PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Joe The One Armed Man (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Earnest Abe (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think The One Armed Man might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Stand Up To be C**ted. Abe has chosen Uncle Sam Goddamn as his entrance music. Fingers crossed for an exciting fight - I'm sure both fighters are looking for a nice under the table bonus!

The One Armed Man
vs
Abe

185 cm
32
240 lbs
26 - 13 - 0

200 cm
34
283 lbs
22 - 15 - 0

Abu Dhabi Champ
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 26 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Joe The One Armed Man!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 22 - 15 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Earnest Abe!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Timothy Bukovac and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Abe gets in close and instigates a clinch.
The One Armed Man's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Abe blocks a body shot from The One Armed Man.
Abe lands a right hand that snaps the head of The One Armed Man backwards.
The One Armed Man tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Abe smiles and moves away.
Abe fails with an attempt to clinch.
The One Armed Man looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.

Abe gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
The One Armed Man drops to a knee looking for a takedown but Abe gets the underhooks and prevents it.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Abe.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
The One Armed Man fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
The One Armed Man letting Abe take a breather here.
Abe blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Abe has a couple of punches blocked by The One Armed Man.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Abe swings away with an uppercut that misses.
The One Armed Man managing to block the knees to the body from Abe.
Abe blocks the elbow strike.
Abe misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Abe softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Abe misses with a body punch.
The One Armed Man misses with a short punch on the inside.
The One Armed Man lands an elbow just above Abe 's eye.
Abe trying to land knees to the body.
Abe has a couple of punches blocked by The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man blocks a punch to the side of the head.
The One Armed Man tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.

The One Armed Man jumps guard and drags Abe to the mat. He's obviously going to be looking for submissions off his back.
The One Armed Man is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
The One Armed Man has a closed guard, preventing Abe from standing up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.

The One Armed Man looking for subs off his back but Abe has passed one foot through into half guard.
Abe wants to stand up but The One Armed Man has a hold of him and won't allow it.

Abe stands up from half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Abe manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Abe misses with a combination
and The One Armed Man counters with a stiff right hand.
The One Armed Man fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Abe on the side of the head.
Abe tries to clinch up but The One Armed Man circles away and keeps his distance.
The One Armed Man drops his hands momentarily and Abe takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Abe tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but The One Armed Man paws at him with a jab and circles away.
The One Armed Man misses with a low kick.
Abe tries to clinch but The One Armed Man is having none of it.

Abe clinches with his opponent.
Abe misses with a punch to the body.
The One Armed Man scores with a nice hook to the head.
A nice glancing elbow lands by The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man swings away with an uppercut that misses.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for The One Armed Man.
A shot in the inside from Abe.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Abe avoiding damage as The One Armed Man throws knees to the body.
Abe gets through The One Armed Man's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Abe throws a punch but it's blocked by The One Armed Man.
A short right from Abe.
Abe avoids the elbow strike from The One Armed Man, against the cage.
Abe blocking some punches.
Abe lands with a short head shot on the inside.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
A short body shot lands from The One Armed Man as the two fighters clinch.
Abe blocks an elbow strike from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man is trying to stall.
The One Armed Man blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
The One Armed Man lands an elbow just above Abe 's eye.

It looks like Earnest Abe has been cut.
The One Armed Man prevents a body shot from Abe.
Abe digs a right hand underneath The One Armed Man's ribcage. The One Armed Man let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Abe lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Abe slowing the pace effectively.
The One Armed Man trying to stall but Abe improves his position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Earnest Abe dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Earnest Abe's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Abe tries to clinch but fails miserably
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Earnest Abe is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
The One Armed Man darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
The One Armed Man buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
The One Armed Man swats away the attempt to clinch by Abe.
Abe wants to clinch
and The One Armed Man counters with a nice kick to the body.
Abe tries to close the distance and clinch up but The One Armed Man swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Abe connects with a looping right hand.
Abe avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Abe fails with an attempt to clinch.
Abe is looking to clinch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
The One Armed Man throws an overhand right that lands on Abe's shoulder, as Abe tries to avoid the shot.

Abe drives through and clinches with The One Armed Man against the cage.
The One Armed Man blocks an uppercut.
Abe working aggressively here.
Good body shot from The One Armed Man.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The One Armed Man's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Abe will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning The One Armed Man up against the cage.
Nice elbow from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man wants a takedown but no success here.
The One Armed Man has a couple of punches blocked by Abe.
Abe pressing his opponent against the cage.
A nice glancing elbow lands by The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man swings away with an uppercut that misses.
The One Armed Man gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.

Abe breaks from the clinch.
Joe The One Armed Man is winning the standup battle so far.
The One Armed Man throws a series of punches but Abe moves out of range.
Abe throws a shot from downtown. The One Armed Man moves away and avoids it.
Abe tries to clinch up
and The One Armed Man counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man jabbing away but nothing is landing.

Abe has The One Armed Man up against the cage in a clinch.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Abe blocks an elbow strike.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Abe avoids the elbow strike from The One Armed Man, against the cage.
The One Armed Man lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
The One Armed Man misses with a punch to the body.
Abe misses with a short punch on the inside.
The One Armed Man blocking some punches.
A nice right hand lands inside from Abe.
The One Armed Man lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
A nice right hand lands inside from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Abe lands a hook that snaps the head of The One Armed Man backwards.
A head punch on the inside from The One Armed Man fails to land.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man misses with a hook from the clinch.
A left hand lands to the body for The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man lands with a short head shot on the inside.
The One Armed Man misses with a hook to the ribs.
The One Armed Man swings away with an uppercut that misses.

Abe escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
The One Armed Man misses with a straight left.
The One Armed Man circles away from the clinch attempt.
The One Armed Man tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
The One Armed Man throws a wild body kick that Abe sees coming a mile off.
Earnest Abe seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
The One Armed Man keeps the fight on the outside.
A jab from The One Armed Man misses.
Abe tries to clinch there but The One Armed Man circles away.
The One Armed Man tries to work over Abe's front leg with a kick but Abe checks it.
The One Armed Man misses the shot to the body.
The One Armed Man takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Abe is looking to clinch.
Abe walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.

Abe has managed to clinch.
Abe misses with some punches.
The One Armed Man trying to control the position but instead, Abe has worked for underhooks and has pushed The One Armed Man into the cage.
The One Armed Man scores with a nice hook to the head.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Abe trying to stall but The One Armed Man improves his position.
Abe lands a left hand that snaps the head of The One Armed Man backwards.
Abe lands a nice uppercut.
The One Armed Man throws an elbow but it misses.
A bit of stalling here from Abe.
The One Armed Man lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Abe fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Abe lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
The One Armed Man looks to throw an elbow but misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Joe The One Armed Man dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Earnest Abe's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Abe swinging wildly here.
The One Armed Man misses with a body kick.
The One Armed Man lands with an uppercut that bounces Abe off the cage and back into range.
Abe misses with a wild combination.
Abe ducks down and throws a hook to the body but The One Armed Man moves away.
The One Armed Man throws the left hand but Abe avoids the punch easily.
Abe chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before The One Armed Man can pounce on him.
Abe wants to clinch up but The One Armed Man keeps it at a distance.
Abe tries to clinch but The One Armed Man is having none of it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A nice inside leg kick there by The One Armed Man. That's going to slow Abe down.
Abe lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
The One Armed Man looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Abe tries to clinch but The One Armed Man is having none of it.
Abe moves out of range of the body kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The One Armed Man looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
The fighters circle momentarily. The One Armed Man darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Abe tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but The One Armed Man paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Abe checks a leg kick.
Abe jabs The One Armed Man to the body, keeping him at a distance.
The One Armed Man throws a jab when Abe was well out of range.
No joy there for Abe, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Abe tries to clinch there but The One Armed Man circles away.
Abe takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Abe tries to close the distance and clinch but The One Armed Man swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Abe checks a leg kick.
The One Armed Man works Abe's body with a nice hook.
The One Armed Man avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Abe throws a head kick but The One Armed Man moves out of range.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The One Armed Man scores with a shot to the body.
The One Armed Man misses with a hook to the body

and Abe counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Abe.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Abe swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Abe swings away with an uppercut that misses.
The One Armed Man lands a damaging elbow.
Abe wants to stall.
The One Armed Man blocking some punches.
Abe is trying to break free.
The One Armed Man lands an elbow just above Abe 's eye.
The One Armed Man blocks an uppercut.
The One Armed Man lands a nice knee to the body.
Abe takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
The One Armed Man comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
The One Armed Man tries for a takedown. No joy.
The One Armed Man is looking to control Abe's arms but Abe gets an underhook and turns him. Now The One Armed Man has his back to the cage.
The One Armed Man throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Abe doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
The One Armed Man is pushing Abe up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Abe wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Abe avoids the elbow strike from The One Armed Man, against the cage.
The One Armed Man throws a punch but it's blocked by Abe.
Abe misses with the head strike.
The One Armed Man has a couple of punches blocked by Abe.
Abe tries to work over The One Armed Man's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
The One Armed Man stalling in the clinch.
The One Armed Man gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
With the fighters up against the cage, The One Armed Man throws an elbow but misses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Abe is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Earnest Abe seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Abe is trying to slow the pace down but that's a couple of times in a row that he's tried to get underhooks and The One Armed Man has denied him.
The One Armed Man jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Abe walks away with a smile on his face. The One Armed Man gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.

The One Armed Man fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Abe, pushing him back against the cage.
Abe dodges an elbow strike from The One Armed Man.
The One Armed Man looking to slow down the pace here.
Abe is looking to break free of the clinch but The One Armed Man has double underhooks.
Abe misses with a hook to the ribs.
The One Armed Man can't find room to land a body shot as Abe controls the action.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Abe makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Abe looking to slow down the pace here.
Abe goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Joe The One Armed Man clearly takes that round.
The cut man is working on Earnest Abe's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Abe takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
The One Armed Man moves in looking to clinch but Abe pushes him off.
Abe closes the distance but The One Armed Man moves to the side
and The One Armed Man counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Good leg kick by The One Armed Man there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Abe swings for the body but The One Armed Man moves out of range.
Abe tries to clinch up.
The One Armed Man turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Abe tries to clinch up but The One Armed Man circles away and keeps his distance.
Abe throws a wild body kick that The One Armed Man sees coming a mile off.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
The One Armed Man scores with a leg kick.
The One Armed Man with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
The One Armed Man throws a sloppy body shot

and Abe counters with a head kick that drops The One Armed Man to the mat! The One Armed Man scrambles across the canvas and gets back to his feet, still wobbly!
Abe's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Abe wants to clinch
and The One Armed Man counters with an outside leg kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The One Armed Man misses with a low kick.
Abe lands a monster head kick that reverborates around the arena! The crowd goes wild as The One Armed Man crumples to the floor! Abe milks the crowd's applause and if that isn't knockout of the night, I will be very surprised!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:12 of round 4, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Earnest Abe!
A relieved looking Earnest Abe thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.