PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Vijay Singh (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants has chosen Deathly Quiet as his entrance music. Well, the cameraman is lingering on a pretty young lady for a bit too long there. Keep your eyes on the prize buddy or you'll miss the fighter intros!

Singh
vs
PoopyPants

186 cm
30
204 lbs
13 - 6 - 1

197 cm
34
222 lbs
27 - 14 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Spartan Nutrition
GREEN!160

GREEN!160

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 13 - 6 - 1, fighting out of Los Angeles, Vijay Singh!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 27 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, BitchFace PoopyPants!
The judges for this bout are Phil Schofield, Paul Tew and Steven Brown.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
PoopyPants misses with a body shot.
Singh throws a leg kick which misses PoopyPants's front leg but catches the back leg as PoopyPants tries to avoid it.
Singh scores to the head and body with a nice combination!
PoopyPants scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
PoopyPants blocks a head kick by Singh.
We've been told by Singh's head coaches at Bloodsport Gym 16 Elites that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Singh lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
PoopyPants has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
Singh misses with a head kick.
PoopyPants on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.

Singh tries to sprawl but PoopyPants drives through with a takedown into half guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!
PoopyPants seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Singh does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

PoopyPants is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Singh doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time PoopyPants.

PoopyPants is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.

That's one minute gone in the round.

PoopyPants is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Singh defends it well.
Singh is trying to stand back up but PoopyPants is controlling him
PoopyPants not landing any meaningful shots this time.

PoopyPants is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
PoopyPants seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.

PoopyPants is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.
PoopyPants controlling the pace.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Singh avoids the body shot from PoopyPants.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Singh.
Singh avoids the body shot from PoopyPants.
Singh goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
PoopyPants throws a jab but it's blocked by Singh.

Singh moves into range and clinches up with PoopyPants.
PoopyPants blocking some punches.
Singh takes an elbow to the forehead.

PoopyPants jumps guard.
PoopyPants wants to sweep but no luck.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Singh wants to stand but PoopyPants is controlling his posture from full guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Singh stands up from PoopyPants's guard - Singh perhaps looking for a knockout.
Singh fakes a jab and throws a low kick but PoopyPants checks it well.
PoopyPants throws a body punch but Singh moves out of range.
Singh bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
PoopyPants throws a hook but Singh avoids it easily.
As PoopyPants looks to move away, Singh throws a big counter combo bu PoopyPants just gets out of the way.
PoopyPants loads up on a big right hand but Singh slips the punch.
Singh uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up.
Singh misses with a two punch combination.
PoopyPants shoots in for a double leg but Singh sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
Singh thuds his right hand into PoopyPants's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
PoopyPants fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Singh avoids it really well and circles away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A combination from Singh does no damage.
Singh looks to land a combination but PoopyPants avoids it well.
PoopyPants lands with a hook. Singh tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Singh keeps the fight on the outside.
PoopyPants swings widly with a right hand
and Singh counters with a big head kick but PoopyPants shrugs it off.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Singh tries to clinch there but PoopyPants circles away.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Singh does a little dance to reset his feet.
PoopyPants throws a head kick that misses.
PoopyPants dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
PoopyPants misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
A slow jab from PoopyPants misses its intended target.
Singh moves out of range of the strikes.
Singh was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Singh uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from PoopyPants.
Singh lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.

PoopyPants drives through with a takedown into Singh's guard. Let's see what he can do from the top position.
Singh is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Vijay Singh will probably get the nod.
That's time! Back to the action!

PoopyPants gets the takedown into side control.
Singh is trying to get back to half guard.
PoopyPants throws a knee to the body but it doesn't do much damage.
Singh is trying to stand back up. He's worked his way up against the cage but PoopyPants has just dragged him back down to the mat.
PoopyPants trying to control the position but Singh is working away.
PoopyPants working the ground and pound but he's contacting the mat, not the fighter.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
PoopyPants throwing shots but missing, from side control.
Singh gives up the full mount - oops, sloppy defensive grappling there!
PoopyPants tries to control but Singh wriggling away.
Singh might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants fails to advance to Singh's back.
Singh is squirming around, avoiding PoopyPants's attempts to control the action.
Singh avoids a series of strikes thrown by PoopyPants.

PoopyPants moves into side control, trying to work for a kimura. That looks painful! Will he finish!!?? No, Singh has worked his arm free - good work by Singh!
Singh tries to escape but PoopyPants is in control.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Singh tries to bench press PoopyPants off him but PoopyPants keeps the position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

PoopyPants looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Vijay Singh is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
PoopyPants blocks a head kick by Singh.
Singh looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
PoopyPants connects with a body shot that sends Singh's belly button to the back.
Nice takedown defense from Singh. No joy for PoopyPants on that attempt.
Singh staying out of range there.
PoopyPants looks to land a combination but Singh avoids it well.
The fight stays on the outside here - PoopyPants looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Singh misses with a head kick.
No joy there for PoopyPants, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
PoopyPants tries a head kick but it misses.
PoopyPants steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Singh.
Singh shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A shot to the liver by Singh. Beautiful body shot.
Singh throws a quick inside leg kick.
PoopyPants cracks a nice hook into Singh's ribs.
A punch combination from Singh misses.
Singh lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Vijay Singh is winning the standup battle so far.
Singh lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.

PoopyPants rushes Singh and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
PoopyPants goes for a takedown in the clinch but Singh prevents it.
PoopyPants has Singh pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Singh manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
Vijay Singh has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of BitchFace PoopyPants.
Singh softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
PoopyPants lands with a left to the head.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!

PoopyPants manages to break the clinch.
Singh throws a solid leg kick but PoopyPants takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Singh.
PoopyPants moves forwards but Singh connects with a nice, crisp jab.
PoopyPants looks to land a left hand but Singh moved out of range nicely.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Singh lands a jab followed by a nice looking cross.
Singh sizes up PoopyPants with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Nice body punch from PoopyPants.
Nice defenses there by PoopyPants.
Singh looks to throw the jab but PoopyPants is out of range.
PoopyPants fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
PoopyPants fails to land with a series of punches.
PoopyPants moves in looking to clinch but Singh pushes him off.
Singh moves into range and throws a lovely three punch combination.
PoopyPants connects with a body shot.
PoopyPants changes levels and looks for a double leg takedown. Singh tries to avoid it but PoopyPants manages to keep hold of a leg and drag Singh to the ground. Singh escapes though and pops straight back up to his feet.
PoopyPants with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Singh to score with a decent uppercut.
PoopyPants misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Singh counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.

PoopyPants shoots in and scores a nice double leg takedown into half guard.
PoopyPants is breathing heavily.

PoopyPants is working for a kimura from half guard. He's really concentrating on the hold and it's allowed Singh to slip a leg under and get back to full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Vijay Singh will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Singh fakes high and swings low for a body shot but PoopyPants manages to avoid it.
Singh walks into a jab.
Singh scores with a nice body kick.
Singh looks to throw the jab but PoopyPants is out of range.
A shot to the liver by Singh. Beautiful body shot.
Singh fails to land with a series of punches.
PoopyPants looks like he wanted to counter with a high kick but didn't throw it.
PoopyPants tries to close the distance and clinch up but Singh swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Singh was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Singh takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Singh tries to close the distance and clinch up but PoopyPants swats him away and circles back towards the center.

Singh has managed to clinch.
PoopyPants misses with a shot to the kidneys.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
PoopyPants blocks a body shot from Singh.
Singh can't find room to land a body shot as PoopyPants controls the action.
PoopyPants is trying to stall.

PoopyPants escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
PoopyPants takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants connects with a body shot.
Singh leaves PoopyPants with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Singh scores with a jab to the body.
Singh lands the left hand.
Vijay Singh is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
A swing and a miss from PoopyPants.
Singh avoids the body shot from PoopyPants.
Singh is looking to counter punch.
PoopyPants lands a right hook to the body.

PoopyPants scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.

Singh kicks PoopyPants off and gets back to his feet.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Singh dodges the punch combination from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Singh fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches PoopyPants on the side of the head.
BitchFace PoopyPants has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Singh lands a jab-cross combination.
PoopyPants throws a jab but it's blocked by Singh.
An inside leg kick lands from Singh.
Singh looks to score with a jab to the body but PoopyPants is just out of range.
Singh will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
PoopyPants misses with a body shot.
PoopyPants moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
A solid leg kick lands there for Singh.
PoopyPants slips a straight right by Singh.
Nice straight punches there by Singh. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Singh.
The fight stays on the outside here - Singh looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
PoopyPants unleashes a big counter combination but Singh bobs and weaves and avoids any damage.
Horrible takedown attempt by PoopyPants or perhaps it was just good defense by Singh, which made it look bad.
PoopyPants just manages to avoid a counter high kick fromSingh.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Singh wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Singh lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
A right-left combo lands from Singh.
PoopyPants misses with a straight right.
Singh looked to counter that last move with a leg kick but didn't pull the trigger.

Singh has closed the distance and engaged PoopyPants in a clinch.
PoopyPants misses with some punches.
PoopyPants works on Singh's body with a couple of short punches.
Singh is working PoopyPants over against the cage.

PoopyPants breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
No joy there for Singh, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Singh punishes PoopyPants's body with a nice straight punch.
Singh tries to clinch up.
PoopyPants wants to counter the offense by Singh and move into the clinch position.

Singh takes the fight into the clinch.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!

PoopyPants breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Singh moves away.
Singh was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
PoopyPants walks into a straight right hand from Singh.
PoopyPants ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Singh moves away.
Decent striking displayed by PoopyPants there.
Singh throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Singh uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by PoopyPants.
Singh lands a really nice looking cross but PoopyPants seems unphased.
PoopyPants on the wrong end of a nice jab.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Singh manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Singh with a nice cross.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Singh does a little dance to reset his feet.
Singh throws out a powerful jab.
PoopyPants uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Singh.
Good leg kick by Singh there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Singh keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from PoopyPants.

And that's the end of the fight!
Vijay Singh showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Singh, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Phil Schofield scores the fight 30:27
Judge Paul Tew scores the fight 30:27
Judge Steven Brown scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Vijay Singh!
Vijay Singh seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.