the mic, saying 'If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.'.