PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight kickboxing rules bout between Niles Vertebral (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Sebastian Szczesny (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Vertebral's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, The Batman | Joker Is Going Down. Szczesny has chosen Da Circle | Napalm Ft Immortal Technique as his entrance music, which hasn't gone down very well with the crowd. We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Vertebral
vs
Szczesny

175 cm
18
160 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

225 cm
25
170 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

Excellent boxer
Big heart

Lethal high kicks
Heavy handed

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 2 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Niles Vertebral!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Sebastian Szczesny!
The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Dirk Anderson and David Hoff.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Szczesny takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Szczesny tries to clinch up.
An attempted straight right counter from Vertebral misses the target.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Vertebral lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Szczesny has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Szczesny and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Szczesny cracks Vertebral with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Szczesny wants to clinch.
Vertebral misses with a wild body shot.
Vertebral throws a hook to the side of Szczesny's head but Szczesny sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Vertebral tries to work over Szczesny's front leg with a kick but Szczesny checks it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Szczesny throws a low kick but Vertebral moves out of range easily.
Vertebral takes a swing at Szczesny's ribcage but misses.
A slow jab from Szczesny misses its intended target.
Vertebral finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Szczesny slips under a jab from Vertebral.
Szczesny tries to counter by closing the distance.
Szczesny keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Vertebral.
Szczesny checks a leg kick nicely.

Szczesny moves into the clinch.
Vertebral wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Szczesny has him pressed against the cage.
Szczesny has Vertebral pressed against the cage, preventing Vertebral from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Vertebral blocks an uppercut.
Szczesny presses Vertebral against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Szczesny is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Szczesny fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Szczesny fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Szczesny lands an elbow that stopped Vertebral in his tracks for a moment.
Vertebral is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Vertebral goes for a body shot but it's blocked.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Vertebral blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Szczesny scores with a shoulder strike.
Szczesny tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Szczesny.
Szczesny pushes Vertebral back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Szczesny.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Szczesny prevents Vertebral from breaking the clinch.
Szczesny scores with an uppercut up the middle.

Vertebral is rocked!
Vertebral stalling in the clinch but Szczesny improves position.
Oh Vertebral is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Szczesny lands an elbow inside that Vertebral shrugs off.
Szczesny misses with a punch to the body.
Szczesny lands a body punch in the clinch.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Szczesny.

It looks like Niles Vertebral has been cut.
Szczesny gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Szczesny gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Szczesny.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Szczesny can't find room to land a body shot as Vertebral controls the action.
Szczesny gets through Vertebral's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
A head punch on the inside from Vertebral fails to land.
Szczesny working aggressively here.
Vertebral can't break the clinch.
Szczesny has Vertebral pressed against the cage, preventing Vertebral from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Vertebral tries to break the clinch but Szczesny is controlling the position.
Szczesny lands an elbow inside that Vertebral shrugs off.
Szczesny lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Szczesny scores with a shoulder strike.
Szczesny creates a bit of space for himself and unleashed what can only be described as a tiger uppercut, straight out of Street Fighter! Vertebral crashes to the mat! Can he make it back to his feet in time? 3,4,5,6... it doesn't look like he's going to make it! Vertebral face plants back to the mat and the referee calls off the fight! Szczesny takes it with a brutal technical knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:46 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punch). Sebastian Szczesny!
A very excited looking Sebastian Szczesny made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.
Niles Vertebral spoke after the fight, saying 'To Sebastian, tough fight tonight, man. Good thing for you that I don't want to die without any scars. Till next time, bro.'.