PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Wooden Pencil (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Lee Oswald (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Pencil kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Full Retard. Oswald comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Lou Reed - The day John Kennedy Died kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the cage.

Pencil
vs
Oswald

185 cm
27
193 lbs
17 - 11 - 0

192 cm
30
202 lbs
9 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Bad Man Clothing (Nothing Over $40)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Wooden Pencil!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Lee Oswald!
The judges for this bout are Gregory Folan, Elvis Blanc and Dillan Fox.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Oswald lands a left and a right that sends Pencil crashing to the canvas! Oswald dives into mount looking to finish!

Oswald looks like he's working for a submission but he's not found anything just yet.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Pencil trying desperately to get to his feet.
Pencil avoids a series of strikes thrown by Oswald.
Pencil tries to buck Oswald off but Oswald takes his back!

Oswald patiently working for the choke. Which fighter will keep their nerve here?

Pencil is staying cool under pressure, defending well against the rear naked choke attempt from his opponent.

Pencil is having to fend off submission attempts from Oswald, who is looking to sink in the choke. Oswald doesn't have the hooks in though and Pencil manages to reverse position! He's now on top, in his opponent's guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Oswald wants to stand but Pencil is controlling the position.
Pencil stopping the sweep attempt from Oswald.
Oswald wants to get back to his feet but Pencil is in a dominant position and won't allow it.
Oswald is using up a lot of energy trying to get back to his feet. Perhaps he should improve his position first.

Oswald wriggles free and stands up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Oswald looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
No joy there for Oswald, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Pencil lifts his leg as if looking to counter with a high kick.
Pencil ducks under a wild hook from Oswald.
Oswald tries to land a leg kick but Pencil saw it coming and moves away.
Pencil tries to counter by clinching up but Oswald breaks away and moves out of range.
The fight stays on the outside here - Oswald looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Oswald throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Pencil's waist but Pencil gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Oswald off to one side.

Oswald pushes Pencil up against the cage in a clinch.
Oswald keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Pencil's efforts to push away.
A frustrated look appears on Pencil's face as he tries to break the clinch.
A short uppercut from Pencil.
Pencil lands with a right to the head.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Pencil.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Pencil breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Oswald wants to clinch.
Oswald misses with a leg kick

and Pencil holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
A head punch on the inside from Oswald fails to land.
Pencil misses with a hook from the clinch.
Oswald tries to circle away but Pencil has him pinned against the cage.
Pencil working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Pencil lands with a left to the head.

Pencil's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Oswald, right into the meat.

Pencil lands a big uppercut and Oswald crumbles to the floor! The ref thinks about stopping the fight but Oswald looks OK. Pencil waves Oswald back to his feet!

Oswald is rocked!
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Oswald misses with a few strikes there.
Oswald is still on wobbly legs! Can Pencil finish him?
Pencil avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Oswald pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Oswald seems to have recovered his senses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Oswald looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Pencil is fending him off so far but Oswald persists. Nope, Pencil circles away and we're back to standing.
Pencil checks the leg kick nicely there.
Pencil misses with a wild body shot.
The fight stays on the outside here - Oswald looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Pencil looked to counter with a high kick but didn't commit.
Oswald lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Oswald is looking to land body kicks.
Pencil throws a quick counter head kick but Oswald was just out of range.
Oswald connects with a body shot.
Pencil wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Oswald tries to clinch up but Pencil circles away and keeps his distance.
Oswald misses with a wild combination.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Lee Oswald will probably get the nod.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Oswald misses with a few strikes there.
As Oswald tries to get set, Pencil tries to push him back and clinch up but Oswald manages to avoid the attempt.
Pencil checks the leg kick.

Pencil lands a big right hand that sends Oswald crashing to the mat! Pencil stays standing though and waves Oswald back to his feet!

Oswald moves into the clinch successfully.
Oswald fails to pull guard.
The fighters are starting to get sweaty, which will make takedowns a bit more tricky.
Oswald misses with a hook from the clinch.

Pencil manages to break the clinch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Pencil connects with a body shot.
Lee Oswald seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

Pencil tries to keep at a distance but Oswald has taken the fight into the clinch.
Oswald stalling in the clinch but Pencil improves position.
Oswald can't break the clinch.
Oswald swings wildly with an uppercut but Pencil uses good head movement to avoid it.

Pencil breaks from the clinch.

Oswald bobs and weaves into range and then changes levels and scores with a nice takedown into side control.
Pencil is trying to get back to his feet.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Oswald tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Oswald has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!

Oswald tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.
It looks like the ref is thinking about a standup.
Pencil wants to escape from the position here - easier said than done!

The referee has motioned to the fighters to stand back up. He just wasn't happy with the level of activity.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Pencil throws a head kick but Oswald moves out of range.
Oswald checks the leg kick nicely there.
Pencil drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
A punch combination from Oswald misses.
Pencil is trying to close the distance and clinch up, after that failed offence from Oswald.
Oswald connects with a right hand. Pencil shakes it off.
Oswald doesn't manage to clinch there - Pencil circles away.
A head kick by Oswald misses

and Pencil counters with a nice double leg into half guard.
Oswald scrambles, trying to get to his feet, but Pencil manages to mount him!
Oswald wants to control but Pencil is having none of it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Oswald really wants to buck Pencil off and get back to his feet.
Oswald is trying desperately to improve position.
Oswald is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Oswald wants to try and get back to his feet.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Neither fighter has done anything of merit for a good minute or two here and the crowd are not happy about it.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Pencil is standing up, even though he is in mount.
Oswald throws a right and a left that both miss.
Pencil seemed to be looking to counter by closing the distance.
Pencil throws a head kick that misses.
Wooden Pencil is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Oswald shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Pencil connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Oswald is trying hard to land a takedown here. Pencil sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
Pencil tries to counter by moving into the clinch but Oswald manages to circle out of the way.
Wooden Pencil has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Lee Oswald.
Oswald is breathing heavily.
Oswald misses with a hook. Pencil ducked under it nicely.
Pencil tries to counter by moving into the clinch but Oswald manages to circle out of the way.
Lee Oswald is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
No joy there for Oswald, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Oswald looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Pencil swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Wooden Pencil dominated that second round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Oswald misses with a takedown

and Pencil counters with a crisp right hand that drops Oswald! Pencil lets Oswald back up to his feet, looking for a finish!
Pencil ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Oswald shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Pencil as he jumps to the side.
Pencil attempts a counter takedown but Oswald avoids it well and moves away.
Oswald is looking to clinch but Pencil is avoiding it.

Oswald gets a clinch.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Pencil.
Oswald has been looking to improve his clinch game in recent weeks. Pencil seems to have the measure of him in the clinch so far, so let's see if Oswald can turn it around.
A shot in the inside from Pencil.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Oswald blocks a punch to the side of the head.

Pencil's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Pencil takes a push kick to the midsection and stumbles backwards.
Pencil pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Pencil throws a head kick but Oswald moves out of range.
A big right from Oswald misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pencil on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Oswald tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Pencil counters with a left to the body.
Oswald takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Pencil checks a leg kick.
The fight stays on the outside here - Oswald looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Pencil tried to counter with a leg kick but Oswald avoided it.
Oswald throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Pencil attempts a counter takedown but Oswald avoids it well and moves away.
Oswald fails in his attempt to clinch.

Oswald pushes Pencil up against the cage in a clinch.
Pencil misses with an elbow strike.
Pencil lands with a short head shot on the inside.
A head punch on the inside from Oswald fails to land.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pencil lands an uppercut.
Oswald misses with some punches.
Oswald blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Pencil misses with a punch on the inside.
Pencil using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Oswald has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Pencil tries to break the clinch but Oswald is controlling the position.

Pencil escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Oswald shoots in but Pencil avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Wooden Pencil has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Lee Oswald.
Oswald tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Pencil was well out of range. Poor timing from Oswald.
Pencil swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
A bone on bone clash there as Pencil blocks the leg kick.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
The fight stays on the outside here - Oswald looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Oswald wants to clinch but Pencil slips to the side
and Pencil counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Oswald tries to clinch
and Pencil counters with a straight punch to the midsection.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pencil scores with a hook to the body. Oswald takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Pencil is looking to wear down Oswald with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Pencil lunges at Oswald with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Oswald's hand.
Oswald looks to land a combination but Pencil avoids it well.
Pencil is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Oswald with a lazy takedown attempt
and Pencil counters with a nice leg kick.
Pencil fakes the body blow, causing Oswald to drop his hands! Left hook to the temple! Oswald goes stiff, and falls face first into the mat. Goodnight!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:28 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Wooden Pencil!
Wooden Pencil seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.
Lee Oswald spoke after the fight, saying 'I'm still standing here, so you apparently didn't accomplish your goal.'.