PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Ron Artest (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Smeagol Gollum (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Artest comes to the cage accompanied by Champion- Ron Artest Feat T-Pain. Ron Artest is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Artest
vs
Gollum

200 cm
20
260 lbs
5 - 1 - 0

188 cm
25
265 lbs
6 - 0 - 0

Decent wrestler
Good kicks
Granite chin

BJJ White Belt
Decent knees
Powerful

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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Ron Artest!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Smeagol Gollum!
The judges for this bout are Roosa Järviläinen, Arvi Lind and Anni Minnemäki.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Artest checks a low kick from Gollum.
Artest goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Gollum connects with a good right hand that stumbles Artest. Artest circles away out of range and recomposes himself.

Artest moves into the clinch successfully.
Artest works on Gollum's body with a couple of short punches.
Gollum looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Artest blocks an uppercut.
Gollum throws a head punch that misses.
A hook to the body from Artest.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A nice left hand lands by Artest.
Artest tries to work over Gollum's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Artest tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Gollum's elbow.
Artest throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Artest misses with a body punch.
Artest tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Gollum fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Gollum tries a knee to the head but Artest blocks it.
A short uppercut from Gollum.
Gollum misses with a short punch on the inside.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Gollum creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
Artest misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Gollum.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Gollum stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
Gollum's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Artest misses with an elbow over the top.

Gollum breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Artest looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Artest bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.
Gollum looks to score with a jab to the body but Artest is just out of range.

Artest pushes Gollum up against the cage in a clinch.
Gollum lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Artest backwards.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Gollum with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Our sources have told us that Artest has been working on his knees in the buildup to the fight.
Gollum throws a head punch that misses.
Still in the clinch, Artest scores with a nice short uppercut.
Artest tries to land knees in the clinch but Gollum avoids the damage to the body.
Artest with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Gollum goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Gollum throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Artest blocks it with crossed arms.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Artest lands an elbow that stopped Gollum in his tracks for a moment.

It looks like Smeagol Gollum has been cut.
Artest lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Artest throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Gollums head.
Nice body punch from Artest - that landed with a thud.
Gollum lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Artest misses with a knee to the head.
Artest misses with some punches.
Artest blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Gollum avoids a wild elbow strike from Artest.
Artest goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
A head punch on the inside from Gollum fails to land.
Artest lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
Artest trying to land knees to the body.
Gollum prevents a body shot from Artest.
Gollum looks like he'd prefer to be striking at range right now.

Gollum's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Gollum swings widly with a right hand
and Artest finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
The fight stays on the outside here - Artest looks like he's thinking about clinching though.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Artest steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Gollum.
Artest throws a sloppy head kick and Gollum moves out of range easily.

Artest closes the distance and pushes Gollum back into the cage.
Artest looking to throw knees to the head but Gollum is blocking nicely.
Artest missing with knees to the body.
Artest goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Gollum throws a punch but it's blocked by Artest.
Gollum on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Artest landing knees to the head.
Gollum tries to land a knee to the head but Artest blocks with his arms.
Artest has Gollum pressed against the cage, preventing Gollum from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
Gollum misses with a knee to the head.
Artest lands an uppercut.
Gollum looks winded!
Gollum fails to land with a short punch on the inside.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Gollum tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Gollum is trying to break the clinch but Artest has him pressed against the cage.
Artest lands a nice shot to the body.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Artest scores with a shoulder strike.

That has opened up Smeagol Gollum's cut even more.
Artest lands a damaging elbow.
Artest trying to land knees to the body.
Artest scores with a hook to the body.
Artest keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Gollum's efforts to push away.
Artest is working Gollum over against the cage.
Artest trying to land knees to the body.
Artest lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.

The cut above Smeagol Gollum's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
Artest connects with a nasty looking knee right to Gollum's face.

Smeagol Gollum's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.
Artest unloads a knee to the mid-section. Gollum lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Artest lands a left hand.
Artest tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Artest lands a damaging elbow.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Smeagol Gollum's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:57 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Ron Artest!
Ron Artest is the new heavyweight champion!
Ron Artest looked relieved post fight as he said the following; 'Tino, welcome to the world of MMA, You lost to a true champion, who's next?'.
The defeated Smeagol Gollum had this to say: 'Just to let you know, I have AIDS. And now you do to '.