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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Giordano Bruno (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Bruno kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Preliator. Cartman has chosen All Within My Hands as his entrance music. These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.
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| 194 cm
29
265 lbs
18 - 8 - 0 |
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199 cm
33
283 lbs
21 - 14 - 0 |
Abu Dhabi Champ
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
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Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
18 - 8 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Giordano Bruno!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
21 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Eric Cartman!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Don Winkell and .
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman doesn't manage to clinch there - Bruno circles away.
Bruno feinted there with a counter leg kick.
Eric Cartman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Cartman instigates a clinch.
Cartman is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Cartman controlling the action here for a moment.
Cartman swings wildly with an uppercut but Bruno uses good head movement to avoid it.
Bruno lands an elbow inside that Cartman shrugs off.
It looks like Eric Cartman has been cut.
Cartman taking a breather.
Bruno stalling against the cage.
Bruno lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Bruno scores with an uppercut up the middle.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Cartman lands an elbow just above Bruno 's eye.
It looks like Giordano Bruno has been cut.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Cartman.
Cartman throws an elbow that misses.
Bruno stalling in the clinch but Cartman improves position.
Bruno lands a right hand.
Nice body punch from Cartman - that landed with a thud.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A short right from Cartman.
Cartman lands an elbow that stopped Bruno in his tracks for a moment.
Bruno creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Bruno looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Bruno throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Cartmans head.
A short right from Cartman on the inside.
Cartman lands a body punch in the clinch.
Cartman wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Bruno throws an elbow that misses.
Bruno taking a breather.
Cartman misses with a hook from the clinch.
Bruno doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Bruno.
Bruno looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Bruno takes an elbow to the forehead.
Bruno blocks an uppercut.
Bruno swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Bruno blocks an elbow strike.
Cartman scores with a nice hook to the head.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cartman controlling the action here for a moment.
Still in the clinch, Cartman scores with a nice short uppercut.
Cartman working aggressively here.
Bruno digs a right hand underneath Cartman's ribcage. Cartman let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Bruno misses with an elbow strike.
Cartman misses with a body punch.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Bruno.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Bruno.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Bruno managing to block the knees to the body from Cartman.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Bruno takes a knee right on the jaw!
Giordano Bruno's cut is getting worse.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Cartman.
Bruno throws a punch but it's blocked by Cartman.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throws a knee to the head but misses.
Bruno lands an elbow inside.
Cartman using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Bruno has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Cartman looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Cartman misses with a knee strike.
A bit of stalling here from Bruno.
Cartman breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Bruno keeps the fight on the outside.
Bruno fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Cartman manages to avoid it.
A lazy left from Bruno finds it's target.
Bruno circles away from the clinch attempt.
Cartman slips under a jab from Bruno.
Cartman tries to clinch but Bruno is having none of it.
Cartman lands with a straight right. Bruno didn't see that one coming.
Some bone on bone action there as Cartman checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Cartman! But no joy.
Cartman moves into range and lands a nice body kick.
Bruno circles away from the clinch attempt.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bruno ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
Bruno is looking to counter with a shot to the body.
Cartman blocks a jab.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Cartman! But no joy.
Cartman gets in close and instigates a clinch.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Cartman misses with a short punch on the inside.
Cartman content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Cartman misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Cartman lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Cartman is trying to break the clinch but Bruno is controlling him.
Nice elbow from Cartman.
Cartman lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Bruno avoids a wild elbow strike from Cartman.
Cartman throws a head punch that misses.
Cartman gets through Bruno's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Bruno lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
Cartman misses with a knee strike.
Cartman avoiding damage as Bruno throws knees to the body.
Bruno misses with a hook to the ribs.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Eric Cartman dominated that round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
That's time! Back to the action!
A leg kick checked by Cartman.
Cartman throws a poor cross that misses
and Bruno counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Bruno tries to keep at a distance but Cartman has taken the fight into the clinch.
Cartman misses with a hook from the clinch.
Cartman misses with a punch to the body.
Bruno tries to land knees in the clinch but Cartman avoids the damage to the body.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Cartman throws an elbow but it misses.
Cartman has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Cartman misses with a short punch on the inside.
Bruno doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Bruno.
Bruno stalling in the clinch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Bruno lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Cartman throws a head punch that misses.
Cartman misses with a knee strike.
Eric Cartman seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Bruno just leaning against Cartman, taking a breather.
A short left from Bruno.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Bruno trying to stall but Cartman improves his position.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Cartman just misses with a elbow thrown towards Bruno's brow.
Cartman lands with a short shot to the head.
Bruno pushes Cartman back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Bruno is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Cartman is keeping busy.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Giordano Bruno.
Cartman throws a lazy body kick
and Bruno makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Cartman is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
A lazy left from Cartman finds it's target.
Cartman checks a low kick from Bruno.
Cartman fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Bruno circles away from the clinch attempt.
Bruno throws a leg kick which misses Cartman's front leg but catches the back leg as Cartman tries to avoid it.
Bruno motions for Cartman to come forward. Bruno throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman forces Bruno back against the cage and clinches.
Cartman lands a right hand.
Cartman creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Bruno's defenses.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cartman swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Bruno misses with a hook to the ribs.
Bruno blocks the elbow strike.
Cartman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Bruno takes an elbow to the temple.
Giordano Bruno's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.
Cartman working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Bruno is rocked!
Bruno tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
A head punch on the inside from Cartman fails to land.
Cartman tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Bruno misses with a knee to the head.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Bruno just misses with a elbow thrown towards Cartman's brow.
Bruno blocking some punches.
Cartman's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Bruno breaks from the clinch.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman looks for the body kick but Bruno saw that one coming.
A leg kick checked by Cartman.
Cartman tries to clinch up.
Cartman closes the distance and clinches.
Bruno is working Cartman over against the cage.
Bruno will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Cartman up against the cage.
Cartman scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Bruno avoids a wild elbow strike from Cartman.
Bruno lands an elbow inside.
Bruno trying to control the position but instead, Cartman has worked for underhooks and has pushed Bruno into the cage.
Cartman lands an uppercut.
Cartman misses with a short punch on the inside.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman misses with a short punch on the inside.
Cartman avoiding damage as Bruno throws knees to the body.
Cartman pressing his opponent against the cage.
Bruno tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Cartman avoids it.
A short left from Cartman.
Bruno trying to stall but Cartman improves his position.
Cartman tries a knee to the head but Bruno blocks it.
Bruno lands a shot to the body.
Cartman tries to land knees in the clinch but Bruno avoids the damage to the body.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Bruno taking a breather.
Cartman tries to work over Bruno's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Bruno scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Cartman scores with a nice hook to the head.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Bruno just misses with a elbow thrown towards Cartman's brow.
Bruno stalls.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Eric Cartman showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
That's time! Back to the action! This is the final round!
Bruno moves in looking to clinch but Cartman pushes him off.
Cartman forces Bruno back against the cage and clinches.
Cartman avoids a wild elbow strike from Bruno.
Cartman pushes Bruno back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Cartman misses with a punch to the body.
Bruno misses with a hook from the clinch.
Cartman working aggressively here.
Bruno misses with an elbow over the top.
Bruno lands with a right to the head.
Bruno lands with a left to the head.
Bruno takes an elbow to the temple.
Cartman misses with a shot to the kidneys.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bruno tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Cartman's elbow.
Cartman lands a nice uppercut.
Bruno tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cartman lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Bruno backwards.
Cartman blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A body shot lands from Bruno.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Bruno misses with the head strike.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Bruno.
Cartman lands a right hand that snaps the head of Bruno backwards.
Oh Bruno is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Jeez, Giordano Bruno's cut is really nasty now. The referee must be thinking about getting that checked.
Cartman misses with a hook from the clinch.
Still in the clinch, Cartman scores with a nice short uppercut.
Cartman pushes Bruno against the cage. Cartman is working some dirty boxing. Cartman pushes off with a quick right hook! Bruno goes down! Bruno tries to stand but stumbles back to his kness! Cartman moves in to finish and the ref steps in to prevent any more damage!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:26 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Eric Cartman!
Eric Cartman decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
67% |
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