PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Vlad The Impaler (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Chester Man (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). The Impaler's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Blues Saraceno - Dogs of War. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

The Impaler
vs
Man

178 cm
38
178 lbs
35 - 19 - 3

186 cm
28
181 lbs
14 - 8 - 0

Good wrestling
Lethal high kicks
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Great elbows
Granite chin

Spartan Nutrition
KAISER Nutrition (160!/220$)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, for the welterweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 35 - 19 - 3, fighting out of New York, Vlad The Impaler!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 8 - 0, fighting out of London, Chester Man!
The judges for this bout are Donald Grub, Sam Margolis and Andrew Berry.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Man blocks a leg kick.
The fighters circle momentarily. The Impaler darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Man throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
The Impaler throws a leg kick that is checked
and Man connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
The Impaler buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Man tries a low kick but The Impaler avoids it.
Man swings for the body but The Impaler moves out of range.
The Impaler tried to counter with a leg kick but Man avoided it.
The Impaler moves away from the strike by Man.
The Impaler is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
The Impaler swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Man throws a shot from downtown. The Impaler moves away and avoids it.
A chopping leg kick lands by The Impaler.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Man takes a kick to the side of the head.
That kick from The Impaler tenderised Man's leg. Man is trying to keep his angry face on.
Man connects with a body shot that sends The Impaler's belly button to the back.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Man throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Nice uppercut lands for Man. That snapped The Impaler's head back.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Man fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.

The Impaler gets tackled into the cage by Man. Man maintains the clinch.
Man blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
The Impaler struggles to land a body shot inside as Man controls his hands.
A quick uppercut on the inside from The Impaler.

It looks like Chester Man has been cut.
Man has a couple of punches blocked by The Impaler.
Man taking a breather.
Man lands a body punch.
Man blocks a body shot from The Impaler.
The Impaler lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
The Impaler lands a left hand that snaps the head of Man backwards.
The Impaler has a couple of punches blocked by Man.
Man lands with a left to the head.
The Impaler tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Man's elbow.

Man breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Vlad The Impaler seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
The Impaler tries to clinch there but Man circles away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The Impaler doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.

Man has closed the distance and engaged The Impaler in a clinch.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Man lands with a short head shot on the inside.

Man manages to break the clinch.
Man connects with an inside leg kick.
Man pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Man misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Man takes a shot right to the bread basket.
A low kick from The Impaler misses
and Man connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
The Impaler fails in his attempt to clinch.
The Impaler thows a left - swing and a miss!
Man attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
A swing and a miss from Man.
The Impaler fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Man has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Man checks a low kick from The Impaler.
A slapping leg kick lands for Man.
Man walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
An inside leg kick lands from The Impaler.

Man moves into range and clinches up with The Impaler.
Man pushes The Impaler back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Man leaning his opponent against the cage.
The Impaler misses with a hook to the ribs.
Man prevents a body shot from The Impaler.
The Impaler working aggressively here.
Man tried to land a shot to the body but connects with The Impaler's elbow.
Man wants to stall.
Good body shot from The Impaler.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The Impaler blocks a punch to the side of the head.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
The Impaler misses with the head strike.
A right handed body shot lands from The Impaler.
Man swings away with an uppercut that misses.
The Impaler tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Man's elbow.
A head punch blocked on the inside by The Impaler.
Man is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Man lands a hook that snaps the head of The Impaler backwards.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
The Impaler goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
The Impaler tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Man's elbow.
The Impaler throws a head punch that misses.
Man lands on the inside with an uppercut.
The Impaler lands with a right to the head.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Chester Man dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Chester Man's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

The Impaler is looking to take this fight into the clinch.

The Impaler has taken the fight to the clinch.
The Impaler lands a left hand.
Man tries to stall but The Impaler uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
The Impaler tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Man blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Man pressing his opponent against the cage.
Man misses with a short punch on the inside.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Man taking a breather.
The Impaler misses with a hook from the clinch.
The Impaler working aggressively here.
The Impaler misses with a short punch on the inside.
The Impaler swings away with an uppercut that misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The Impaler lands a left hand that snaps the head of Man backwards.
A head punch on the inside from Man fails to land.
Man misses with a hook from the clinch.
The Impaler tries to work over Man's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
The Impaler misses with the head strike.
Man blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
The Impaler swings away with an uppercut that misses.
The Impaler doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Man tries a body shot but The Impaler blocks it.
A quick uppercut on the inside from The Impaler.
Man pushes The Impaler back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
The Impaler has a couple of punches blocked by Man.
Man is trying to break free.
A head punch blocked on the inside by The Impaler.
Man makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
The Impaler misses with a body punch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The Impaler misses with a short punch on the inside.
Man content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Man blocks a punch to the side of the head.
The Impaler misses with a hook to the ribs.
The Impaler misses with a hook to the ribs.
The Impaler misses with a body punch.
Man throws a head punch that misses.
The Impaler tries a body shot but Man blocks it.
The Impaler blocks an uppercut.
Man looking to slow down the pace here.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Man blocks a punch to the side of the head.
The Impaler misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Man tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Man misses with the head strike.
A short left from Man.
The Impaler has a couple of punches blocked by Man.
Man blocks a punch to the side of the head.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Man.
A short right hand to the side of the head by The Impaler.
The Impaler fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
The Impaler lands a right hand that snaps the head of Man backwards.
Man is trying to maintain a safe position but The Impaler gets an underhook and turns Man into the cage.
Man tries to throw a body punch but The Impaler avoids it by throwing Man back against the cage.
The Impaler working aggressively here.
Man swings away with an uppercut that misses.
A left hand lands to the body for The Impaler.
Vlad The Impaler has scored more points in the clinch so far.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for The Impaler.
The Impaler has a couple of punches blocked by Man.
The referee calls for Man to work.
The Impaler working aggressively here.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Man breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Man tries to bum rush The Impaler with a series of wild strikes but The Impaler uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Man clobbers The Impaler with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Man attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Man with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
That kick from Man tenderised The Impaler's leg. The Impaler is trying to keep his angry face on.
Man avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Man throws a leg kick
and The Impaler counters with a slapping leg kick.
No joy there for Man, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
The Impaler misses the jab.

Man gets tackled into the cage by The Impaler. The Impaler maintains the clinch.
The Impaler misses with a hook from the clinch.
The Impaler misses with a punch on the inside.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Vlad The Impaler dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Chester Man's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

The Impaler throws a right hand that misses
enabling Man to counter with a crisp jab.
The Impaler attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
The Impaler is looking to clinch.
Man slips a jab from The Impaler.
Despite the aggression on Man's face he doesn't fully commit to the counter.
Man throws a lazy uppercut
and The Impaler counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
The Impaler cracks Man with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Man's corner calls for a 1, 2 combination and Man duly obliges.
The Impaler takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Jab, jab by Man - just one landing.
Man takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Man swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
The Impaler throws a low kick, looking for Man's leg but Man calmly moves out of range.
The Impaler misses with a low kick as Man jumps back.
Man flicks out a counter leg kick but The Impaler steps away.
Man tries to score with a low kick but The Impaler moves his leg out of the way.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The Impaler fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Man has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from The Impaler lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Man has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Man and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
A low kick from The Impaler is predictable there
and Man counters with a nice kick to the body.
Man connects with a right hand. The Impaler shakes it off.
Man lands an overhand right.
A solid leg kick lands there for The Impaler.
Man has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
The Impaler throws a leg kick which misses Man's front leg but catches the back leg as Man tries to avoid it.
Man scores with a nice right hand.
A good leg kick by The Impaler.
The Impaler moves out of range as Man strikes.
Man scores with the left hand. The Impaler knows he should have avoided that one.
Man throws a nice inside leg kick.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Man avoids the body shot from The Impaler.
The Impaler chopping away at his opponent's legs.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Man gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
The Impaler doesn't manage to clinch there - Man circles away.
The Impaler scores with a leg kick.
The Impaler looks to land a right hand but Man moved out of range.
The Impaler throws a lazy right hand but Man sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
The Impaler takes a kick to the side of the head.

It looks like Vlad The Impaler has been cut.
Man misses with a looping right.
Man fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
The Impaler dodges the punch combination from Man.
A jab from Man misses.
The Impaler takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
The Impaler throws a leg kick but Man sees it coming and moves out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Man walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Chester Man is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Nice body punch from Man.
A decent looking cross lands there for Man.
Jab from Man.
Man's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
The Impaler ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
A leg kick checked by The Impaler.
The Impaler takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Man fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
The Impaler scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
An inside leg kick from The Impaler misses.
Man throws a jab when The Impaler was well out of range.
Man lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
The Impaler thows a left - swing and a miss!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Man throws a poor cross that misses
and The Impaler counters with a leg kick.
The Impaler lands with a good body shot.
Man misses with a hook
and The Impaler counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
The Impaler lands a head shot.
Man walks into a straight right hand from The Impaler.
The Impaler throws a leg kick
and Man counters with a leg kick.
The Impaler ducks under a wild hook from Man.
Man misses with a body shot.
The Impaler throws a low kick, looking for Man's leg but Man calmly moves out of range.
Man scores with a shot to the body.
Man lands a right hook to the body.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Man cracks the inside of The Impaler's front leg.
Man takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.

And that's the end of the fight!
Chester Man comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Man has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Donald Grub scores the fight 28:29
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 28:29
Judge Andrew Berry scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Chester Man! Chester Man retains his welterweight title!
Chester Man gave a mention to Vandal Fight Boutique & Laundry (93%) in his post fight interview. That will please them (and hopefully generate some sales).
The defeated Vlad The Impaler had this to say: 'The fight shouldve been for the title!!!!! Muntz you got lucky again!!!'.