PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Viktor Kulakov (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Juris Dicktion (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Kulakov comes to the cage accompanied by Lube-Shparu. There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.

Kulakov
vs
Dicktion

184 cm
36
186 lbs
27 - 30 - 1

180 cm
31
260 lbs
14 - 13 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 27 - 30 - 1, fighting out of Las Vegas, Viktor Kulakov!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Juris Dicktion!
The judges for this bout are Wesley Smith, George Francis and Robert Twigg.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kulakov cracks Dicktion with an open hand slap.

It looks like Juris Dicktion has been cut.
Dicktion throws a shot to the body.
Dicktion slips a jab from Kulakov.
Kulakov ducks under a wild hook from Dicktion.
Dicktion needs to keep his hands up - Kulakov had a free shot at his head there.
Dicktion swinging wildly here.
Dicktion throws a head kick that looked like it stung.
Kulakov staying out of range there.
Dicktion lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Kulakov looks to land a right hand but Dicktion moved out of range.
Dicktion fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Kulakov is out of range.
We've been told by Kulakov's head coaches at VENDETTA Elite Gym that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Dicktion takes one to the chin there.
Kulakov looks to throw the jab but Dicktion is out of range.
Dicktion looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Dicktion wants to clinch.
Dicktion keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dicktion misses with a body kick.
Kulakov lands a nice shot to the body.
Dicktion keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Kulakov.
Dicktion wants to clinch but Kulakov slips to the side
and Kulakov cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Dicktion misses with a kick to the body.
Dicktion moves forwards but Kulakov connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Kulakov lands a nice shot to the body.

Dicktion instigates a clinch.
Dicktion using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Kulakov has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.

Kulakov pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Dicktion lands a front kick.
Nice body punch from Dicktion.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Dicktion connects with an inside leg kick.
Dicktion takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Kulakov lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
A leg kick checked by Kulakov.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dicktion takes a swing at Kulakov's ribcage but misses.
Kulakov throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Dicktion misses with a body kick.
Dicktion goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Dicktion displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Kulakov throws out the jab.
Kulakov scores with the left hand. Dicktion knows he should have avoided that one.
An inside leg kick from Dicktion misses.
Dicktion looks to land a body kick but Kulakov moved away.
Dicktion throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Dicktion uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Kulakov.
Kulakov scores with a decent looking hook.
Kulakov takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
Kulakov throws a combination that misses

and Dicktion counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Dicktion.
Dicktion goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Dicktion has Kulakov pressed against the cage, preventing Kulakov from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Kulakov lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Dicktion backwards.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dicktion lands a nice knee to the body.
Kulakov is trying to break the clinch but Dicktion is controlling him.
Kulakov on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Dicktion throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Kulakov blocks it with crossed arms.

Kulakov pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Kulakov is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
Kulakov swings widly with a right hand

and Dicktion counters by clinching up.
Kulakov can't break the clinch.
Dicktion misses with a knee to the head.

Kulakov breaks from the clinch.
Kulakov lands with a straight right. Dicktion didn't see that one coming.
Dicktion lands a high kick!
Kulakov misses with a series of wild punches.
Dicktion tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Kulakov manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Kulakov checks the leg kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Kulakov looks to land a right hand but Dicktion moved out of range.
Kulakov moves out of range of the body kick from Dicktion.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kulakov on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Kulakov bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Dicktion is looking to land body kicks.
Dicktion tries to work over Kulakov's front leg with a kick but Kulakov checks it.
Kulakov smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Kulakov takes a step back and watches a body kick go sailing past his mid section.
Dicktion on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Dicktion throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Kulakov.
Dicktion scores with a nice body kick.
Kulakov throws a shot from downtown. Dicktion moves away and avoids it.
Kulakov moves out of range of the body kick from Dicktion.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Dicktion tries a head kick but it misses.
Dicktion throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Dicktion throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Kulakov stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Dicktion thuds his shin into the meat of Kulakov's side.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Juris Dicktion will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Juris Dicktion's cut.
That's time! Kulakov's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Kulakov blocks a head kick by Dicktion.
Dicktion takes a swing at Kulakov's ribcage but misses.
Kulakov throws the left hand but Dicktion avoids the punch easily.
A lazy left from Kulakov finds it's target.
Kulakov moves out of range of the body kick from Dicktion.
Dicktion fails with an attempt to clinch.
Kulakov throws a hook but Dicktion avoids it easily.
Kulakov missing with a left hand there. Dicktion was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.

Dicktion gets to the clinch - let's see what his plan is here.
Kulakov wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Kulakov takes a shot to the head.
Dicktion tries a knee to the head but Kulakov blocks it.
Dicktion tries a knee to the head but Kulakov blocks it.
Kulakov lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Kulakov wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Kulakov wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Kulakov is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Kulakov wants to push off and get back to the center of the mat but Dicktion has him pressed against the cage.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Kulakov pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Dicktion is throwing a lot of body shots here, looking to wear down Kulakov rather than just go for the knockout.
Dicktion throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Kulakov throws a good cross that connects.
Kulakov lunges at Dicktion with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by Dicktion's hand.
Kulakov misses with a wild combination.
Kulakov takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Kulakov drops his hands momentarily and Dicktion takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Kulakov throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Kulakov throws a right and a left that both miss.
Dicktion tries a head kick but it misses.
Kulakov waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Dicktion.
Dicktion showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Kulakov.
Kulakov throws a nice looking combination but Dicktion bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dicktion moves out of range as Kulakov strikes.
A jab from Kulakov does it's job there.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Dicktion throws a right and a left that both miss.
Dicktion thows a left - swing and a miss!
Kulakov misses with a straight right.
Dicktion tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Dicktion is looking to chop away at Kulakov's legs.

Dicktion moves into range and clinches up with Kulakov.
Kulakov displaying some good clinch control by pressing Dicktion up against the cage.
Kulakov lands a right hand that snaps the head of Dicktion backwards.
Dicktion tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Kulakov prevents a body shot from Dicktion.
Dicktion swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Dicktion lands a right hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Kulakov escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Kulakov goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Dicktion does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
Juris Dicktion seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Kulakov throws a body shot but no joy.
Kulakov throws out a loose jab but Dicktion uses good head movement to avoid it.
Dicktion misses with a body kick.
Dicktion defending well as Kulakov loads up on a big left hand.
Dicktion misses with a head kick.
Dicktion looks to clinch
and Kulakov counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.

That has opened up Juris Dicktion's cut even more.
Kulakov moves out of range of the body kick.
Kulakov looks to land a right hand but Dicktion moved out of range.
Dicktion connects with a high kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Dicktion takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Dicktion tries a head kick but it misses.
Kulakov tests Dicktion's chin there with a solid looking shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kulakov cracks Dicktion with a good shot that sees him stumbling back into the cage.
Kulakov throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Dicktion is looking to clinch.
Dicktion pivots, looking for a leg kick but Kulakov is out of range and Dicktion settles back down.
Good exchange - Kulakov coming out on top.
Dicktion swings for the body but Kulakov moves out of range.
Dicktion throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Kulakov works Dicktion's body with a nice hook.
Dicktion takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Dicktion wants to clinch up but Kulakov keeps it at a distance.
Kulakov lands a nice looking body shot.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Kulakov throws out a powerful jab.
Kulakov misses with a straight right.
Kulakov throws a lazy right hand but Dicktion sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Viktor Kulakov dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Juris Dicktion's cut.
That's time! Kulakov's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Dicktion ducks under a wild hook from Kulakov.
Dicktion misses with a head kick.
Kulakov swings and misses with a hook to the body.
A head kick misses from Dicktion.
Dicktion slips a jab and a cross from Kulakov.
Kulakov misses the shot to the body.
Dicktion fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Kulakov looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Kulakov wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Kulakov keeps the fight on the outside.
Kulakov throws a series of punches but Dicktion avoids them all with ease.
Dicktion displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Kulakov throws out the jab.
Left hook, right uppercut from Kulakov.
Kulakov throws a right and a left that Dicktion avoids nicely.
Kulakov throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Kulakov avoids the head kick by Dicktion.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dicktion walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Kulakov is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Dicktion throws a wild body kick that Kulakov sees coming a mile off.
Kulakov lands a really nice looking cross but Dicktion seems unphased.
Kulakov uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Dicktion.
A swing and a miss from Dicktion.
The fight stays on the outside here - Dicktion looks like he's thinking about clinching though.

Dicktion rushes Kulakov and presses him up against the cage.
Kulakov wants to break the clinch but can't.

Kulakov breaks from the clinch.
Dicktion takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Dicktion throws a head kick that misses.
Kulakov throws a lazy right hand but Dicktion sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Dicktion slips a jab from Kulakov.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kulakov ducks under a wild hook from Dicktion.
Dicktion has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Kulakov finds it's way round the side to connect with Dicktion's head.

The cut above Juris Dicktion's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Dicktion tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Kulakov was well out of range. Poor timing from Dicktion.
Dicktion looks for the body kick but Kulakov saw that one coming.
Kulakov uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Dicktion.
A head kick misses from Dicktion.
Kulakov lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Kulakov's corner calls for a 1-2. Kulakov obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Dicktion's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Kulakov connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Dicktion scrambles back to his feet.
Kulakov avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Kulakov checks the leg kick.
Dicktion fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Kulakov uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Dicktion.
Kulakov uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Dicktion has time to react.
Dicktion has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Dicktion misses with a looping right.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dicktion is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Kulakov.
Kulakov looks to land a right hand but Dicktion moved out of range.
Kulakov keeps the fight on the outside.
Kulakov tries to bum rush Dicktion with a series of wild strikes but Dicktion uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Kulakov throws a big shot that misses.
Kulakov connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Dicktion throws a head kick that misses.
Kulakov will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Dicktion avoids a punch combination nicely.
Dicktion misses with a kick to the body.
Viktor Kulakov is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Kulakov getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
Dicktion tries to close the distance and clinch but Kulakov swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kulakov avoids a punch combination nicely.
Dicktion lands a nice looking body shot.
Kulakov smiles there as he lands a nice right hand right on the button.
Dicktion keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Kulakov.
Kulakov throws a jab but it's blocked by Dicktion.
Sloppy strikes from Kulakov. Those never looked like landing.
Dicktion throws out a leg kick but Kulakov moves out of range and Dicktion only half commits.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Kulakov jabs Dicktion to the body, keeping him at a distance.
Danga de danga de dang - Kulakov scores with a four punch combination!
Dicktion moves in looking to clinch but Kulakov pushes him off.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A lazy left from Kulakov finds it's target.
Kulakov throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Dicktion.
Dicktion throws a good cross that connects.

And that's the end of the fight!
Viktor Kulakov showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Kulakov has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Wesley Smith scores the fight 29:28
Judge George Francis scores the fight 29:28
Judge Robert Twigg scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Viktor Kulakov!
A relieved looking Viktor Kulakov thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.