PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Vit Tu (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants comes to the cage accompanied by Deathly Quiet. Tu has chosen Blanket on the ground as his entrance music. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

PoopyPants
vs
Tu

197 cm
28
222 lbs
16 - 8 - 0

190 cm
31
214 lbs
27 - 15 - 0

Good wrestling
Great elbows
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 16 - 8 - 0, fighting out of London, BitchFace PoopyPants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 27 - 15 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Vit Tu!
The judges for this bout are Aafke Stam, Paul Aken and Patrick Alders.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Tu tries for a takedown but PoopyPants sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
A slow jab from Tu misses its intended target.
Tu throws a lazy right hand but PoopyPants sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
PoopyPants moves out of range as Tu strikes.
Tu needs to keep his hands up - PoopyPants had a free shot at his head there.
PoopyPants connects with the punch.

PoopyPants has taken the fight to the clinch.
Tu is trying to pull guard but PoopyPants has him pressed against the cage.
Tu tries to pull guard but PoopyPants won't allow it.
BitchFace PoopyPants has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Vit Tu.
PoopyPants wants to stall.
Tu tries to pull guard but PoopyPants won't allow it.
Tu tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!

PoopyPants breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
A jab from PoopyPants misses.
PoopyPants uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Tu.
Tu throws out a loose jab but PoopyPants uses good head movement to avoid it.
Tu avoids the body shot from PoopyPants.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Tu was well out of range. Poor timing from PoopyPants.
Tu connects with the punch.

PoopyPants rushes Tu and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Tu fails to pull guard.
PoopyPants lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Nice body punch from PoopyPants - that landed with a thud.
PoopyPants lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.

PoopyPants pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
The fighters circling - PoopyPants throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
PoopyPants with a hook.
PoopyPants is looking to clinch but Tu is avoiding it.
PoopyPants just misses with a punch to the body.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Tu shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with PoopyPants but PoopyPants pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Tu misses with a takedown attempt
and PoopyPants counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Tu thinking.
Tu circles away from the clinch attempt.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants is looking to clinch.
PoopyPants stuffs the takedown attempt from Tu. Tu gets slowly back to his feet.
PoopyPants tries to bum rush Tu with a series of wild strikes but Tu uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
The fighters circle momentarily. Tu darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
PoopyPants throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Tu shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as PoopyPants sprawls well. PoopyPants wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Tu gets slowly back to his feet.
PoopyPants pushes forward with a 1-2 combination that forces Tu back to the cage. PoopyPants follows up with a solid lead hook to the liver.
PoopyPants scores with a shot to the body.
PoopyPants darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
PoopyPants fails with an attempt to clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants throws a shot to the body.

Tu drives through with a takedown into guard.
Tu throwing strikes but missing.
Tu landing with the ground and pound.
PoopyPants keeping full guard, as Tu tries to pass.

PoopyPants working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Tu doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Tu manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
PoopyPants utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Tu trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Tu missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.

PoopyPants is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
PoopyPants looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Tu stands and throws PoopyPants's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Tu scores with punches from side control.
Tu tries to advance to mount but can't.
PoopyPants struggling a bit here.
PoopyPants manages to get one leg in to regain half guard.
Tu wants to pass to mount but PoopyPants is defending the position.
Tu passes to full mount!
Tu lands a big elbow.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Tu connects with a couple of good shots from mount.

Tu is thinking about an arm triangle here, looking to tighten it up before moving to side control. PoopyPants can see it coming though and defends well with a couple of strikes to the head and some good arm positioning.
PoopyPants is looking to get to half guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that BitchFace PoopyPants will probably get the nod.
That's time! Back to the action!

PoopyPants misses with a takedown attempt - Tu sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
PoopyPants lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
PoopyPants shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Tu as he avoids it easily.
PoopyPants moves out of range as Tu strikes.
The fighters circling - Tu throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Tu connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
PoopyPants moves out of range as Tu strikes.
PoopyPants throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Tu's waist but Tu gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing PoopyPants off to one side.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for BitchFace PoopyPants. That's going to take a lot out of him.

PoopyPants instigates a clinch.
Tu jumps guard but PoopyPants turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, PoopyPants creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.
PoopyPants lands a shoulder strike.

That's one minute gone in the round.

PoopyPants breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
A shot to the liver by PoopyPants. Beautiful body shot.

PoopyPants has managed to clinch.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow over the top.
PoopyPants is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.

PoopyPants breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Tu might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
Tu takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Tu misses with a looping left.
Tu misses with a hook. PoopyPants ducked under it nicely.
Tu shoots in but no luck this time.
Tu shoots in for a takedown but PoopyPants shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Tu misses with an uppercut. PoopyPants saw that one coming.
Tu thows a body shot but no joy.
PoopyPants misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Tu.
Tu misses with a right hand
and PoopyPants counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Tu thinking.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants is looking to clinch but Tu is avoiding it.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
PoopyPants wants to clinch.
A telegraphed right hand from Tu misses the target.
Nice defenses there by Tu.

PoopyPants has taken the fight to the clinch.
Tu fails to pull guard.

PoopyPants breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Tu does a little dance to reset his feet.
PoopyPants clobbers Tu with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
PoopyPants throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Tu digs a good hook to PoopyPants's body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Tu takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Tu darts in and out, connecting with a jab.
PoopyPants connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Tu fails with a takedown attempt.
The fighters circling - Tu throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
PoopyPants takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.

PoopyPants pushes Tu up against the cage in a clinch.
Tu tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. PoopyPants smiles and moves away.
Tu thows a body shot but no joy.

PoopyPants forces Tu back against the cage and clinches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
A nice left hand lands by PoopyPants.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants lands an elbow inside that Tu shrugs off.
Tu jumps guard but PoopyPants turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.

PoopyPants breaks from the clinch.
PoopyPants is looking to wear down Tu with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Tu uses good head movement to avoid the hook from PoopyPants.
Tu walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Tu takes a shot to the body in his stride.
Tu takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
BitchFace PoopyPants is winning the standup battle so far.
Nice sprawl there from PoopyPants as Tu shoots in.
Tu is breathing heavily.
Tu lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as PoopyPants backs up against the cage.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
PoopyPants misses with a wild body shot.
Tu shoots in and drives through. PoopyPants sprawls well.
PoopyPants uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Tu.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

BitchFace PoopyPants dominated that second round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

The fighters circling - Tu throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Tu uses good head movement to avoid the hook from PoopyPants.
Good shot there by PoopyPants.

PoopyPants clinches.
PoopyPants works on Tu's body with a couple of short punches.
Tu is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables PoopyPants to keep the fight standing.
Tu is trying to pull guard but PoopyPants turns him against the cage and we stay in the clinch.
Tu tries to pull guard but PoopyPants won't allow it.
BitchFace PoopyPants has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Vit Tu.
PoopyPants presses Tu against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
PoopyPants lands an elbow inside that Tu shrugs off.

It looks like Vit Tu has been cut.

PoopyPants breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
The fighters circle momentarily. PoopyPants darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
PoopyPants throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
PoopyPants thuds a left hand into Tu's body.
Tu takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

PoopyPants moves into the clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Tu or not.

PoopyPants escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Tu circles away from the clinch attempt.
PoopyPants connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Tu missing with a left hand there. PoopyPants was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
PoopyPants tests Tu's chin there with a solid looking shot.
PoopyPants with a nice cross.
PoopyPants is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
PoopyPants looks to land a left hand but Tu moved out of range nicely.
PoopyPants waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Tu.
PoopyPants scores with a hook to the body. Tu takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Tu throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped
enabling PoopyPants to counter with a crisp jab.
PoopyPants's jab looks to have found its range, popping Tu under the eye.
PoopyPants lands a nice hook to Tu's body. Tu takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.

PoopyPants has managed to clinch.
PoopyPants lands with a light punch inside.
Tu takes an elbow to the forehead.
Nice body punch from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
PoopyPants tries to throw a body punch but Tu avoids it by throwing PoopyPants back against the cage.
A nice left hand lands by PoopyPants.

Tu is rocked!
Tu tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Tu is still on wobbly legs! Can PoopyPants finish him?
Tu is trying to pull guard but being pressed up against the cage enables PoopyPants to keep the fight standing.
PoopyPants lands a nice elbow.
PoopyPants digs a right hand underneath Tu's ribcage. Tu let out a lung full of air as it connected.
PoopyPants lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Nice body punch from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
PoopyPants lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

PoopyPants breaks the clinch.

PoopyPants fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Tu, pushing him back against the cage.
PoopyPants is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Tu can do to turn this around?
Tu tries to pull guard but PoopyPants forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
A right handed body shot lands from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants lands an elbow just above Tu 's eye.
PoopyPants digs a right hand underneath Tu's ribcage. Tu let out a lung full of air as it connected.
PoopyPants lands an uppercut in the clinch that drops Tu to his knees! PoopyPants keeps firing more shots against his stricken opponent and the referee jumps in to save him!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:28 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). BitchFace PoopyPants!
A victorious BitchFace PoopyPants thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.