PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Rowan Atkinson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Damien Satan (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Satan is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Bullet For My Valentine - Hit The Floor. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Damien Satan was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Atkinson
vs
Satan

180 cm
37
161 lbs
18 - 7 - 0

175 cm
39
168 lbs
33 - 14 - 1

BJJ Red Belt
Solid boxing
Insanely flexible

Excellent grappler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

KAISER Nutrition (160!/220$)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, for the lightweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 7 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Rowan Atkinson!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 33 - 14 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Damien Satan!
The judges for this bout are Stewart Dunkirk, Alan Glass and Tiny Johnson.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Atkinson looks to land a right hand but Satan moved out of range.
Atkinson takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Atkinson keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Satan thuds a left hand into Atkinson's body.
Satan takes a swing at Atkinson's ribcage but misses.
Nice shot by Satan.
Atkinson moves out of range as Satan strikes.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Satan misses the shot to the body.
Satan throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped

so Atkinson counters with a double leg into guard. Good agility.
Atkinson looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Atkinson has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Atkinson trying to control but Satan is working from the bottom.
Satan pulls Atkinson in to control the position.
Atkinson is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
Atkinson stops Satan from standing up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Satan trying to control the position.
The referee is pacing around the two fighters - he looks like he's thinking about a standup.
Atkinson sitting in guard, not really doing much.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Atkinson slips under a jab.
Atkinson feinted with a counter takedown.
Satan darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
Atkinson fails with a takedown attempt.
Atkinson tries to check a leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Atkinson walks into a jab.
Satan scoring well with a low kick there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Satan takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Damien Satan seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

Atkinson gets caught napping as Satan dives in and scores a takedown. Atkinson manages to retain guard.
Atkinson keeping full guard, as Satan tries to pass.
Atkinson is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

Atkinson is looking for a triangle but Satan pushes his legs off easily.
Atkinson seems to have improved his submission grappling technique since last time we saw him. Let's see if he can pull off a submission.
Satan wants to control from the top but Atkinson keeps moving.
Atkinson wants to sweep but no luck.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Satan avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Satan passes into half guard.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Atkinson is trying to control but can't.
Atkinson moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
Satan controlling from the top position.
Satan must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Atkinson bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Satan's guard.

The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Atkinson is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Damien Satan dominated that round.
That's time! Atkinson's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Satan fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Atkinson avoids the body shot from Satan.
Atkinson throws a leg kick that misses.
Satan is looking to land body kicks.
Satan dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Satan dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Atkinson takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Satan misses with a leg kick

and Atkinson counters with a nice double leg into half guard.
Satan is looking for a sweep. Atkinson is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Satan moves into full guard.
Atkinson throwing strikes but missing.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Atkinson wants to control from the top but Satan keeps moving.
Satan is trying to keep Atkinson in close.
Atkinson tries to free his leg and advance position but Satan is retaining full guard.
Satan is pulling down on Atkinson's head to control his posture.
Satan avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Satan attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Atkinson slaps away a takedown attempt from Satan, before circling back to the center of the mat.
Satan fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Atkinson looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Satan throws a sloppy head kick and Atkinson moves out of range easily.
Atkinson appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Satan sizes up Atkinson with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Atkinson jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Satan throws a wild body kick that Atkinson sees coming a mile off.
Satan smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.

Atkinson gets the takedown into side control.
Atkinson slows the pace down.
Satan is looking to reverse the position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Atkinson controlling the position from side mount.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Satan is putting a lot of effort into getting back to his feet here.
Atkinson works to advance to full mount. Satan defends for a few seconds but eventually he succumbs.
Atkinson prevents Satan from getting the reversal.
Atkinson sitting in mount, just looking to control for the moment.
Satan is looking to improve his position but Atkinson isn't that keen on the idea.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Atkinson controlling the pace for now.
Satan is in a horrible position here, under a barrage of strikes, he's managing to avoid any damage.
Atkinson wants to control the pace but Satan is squirming around nicely.
Atkinson is really struggling to control Satan but he's trying to hold on to the position.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Satan is looking to get to half guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Rowan Atkinson will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Atkinson ducks under a wild hook from Satan.
Satan looks to score with a jab to the body but Atkinson is just out of range.
Atkinson moves out of range of the strikes.
Atkinson looks to land a left hand but Satan moved out of range nicely.
Atkinson misses with a takedown attempt
and Satan counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Satan misses with a hook. Atkinson ducked under it nicely.
Atkinson appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Satan throws out a leg kick but Atkinson moves out of range and Satan only half commits.
Atkinson throws a low kick but Satan moves out of range easily.
Atkinson takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Satan ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Atkinson avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Satan throws a right hand that Atkinson ducks under and follows up with a left that Atkinson also avoids with ease.
Satan misses with an uppercut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Satan checks a leg kick nicely.
Satan misses the body punch

and Atkinson counters with a shoot takedown. Satan fights it but they end up in guard.
Atkinson wants to pass the guard but Satan is keeping the position.
Atkinson passes into half guard.
Atkinson takes a deep breath and rests his weight momentarily on top of his opponent, to control the position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a sustained period of stalling by Atkinson.
Satan wants to control but Atkinson is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Satan wants to improve his position but Atkinson is controlling well.

The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Nice uppercut there from Satan.
Atkinson avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Satan scores with a sloppy right hand. Atkinson should have avoided that one.
Satan throws a nice outside leg kick.
Good work by Satan as he checks the leg kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Atkinson drives through with a really nice takedown into side control.
Satan wants to control but Atkinson postures up.
Atkinson controlling the position.
Rowan Atkinson overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Satan is looking to regain half guard here but Atkinson keeps moving and retains side control.
Satan prevents Atkinson from improving position.
Satan being controlled for a moment.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Atkinson lands a knee to the body and a forearm to the face.
Atkinson prevents Satan from escaping the position.
Satan wants to control but Atkinson postures up.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Atkinson is looking to take a break and control but Satan is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.

The referee has stepped in and called for a break in the action. We'll restart on the feet.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Rowan Atkinson.
I think Atkinson has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Stewart Dunkirk scores the fight 29:28
Judge Alan Glass scores the fight 29:28
Judge Tiny Johnson scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Rowan Atkinson!
Rowan Atkinson is the new lightweight champion!