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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Conquer This (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman has chosen All Within My Hands as his entrance music. Conquer This has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?
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| 192 cm
39
235 lbs
44 - 19 - 0 |
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199 cm
32
283 lbs
18 - 12 - 0 |
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
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Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
44 - 19 - 0, fighting out of New York, Conquer This!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
18 - 12 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Eric Cartman!
The judges for this bout are James Atkins, Richard Clark and Andrew Berry.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. This manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
This circles away from the clinch attempt.
This throws a wild body kick that Cartman sees coming a mile off.
This ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Cartman moves away.
This looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Cartman throws a lazy right hand but This sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
A lazy left from This finds it's target.
Cartman moves in looking to clinch but This pushes him off.
This clinches with his opponent.
This blocks a punch to the side of the head.
A shot in the inside from This.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Cartman.
Cartman misses with a knee strike.
Cartman tried to land a shot to the body but connects with This's elbow.
This lands a nice uppercut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Cartman is trying to break the clinch but This is controlling him.
This misses with a punch to the body.
Cartman lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
This throws a head punch that misses.
This lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
A right handed body shot lands from This.
Cartman blocks a body shot from This.
That's one minute gone in the round.
This can't find room to land a body shot as Cartman controls the action.
This blocking some punches.
Cartman throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Thiss head.
This throws a punch but it's blocked by Cartman.
Cartman lands with a left to the head.
Cartman blocks a body shot from This.
This lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Cartman misses with a knee to the head.
Cartman's coach down at MadDogs Road House was telling us pre-fight that they have been working on Cartman's balance. Obviously they view that as a key factor in the outcome of this fight.
This tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Cartman's elbow.
Cartman with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Cartman blocking some punches.
This fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
This blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
This swings wildly with an uppercut but Cartman uses good head movement to avoid it.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Cartman lands a hook that snaps the head of This backwards.
Cartman gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
This lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
This tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
This tries to work over Cartman's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
This lands a nice uppercut.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
This tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cartman lands a nice uppercut.
This softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Cartman lands a nice knee to the body.
This is breathing heavily.
A short right from Cartman.
This lands on the inside with an uppercut.
A nice left hand lands by Cartman.
This throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Cartmans head.
A short right from This on the inside.
Cartman with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Cartman blocks an uppercut.
Cartman softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
This pushes Cartman back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Cartman looking to throw knees to the head but This is blocking nicely.
Cartman unloads a knee to the mid-section. This lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
Cartman misses with an elbow over the top.
Cartman lands a body shot in the clinch.
Cartman throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Cartman makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Cartman pressing his opponent against the cage.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman misses with a body punch.
This blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
This avoids a wild elbow strike from Cartman.
This lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Cartman unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Cartman softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Cartman lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Cartman lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of This backwards.
Cartman gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Cartman throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
This takes an elbow to the temple.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Cartman breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Eric Cartman seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Cartman misses with a body shot.
Cartman moves in looking to clinch but This pushes him off.
This throws the left hand but Cartman avoids the punch easily.
Cartman has closed the distance and engaged This in a clinch.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman blocks a body shot from This.
This works on Cartman's body with a couple of short punches.
Cartman lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Cartman gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Cartman goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
This managing to block the knees to the body from Cartman.
This misses with a body punch.
A head punch on the inside from This fails to land.
This doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Cartman pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
This lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
This has a couple of punches blocked by Cartman.
A short right from Cartman.
A nice left hand lands by This.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
This misses with some punches.
This lands a right hand that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
Cartman scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Cartman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Cartman misses with a punch on the inside.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Eric Cartman dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!
This swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Cartman darts in and clinches This up against the cage.
Cartman prevents a body shot from This.
Cartman lands a left hand.
This blocks an elbow strike.
Cartman lands with a light punch inside.
This's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Cartman misses with a knee strike.
This blocks an uppercut.
Eric Cartman seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
This struggles to land a body shot inside as Cartman controls his hands.
A quick uppercut on the inside from This.
Cartman lands with a left to the head.
This has been an exciting period of action!
This tries to work over Cartman's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Nice elbow from Cartman.
This misses with a punch to the body.
This scores with a shoulder strike.
This tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
This blocking some punches.
Cartman tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
This misses with a punch to the body.
That's one minute gone in the round.
This goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Still in the clinch, Cartman scores with a nice short uppercut.
This has a couple of punches blocked by Cartman.
This blocks an uppercut.
This misses with a shot to the kidneys.
This takes an elbow to the forehead.
Cartman lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
This tries a body shot but Cartman blocks it.
Cartman controlling the action here for a moment.
This misses with the head strike.
This lands a nice uppercut.
This tries to work over Cartman's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Cartman is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but This is keeping busy.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for This.
Cartman lands with a short punch from the clinch.
This tries a body shot but Cartman blocks it.
A short right from This on the inside.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman lands a body punch in the clinch.
This lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Cartman tries a body shot but This blocks it.
Cartman looking to stall.
Cartman throws a punch but it's blocked by This.
Cartman lands a body shot in the clinch.
Cartman lands an elbow that stopped This in his tracks for a moment.
It looks like Conquer This has been cut.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
This tries to work over Cartman's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
This goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
This working aggressively here.
This misses with a punch to the body.
Cartman lands with a short shot to the head.
This misses with the head strike.
This blocking some punches.
A head punch blocked on the inside by This.
Cartman throws a punch but it's blocked by This.
Cartman misses with a hook from the clinch.
This softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Cartman crunches a lovely knee into This's ribcage.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
A nice right hand lands inside from Cartman.
Cartman lands a right hand.
This blocks a body shot from Cartman.
Cartman lands a left hand.
Cartman lands a nice elbow.
A short right from Cartman on the inside.
Cartman connects with a big uppercut there that sends This tumbling to the ground! Cartman follows him down into his guard.
This is rocked!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
The referee claps his hands together and tells the fighters to work.
Cartman wants to get up but he can't break This's closed guard. He needs to be careful trying to break the legs open, as he's open to submissions here.
Oh This is still in real trouble! Will he be able to recover?!!
Cartman working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
This seems to have got his legs back now.
This keeping moving, preventing Cartman from controlling successfully.
Cartman throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Cartman with a nice head shot there.
Cartman is working This over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
Cartman slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
This is not in a great position here, taking some shots.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Cartman sitting in side control, looking to soften his opponent up with elbows and hammerfists but This is avoiding damage well and looking to escape the position.
Cartman working the ground and pound but he's contacting the mat, not the fighter.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Cartman is putting a hurting on This here, landing some big shots from side control.
Cartman works a knee to the body and follows up with a nice elbow to the head.
Cartman tries to land with some ground and pound but misses.
Cartman tries to land with some ground and pound but misses.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cartman creates some space and throws a big elbow, but This sees it coming and moves his head just enough to avoid the strike.
Cartman working the ground and pound but This is defending the strikes.
Cartman fails to land a wild elbow strike.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Eric Cartman showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Conquer This's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! This is the final round!
Cartman fails in his attempt to clinch.
Cartman uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from This.
Cartman tries to clinch but This is having none of it.
Cartman moves in looking to clinch but This pushes him off.
Cartman is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
This misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Cartman.
A slow jab from This misses its intended target.
This goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Cartman moves in looking to clinch but This pushes him off.
This swats away the attempt to clinch by Cartman.
Cartman tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. This manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
This moves into the clinch.
This throws a punch but it's blocked by Cartman.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Cartman.
Cartman misses with a shot to the kidneys.
That's one minute gone in the round.
This tries a body shot but Cartman blocks it.
Cartman is looking to control This's arms but This gets an underhook and turns him. Now Cartman has his back to the cage.
This lands a hook that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
This misses with the head strike.
This working aggressively here.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, This creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Knees to the body from Cartman.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Good body shot from Cartman.
Cartman gets through This's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Cartman is leaning against This and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.
Cartman is trying to wear down his opponent with knees to the body.
Cartman lands on the inside with an uppercut.
This blocks a body shot from Cartman.
Cartman using the Thai plumb to throw knees but This has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Cartman has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Cartman misses with a hook from the clinch.
This tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Cartman's elbow.
This lands a left hand.
This fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
This tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Conquer This has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
That's two minutes gone in the round.
This's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Cartman prevents a body shot from This.
This fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Cartman lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Cartman blocks a punch to the side of the head.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Cartman creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Cartman lands a right hand.
Cartman scores with a knee to the head.
Cartman lands an uppercut.
Cartman blocks a punch to the side of the head.
This blocks a body shot from Cartman.
Cartman stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
This has a couple of punches blocked by Cartman.
Cartman pushes This against the cage. Cartman is working some dirty boxing. Cartman pushes off with a quick right hook! This goes down! This tries to stand but stumbles back to his kness! Cartman moves in to finish and the ref steps in to prevent any more damage!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:50 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Eric Cartman!
A relieved looking Eric Cartman thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
100% |
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