PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Arne Kjolby (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Clark Griswold (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kjolby's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, Killing in the name of.... Griswold is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION. Both these guys have really solid chins. Will we see a standup war or will they both decide that a knockout is unlikely and try to win the fight elsewhere?

Kjolby
vs
Griswold

225 cm
31
280 lbs
12 - 5 - 0

190 cm
32
285 lbs
12 - 6 - 0

BJJ Brown Belt
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

BJJ Purple Belt
World class MT
Good gas tank

Sun-Tzu

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Arne Kjolby!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 12 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Clark Griswold!
The judges for this bout are Paul Aken, Aafke Stam and Radbod Blank.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Griswold feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Kjolby's calf.
Kjolby misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Griswold.
Kjolby misses with a looping left.
Griswold swinging wildly here.
Kjolby misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Griswold throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Griswold wants to clinch
and Griswold takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Griswold tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
It looked like Kjolby was trying to counter with a body shot coming off that last attack from Griswold.
Kjolby lands a nice hook to Griswold's body. Griswold takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Kjolby takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Griswold ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Kjolby moves away.
A little feinted left hand from Kjolby on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Kjolby throws a head kick that half lands.
Kjolby connects with a jab.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Kjolby misses with a head kick.
Griswold throws a looping overhand right but Kjolby ducks down to avoid it.
Griswold with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kjolby ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Griswold moves away.
Griswold looks to land a body kick but Kjolby moved away.
Griswold misses with a right hand
and Kjolby counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Griswold moves out of range of the strikes.
Kjolby tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Kjolby throws a front kick that sends Griswold stumbling back into the cage.
Griswold takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Kjolby is looking to land body kicks.
Kjolby fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Griswold manages to avoid it.
Kjolby missing with a left hand there. Griswold was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Kjolby throws a sloppy head kick and Griswold moves out of range easily.
Griswold has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Kjolby finds it's way round the side to connect with Griswold's head.
Kjolby connects with a good right hand that stumbles Griswold. Griswold circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Kjolby misses with a left hand
and Griswold connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Griswold moves out of range of the body kick.
Kjolby ducks under a wild hook from Griswold.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kjolby pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Kjolby throws a half hearted mid kick.
Kjolby is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Griswold tries to clinch but Kjolby is having none of it.
Kjolby lands a nice shot that snaps Griswold's head back.
Griswold takes one on the button.
Kjolby misses with a head kick.
A jab lands there for Kjolby.
Griswold misses with a looping left.
Griswold throws an off balance right hand
and Kjolby connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Kjolby throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
And Griswold responds with a good body kick, but Kjolby manages to step out the way in time.
Griswold throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Kjolby sees it coming and avoids it easily.
A big right from Kjolby misses.
Griswold throws a lazy uppercut
and Kjolby counters with a left to the body.
Griswold misses with a hook
and Kjolby counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Kjolby misses with a looping left.
Griswold connects with a leg kick. Kjolby looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kjolby does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Griswold tries to clinch but fails miserably
and Kjolby counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.

It looks like Clark Griswold has been cut.
Griswold bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Griswold tries to work over Kjolby's front leg with a kick but Kjolby checks it.
Kjolby blocks a head kick by Griswold.
Kjolby misses with a hook. Griswold ducked under it nicely.
Griswold plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Kjolby scores with a jab to the body.
Griswold throws out a loose jab but Kjolby uses good head movement to avoid it.
Griswold gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Kjolby tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Griswold was well out of range. Poor timing from Kjolby.
Griswold takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Kjolby throws a sloppy head kick and Griswold moves out of range easily.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Griswold swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
A jab from Kjolby finds it's way through Griswold's defenses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kjolby throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Griswold sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Clark Griswold seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Griswold pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Kjolby lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Jab from Kjolby.
Kjolby is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
Kjolby connects with a crisp jab.
Griswold misses with a looping right.
Griswold tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Griswold is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Kjolby fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Griswold.
Kjolby throws out a leg kick but Griswold moves out of range and Kjolby only half commits.
Kjolby with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Kjolby motions for Griswold to come forward. Kjolby throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Griswold bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Kjolby's head backwards.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Kjolby lands a nice looking kick to the body. Griswold takes a step back to recover.
Griswold throws an overhand right that lands on Kjolby's shoulder, as Kjolby tries to avoid the shot.
Kjolby swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Griswold blocks a head kick by Kjolby.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Arne Kjolby dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Clark Griswold's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Kjolby throws a push kick but Griswold slaps the foot to one side.
Kjolby is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Griswold can do to turn this around?
Griswold displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Kjolby throws out the jab.
Kjolby throws a low kick, looking for Griswold's leg but Griswold calmly moves out of range.
Griswold tries a quick counter leg kick but Kjolby is wise to it.
Griswold throws a lazy head kick
and Kjolby counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Kjolby lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Kjolby's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Griswold connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Kjolby scrambles back to his feet.
Kjolby throws a nice head kick!
Kjolby moves into range and connects with a jab.
Kjolby jabs Griswold to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Kjolby pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Kjolby tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Kjolby throws a good cross that connects.
Kjolby really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kjolby ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Kjolby scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Griswold doesn't seem bothered though.
Griswold throws a right hand that misses
and Kjolby counters with an inside leg kick.
Kjolby throws a hard body shot but it just misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Griswold misses with the combination.
Griswold takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Griswold is breathing heavily.
Griswold gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Nice straight punches there by Kjolby. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Kjolby.
Griswold tries to close the distance and clinch up but Kjolby swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Kjolby lands a nice shot that snaps Griswold's head back.
Kjolby blocks a jab.
Griswold tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Kjolby paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Kjolby looked to counter with a high kick but didn't commit.
Kjolby looks to score with a jab to the body but Griswold is just out of range.
Griswold throws a leg kick
and Kjolby counters with a left to the body.
Arne Kjolby is winning the standup battle so far.
Kjolby dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Griswold keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Griswold looks to land a body kick but Kjolby moved away.
Kjolby dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Kjolby scores with a decent looking hook.

That has opened up Clark Griswold's cut even more.
Griswold tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A thudding body kick lands there by Kjolby!
Griswold has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Griswold there as he acknowledges the shot.
Kjolby misses with a head kick.
Griswold has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.

Kjolby lands a big head kick that sends Griswold tumbling to the mat! Kjolby takes a step backwards and waves Griswold back to his feet - he wants the finish!

Griswold is rocked!
Kjolby uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Griswold.
Griswold is still on wobbly legs! Can Kjolby finish him?
A jab from Griswold misses.
Griswold seems to have recovered his senses.
Griswold walks into a straight right hand from Kjolby.

The cut above Clark Griswold's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
Griswold tries a head kick but it misses.
Griswold misses with a lunging right hand
and Kjolby counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Griswold tries to clinch up but Kjolby circles away and keeps his distance.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Griswold looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Kjolby connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Griswold uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Kjolby has time to react.
Griswold tried to score with a low kick but Kjolby checks it.
Griswold connects with a nice looking jab.
Kjolby takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Kjolby feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Griswold's calf.
Kjolby avoids a punch combination nicely.
Griswold misses with a looping right.
Griswold buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
Kjolby scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Griswold takes a shot to the body in his stride.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Griswold crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from Kjolby - the referee stops the clock and Griswold gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says Kjolby. Griswold manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
Griswold throws a series of punches but Kjolby avoids them all with ease.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Griswold misses with an uppercut
and Kjolby counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Griswold waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Kjolby.
Griswold keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Griswold throws a head kick that misses.
Kjolby cracks Griswold with an open hand slap.
Kjolby misses with a head kick.
Kjolby showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Griswold.
Kjolby lands with a thumping leg kick.
Griswold takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Kjolby throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Griswold goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Jab from Kjolby.

Clark Griswold's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.
Kjolby throws a body punch but Griswold moves out of range.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Arne Kjolby dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Clark Griswold's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Griswold has Kjolby up against the cage in a clinch.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Griswold.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Griswold.
Kjolby goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Kjolby scores with a shoulder strike.
Griswold misses with some punches.
Griswold working aggressively here.
Kjolby is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Kjolby lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Griswold struggles to land a body shot inside as Kjolby controls his hands.
A body shot lands from Kjolby.
Kjolby scores with an uppercut up the middle.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Kjolby lands a hook that snaps the head of Griswold backwards.
Kjolby lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Griswold's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Kjolby lands a right hand that snaps the head of Griswold backwards.
Griswold takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Griswold tries to land a knee to the head but misses.

Kjolby drops Griswold onto one knee with a big uppercut from the clinch! Griswold is propped up by the cage and works his way back to his feet!

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Clark Griswold's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:11 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Arne Kjolby!
Arne Kjolby tried to hype himself up post fight but didn't word it too well and it ended up with him sounding like a bit of a tool.
The defeated Clark Griswold had this to say: 'Fuck this - now will I go home and fuck my thaiwife.'.